To despair of children’s Christmas presents

[Yura]

I just packed a huge charity bag with unusable Christmas presents - why oh why do people not ask? And why do they not listen to the answers?
Loads of Lego - child likes the bricks, but not cars. It’s all cars (5 boxes)
Clothes with polyester - both kids have eczema that is triggered by polyester. Everybody around us know that as it took us ages to get wearable school uniform for the oldest. A bag full going to the charity shop with labels attached.
Warm winter clothes 9-12 months size up for the baby. He is in 3-6 months now, they would fit in summer (Polyester anyway, so can’t use them)
2 part pyjamas for the baby? Polyester anyway so he can’t wear them, but 2 parters for a 7 month old?
A book on “ scary dinosaurs” for a very sensitive 6 year old suffering from nightmares (we’ll keep that actually, maybe the baby will like it when he’s older)
I’m thankful that people give us presents, but we end up giving 90% unopened/labels attached to the charity shop, it’s such a waste.

You sound precious and rude and are obviously raising your children to be the same.

Well I’m sure whoever gets these presents will be far more grateful than you. I really hope you’re not so vocal about this when no your son is around

That dinosaur thread was hilarious.
And the OP would claim that SDA had buried those bones himself

1. it turns out that just buying normal Lego bricks is practically impossible, unless you are buying a tub of them, and that retails at about £30 +

You must be looking in the wrong shops.
I bought several small tubs of Lego bricks as Christmas gifts this year for £12.99 each at Smyths. They had about 220 bricks in, which is enough to get started building simple stuff. And that’s in the same sort of price region as many Cars Lego sets. I think the next size up, at £18 or £20, had something like 300 bricks in. Hopefully linked the small tub I bought below:

www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/toys/lego-and-bricks/lego-classic/lego-classic-creative-bricks-10692/p/141278?gclid=Cj0KCQiAyszSBRDJARIsAHAqQ4oru9N4CWpmx-N62GpGZa0XVJd9ACaHWjxL1Vi1iu2o1f0HDHBOf5UaAleKEALw_wcB

3out the cheapest Lego "just bricks" set I'm looking at right now (DS has just discovered Big Boy Lego as a result of a very thoughtful Christmas present) is £5 & the cheapest tub is £12.99 on Amazon.

What I can't find is a box of nothing but wheels as DS likes inventing new car/helicopter mash ups

NoCrying - do you live near any Lego stores? I went in one a while back, and they had a sort of pick and mix thing where you could fill a cup with Lego pieces of your choice.
Although I didn’t look closely enough to remember if you could select wheels.

SparkleFizz/ NoCrying. Yes Lego stores do have tyres and the grey bits that pop inside the tyres as part of the pick and mix wall in our local Lego Store

Our nearest one is the Metro Centre Sparkle so I might have a look next time I'm there. I've also found a Classic mix box that says it contains wheels, but I'm actually wondering about asking my DM to have a rummage in the big Lego box at home and send a few pairs down in the post

You can also buy specific pieces from Lego online. My son usd to like wheels too and I bought loads of them online! Not expensive either

I'm gob smacked... Are you for real OP??

Of course you keep them in the present drawer and regift for parties/school fair collections etc throughout the year.

Of course you take back clothing with tags to be exchanged for clothing more suitable.

How ungrateful. How entitled.
And you think this is good behaviour to model to your DS??

Wow, just wow.

The Lego sounds like the easy build stuff which it is hard to do anything else with. DS has a few bits, and it has larger moulded pieces, so a car might only have 5 pieces, two for the wheels, base, top and bonnet. Very much geared towards only following the instructions.

Oh and your can buy random bags of second hand Lego by the kilo on eBay. It's great.

Not sure what your issue is exactly, they can’t wear polyester so tell the people who have them to you and get the gift receipt, they aren’t telepathic and would know not to do it again, I’d personally be more annoyed at a friend letting me waste money year after year by keeping their mouth shut and not just telling me? Also regifting ...really? So your son doesn’t like Lego cars so his friends won’t? Bricks are bricks just chuck them in with the rest of them also he may change his mind in a couple of months? Also two piece pjs don’t knock them until you’ve tried them - they are actually much easier

totally get this - the wastefulness of presents ruins Christmas for me.

That said - clearly others don't agree with me otherwise there would not be the frenzy of present buying that there is so maybe I should just get with the programme ?

