Can DP not be arsed or am I a grabby cow?

[MyLoveIsAPrickOnATudorRose]

Let me preface this by saying my DP didn't get me anything for Christmas, even though we'd discussed what we were getting each other at the beginning of December and I got him something I put a lot of thought into. He came up with some wonderful excuses as to why he hadn't thought of me when I pointed out how much it had hurt my feelings. Anyway, we moved on. It's my birthday soon and he's told me to just get something I'd like and he'll give me the money back. AIBU to feel like he still can't be arsed? I feel like I'm being grabby but it isn't about the 'things' - it's about the consideration? We've been together for two years if that helps. He says I'm hard to buy for but he's always going on about how well he knows me so surely it can't be that much of a flipping mystery.

Uuuurgh now he's annoyed with me bc I ate some of a chocolate bar he'd earmarked for himself even though I bought the shopping. Feel like I'm finally Waking up to him being a selfish manchild

He can’t be bothered to put in ten minutes of internet shopping for you. Totally disrespectful to you.

I would be having a flaming row about this if my DH was so nasty. Luckily my DH loves me and appreciates all I do both for him and the running of our home. If your DH can’t be bothered to buy you a bottle of perfume, an album, a nice piece of jewellery or something else that he knows you’d appreciate its time you had words with him.

How long does the tenancy have to run for now?

x boxes are a matter of taste

Mine does me a stocking every year off his own bat full of little thoughtful things and yet sometimes plays xbox so I wouldn't correlate xbox with hopeless tbh I sometimes play too

Op everything you write just makes him sound worse.

I don't know much about housing matters but when is your tenancy up it must come sooner or later? Then you can up sticks and go and live somewhere else, I lived by myself for 10 years (after I managed to dislodge boyfriend) and it was brilliant.

The food was all definitely mine for a start

He's annoyed because you are SOME of something that was a household purchase? Wanker.

At least plan to get out if you can't right now.

The more you post about him the more of a wanker he sounds.

You ate some of a bar of chocolate that you paid for and he was annoyed? . What a selfish self centred twat. Get rid. He is a waste of space.

Honestly? I'd get rid. It doesn't sound like you're happy xx

My dp is like.this but only at Christmas.. he'll get me something I'll love but it'll be late...

Birthdays and other holidays he does well and he also buys me "Just because" presents and spoil my better half days randomly but Christmas something .. normally money issues comes up.

It's the lack of thought.. even if he was to say I have no idea what to get you but well go out and find something and make a day of it would be better then what he's done.

What does he say when you mention it to him

Thesmallthings - When I mentioned to him on the day he shrugged and said he 'didn't do Christmas and didn't realise I did' - to put you in the picture last year and this one I decorated the place like sodding Lapland bc I love Christmas and he definitely knows how much as last year he said how cute it was that I went all out. He knows it isn't just a 'holiday' for me and carries real religious significance too which he takes the piss out of. Was deeply saddened at the time and still am. He seems to think a lot of things I enjoy are stupid.

He's an absolute shit, isn't he? Are you young-ish? Is this cock your first 'boyfriend' - or was your last relationship with a different flavour of shit (eg violent/constantly unfaithful/alcoholic and this bloke is not one of those at least).
It's very common for women who have had one awful relationship to walk straight into another, because they are so hung up on whatever the last bloke's major fault was that they don't see different faults in the new bloke (and abusive men are good at spotting vulnerable women who don't value themselves).

Depending on how long your tenancy has to run, start looking for another place to live or have a word with the landlord to say that you are separating from your partner and find out what the options are. Remember that you do not need Dickhead's permission or co-operation to dump him. Your landlord might agree to you ending the tenancy early, or one of you getting a new housemate (if there is a spare bedroom). If he reacts to being dumped with aggression, you can call the police and have him removed.

He's a dick. Make an Amazon wish list & put loads & loads on it. Tell him you don't expect everything but he can mak up for his lack of previous gifts if he's so I clind.

Sign up takes 5 mins ffs. And it's not a one off-amazon delivery is a great way for a lazy CBA husband to appear thoughtful of his sW. I'm more than happy with a couple of amazon surprises

“He's a dick. Make an Amazon wish list & put loads & loads on it. Tell him you don't expect everything but he can mak up for his lack of previous gifts if he's so I clind”

Yep. It’s definitely women’s responsibility to take up the slack......

You need to break up with him, I’ve had relationships like that, you deserve more than someone who belittles your wands and needs.

And to a pp who said it’s because he’s a man, I can attest that not all men, or even most, are like that. DH is a very thoughtful gift giver.

He doesn't sound very kind at all.

Your relationship should always be more than ‘ok’. Especially when you’ve only been in it for two years.

A ‘partner’ who mocks your religious beliefs is no partner.

He could buy you gifts every day but that is a line crossed so far that it’s a big no-no from me.
I’m sorry but you seem very incompatible to me

Even if you stay living in the same place you can still break up with him. I'm guessing you do his laundry, cook for him etc which you can stop doing immediately. If there's a spare bedroom move into it.

Yes I do the cleaning, laundry, cooking etc. He says he appreciates how much I do esp as we both work although I have less hours. I just wish he'd show it!

I think he actually feels threatened by my interests and intellect as whenever I talk about my favourite books or airituality he finds some way to try and pull it down.

*spirituality.

He's said before that when I talk about philosophy or theology or history, three of my core subjects, that I'm prideful and flexing my intellect for the sake of it or to look good

When does your tenancy end OP? Or can you discuss with the letting agent / landlord an early release? Don't allow yourself to be treated so shabbily. Look at how to escape - might be tough sorting but it's not worth feeling shit about everything all the time.