To be lividly wondering about this and log with 101?

[TheCatOfAthenry]

Why did Kelis warm up her milkshake? Did the boys go to the yard because of the smell of old warm milkshakes?

And in what way was the man in The Killers experiencing a sign that was vital. Were his O2 sats 98% in room air and BP 120/80 mmHg?

The mind does boggle.

ginnotginger at least you have a streetlight!

Over here, with the lights out, it's just dangerous. Here we are now, trying to entertain us. But I really feel stupid, and fear it's contagious.

Should I call 101?!!

Couple of strange OLD messages today:

First guy said he wanted my ugly, my disease and my everything as long as it's was free - WTF?!

Second one works in my local chippy and says he's Elvis. Not called Elvis, but is THE Elvis. I reckon he's lying.

Should I date either of them?

I'm in the same predicament @fflonkl

Here I am, all alone in the moonlight. And all I can do is dream of the old days, because life was beautiful then.
I remember, the time I knew what happiness was.

Should I get counselling? Do you think some antidepressants would help?

Don't call 101 though. I don't want to burden our overstretched services.

I've been meaning to ask about Club Tropicana. Does anyone know how come the drinks are free? It seems too good to be true, and I worry I'll be cornered by one of those timeshare sharks.

@Gazelda I'd give it a go. After all the best things in life are free and what could be better than a nice piña colada?

Go on! Live a little!

Especially at the copa cabana. But watch out for Tony and Lola (she used to be a show girl apparently) - always falling out (he's very jealous by all accounts) - Wouldn't surprise me if they end up killing each other one day.

Also watch out for men drinking pina coladas who are waiting for blind dates who turn out to be their own lovely ladies, who they really didn't know well at all to begin with.

Lots of potential cheaters there.

Another one with a fucked satnav - was driving home for Christmas but ended up on a road to nowhere

Ahh if only I could see moonlight @gingergenius. All I get is its shadow. Which would be fine, except that I'm lost in a riddle and all this just reminds me of the last time I saw him

I'm staying and I'm praying and hoping I'll see him in heaven one day, but the thing is, life is such a mystery and everyone must stand alone. And then, I hear someone else call my name and it just feels like home.

Maybe I've had too much piña colada?

@Practicallyperfectwithprosecco
Better than the road to hell. No-one wants to go there and thank fuck none of us have to be driving home for Christmas with all those bastarding red lights all around us for another 12 months - gives me the rage it does

My baby's just gone down the plug Hole! Do you think social services will get involved?

Some guy is saying that I know we belong together, you and I forever and ever, no matter where you are, you're my guiding star. I have no idea who he is and I know nothing about astronomy. Creepy right?

And video killed the radio star! I should call 999 yes?

this is all a bit too 'lighthearted' I've got a really serious problem; I love my son but I am going to have to report him to the police.
He killed a man , put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger and now he's dead

I'm suspicious of my boyfriend. I hear he went up to Saratoga and his horse naturally won.

Should I call 101, the RSPCA, or the British Horseracing Board?

If I will be queen, and you'll drink all the time, we can afford rehab. I promise to stop being mean.

@DontMakeMeShushYou Did he also give away the things he loved?

If so, I'd go for calling his GP for a home visit.

Silicone you'll need to get a priest to come round. I've heard they're just the thing when you've got a devil for a sideboard.

And I know the world has changed a bit since late December 1963 but why make a song about such a sensitive subject? If it did happen that 'half the night she spent harassing me', I think the person in question has adequate grounds for complaint.

I've actually rung the Police tonight about some of these occurences, as they were incredibly disturbing and I was quite worried.

They went out of their way to repeatedly tell me that they will now be watching every move I make and every step I take, which has gone some way to reassure me.

I just heard freddie confess to his momma that he killed a man, aibu to ring 101

Must be the night for it because I overheard someone saying 'look what you made me do' and explaining that a T. Swift was unable to come to the phone coz she's dead.

Good morning night owls. Can someone light up another cigarette and I'll pour the 🍷. Welcome to 4 o'clock in the morning!

Woke up, fell out of bed.
Must stop doing that

Help.

I need somebody.

Help.

Not just anybody

You know I need someone. Heeeeelp!!

Do I sound needy? AIBU to wanna hold your hand?

@gingergenius that's because your lips are like strawberry wine. Tell 101 you're only 16 and they'll send a specially trained professional.