OP, seems I am in minority here but I do see your point. I understand that most people buying the gifts were close family and friends? Personally, more than anything I'd feel quite hurt, if any of mine didn't remember that myself or DC had a severe long term allergy for a start. I have quite a few close friends and family plus their DC with a myriad of health conditions (autism, gluten allergy diabetes, etc. I would feel really bad thinking of someone, especially a kid, opening a present only to find it can't actually have it. Gift giving to me shows that you care and think of the the person you give it to. If you don't know, are too busy or simply can't be bothered - just give money, gift cards, etc. But I guess that for most people (at least on this thread) getting something vaguely age/gender appropriate without any further thought is somehow more "personal" or shows "more effort" (i.e. well, of course, all boys should be into cars at some point - I know some who never were or will be are in their 30s now) .

have quite a few close friends and family plus their DC with a myriad of health conditions (autism, gluten allergy diabetes, etc

Ds1 can't have gluten. When someone gets him a selection box he says thank you then later he'll swap with his sister for things he can have. He doesn't take offence at their otherwise kind gift. Just because someone has an allergy doesn't give them an extra right to take offence or to be rude.

My own sister and I discuss niece and nephew gifts beforehand but tbh op sounds so bloody fussy and entitled that I'm not surprised people don't bother asking her

"@MinorRSole "Just because someone has an allergy doesn't give them an extra right to take offence or to be rude" The OP has said quite explicitly that they did thank the gift givers*. How is that offensive, rude or entitled? She hasn't said to anyone "stuff your presents". Just venting off her disappointment (and her kids) that they were given so many ,oh yes, thoughtless presents. Yes, if it is just "someone" giving your gluten-intolerant boy a run-of-the-mill chocs cause they were on "buy 1 get 1 free offer" to make themselves feel better that they've "made an effort" or simply didn't know, I get that. Not from people actually close to you! I wouldn't dream of doing that to my nephew with same condition. Frankly. I find it really sad people have those types of "close" relations. To me, it's like having a vegan over, feeding him meat and then saying "Well should just be bloody grateful for the food". That is not the point, thought and consideration for people close to you is!

DS1 (10) sold his unwanted Christmas gifts on eBay and bought himself something else. He still wrote thank you cards and was genuinely grateful he had been given a gift, even if it wasn't the right one.

With all due respect @Restlessandwild her child isn't allergic to Lego though is he? Nor are any of the children he has decided not to regift this 'stupid' present to.
Feel free to hop up and down on the ops behalf but she is still coming across as rude in my opinion

I don't think the OP comes across well (to put it mildly) but tbh I don't do gifts anymore for anyone except my children and charity. Seriously, what's the point? Everyone has everything, and a great big present-fest is just excessive, wasteful and, I feel, somewhat obscene. We don't need all this stuff and, has been so clearly illustrated, it's very often unappreciated so y'know, stop it already.

Sorry but I'd agree with the yabu people (sorry!) They're presents. I always say to my children that people went out and thought about the presents and considered what the giftee might like. You can't moan about them!!!

@MinorRSole With all due respect, I am not here on anyone's behalf. Just as most of you think a small child is being incredibly rude of daring to voice to his mum what he honestly thought of someone's present (how dare he: entitled, rude, etc) after probably opening 8th present in a row of stuff he can't use or doesn't like to play with. I am sure all of you at the age of 6 had perfect manner, composure, etc and never showed even to your own parents your real feelings (right or wrong). They all still bloody thanked everyone! I find it incredibly rude that none of these people would show any real interest what OP's DC are actually into. When I start buying Xmas or other present I always a quick text or email asking for ideas and everyone is happy, especially the kids. And boys do have a pack mentality, so in a small village with just a few they'd probably all be into just Ninjago, or whatever and not interested in much else. And a 6 yes old boy would want to give his few friends something he know they actually are into, not regift something that he knows for sure would be as disappointing for them as it was for him! How awful her DS is

@restlessandwild thanks!!

I haven't read all the posts as there a lot! But - just because the lego car has wheels and a windscreen etc - you can still use the bits for building structures and buildings. We build all kinds of wacky stuff using any bits from any model. It helps creativity and imagination.
I have before returned clothes to the store and swapped for something more appropriate - not because I was ungrateful, but because it was shorts and wouldn't fit him till midwinter. I didn't tell the giver as the shop just let me swap it for something else - no problem. I am teaching my boy to accept what he has been given and get used to having something even if it isn't perfect (in his eyes), and be grateful for it. The only time we swapped lego is because it was a duplicate. Not a dig. Just saying.

You sound very ungrateful, fair enough you don’t like the presents and that’s up to you but moaning about it well that’s just rude. Be thankful people care enough to give gifts when so many can’t afford to