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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP startled me.

196 replies

supersop60 · 04/01/2018 08:04

Ok - he didn't do it on purpose, but it made me cry out, and then he got cross with me.
Back to school today - DS and I downstairs, Dp comes into the living room, chats, and disappears into the kitchen (or so I think).
DS and I go back upstairs to finish getting ready, and I walk into our bedroom which is pitch black (very efficient blackout blinds) so I fumble my way to the window to open them. Suddenly there's a male voice, and I yelped. DP had gone back to bed, and I thought he was in the kitchen. I then got "Oh for fuck's sake!" because he was cross with me. DS also said "You didn't need to scream"
It was involuntary - I didn't decide to scream.
Now I'm wondering if I'm like that Catherine Tate character. AIBU?

OP posts:
diddl · 04/01/2018 08:33

Why was he so cross?

And your son also being annoyed?

Why is it such a thing if you overreacted?

Olddear · 04/01/2018 08:33

I took the dog out. It was dark. I didn't scream. She done a widdle and a wee jobby.

Usewithoutcaution · 04/01/2018 08:34

Mumsnet can be a weird place.

There's a thread about the moon where posters are rabbiting on about cream cheese for a whole page. Hmm

Seems about as relevant as this yet this went down like a lead balloon.

Fwiw op I'm very jumpy and shriek when dp startles me but he would never ever get cross. In fact he apologises to me half the time. I hope your dp doesn't always react like that with you.

Usewithoutcaution · 04/01/2018 08:35

Good grief the inane posts about what people are doing are now worse.

LunaMay · 04/01/2018 08:37

So was it a yelp or a scream because i can imagine a scream that time of the the morning really irritating me.
I would probably also jump and squeal if i entered what i thought was a dark empty room and then heard someone, think most people would but if your son heard it you must of been loud!.

Pickleypickles · 04/01/2018 08:38

Fuckin hell its not even 9 am?! Too early for this much bitchyness
If you think a thread is mundane dont post. Dont make someone else feel like a dickhead.

SlimDogMillionaire · 04/01/2018 08:40

Never mind all that, which blinds are you recommending here?

Nottheduchessofcambridge · 04/01/2018 08:40

What else did you do? He’s not going to be cross because you let out a yelp.
If my OH did that to me I’d let out some swear words and he’d laugh. I do it back sometimes too, wait in a dark room and jump out. He hates it Grin

whoareyoukidding · 04/01/2018 08:41

Does DP often belittle you and make you feel in the wrong? Your reaction was natural and your DP was bloody nasty about it. If he is often nasty about the way you behave, this may suggest a deeper issue.

Fluffyears · 04/01/2018 08:41

My train was delayed, then it wasn’t really my train but the one in front....

BifsWif · 04/01/2018 08:43

Oh fuck off with your stupid comments.

OP does your OH usually get annoyed with you so easily?

Hatsoffdear · 04/01/2018 08:43

It’s emotional abuse op! Get your finances in order and get legal advice. It will be knock door run next.

Ltb now.

ButchyRestingFace · 04/01/2018 08:44

I have very mild CP and a heightened startle response on one side. Don’t think I scream though.

Could a similar dripfeed be coming?

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 04/01/2018 08:45

he probably said "oh for fucks sake" as he knew she'd promptly be on mumsnet writing a post seeking advice about it. That is an over reaction.

GetYourRocksOff · 04/01/2018 08:45

People are arseholes.

In fact it just takes one and others follow shit.

Op I would have got a fright too. It's word they were angry at your reaction though.

Laiste · 04/01/2018 08:47

So, cry out, yelp or scream?

(i stubbed my toe in the kitchen this morning and swore at the cat)

Floellabumbags · 04/01/2018 08:50

DH is a creeping jesus. I'm thinking of getting him a bell to ring when he's scuttling about the house so I can hear him before he appears beside me and shits me up.

HighwayDragon1 · 04/01/2018 08:51

DH did this to me once while I was drying my hair... I screamed and threw the hairdryer at him I was that startled, he thought it was hilarious, as would anyone in that situation.

Why was your P angry? Why did your DS think to reprimand you for crying out? Are you always on eggshells around him?

ButchyRestingFace · 04/01/2018 08:53

DH is a creeping jesus.

I’ve never heard of this expression before. So I fires up the Google search engine and it says

Creeping Jesus = a person who is obsequious or hypocritically pious

Does he pad about obsequiously or piously? Grin

RunningOutOfCharge · 04/01/2018 08:53

What does 'pad about' even mean??

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 04/01/2018 08:56

I'm super jumpy. That would have alarmed me. But I'm pretty used to it, no need to alert mumsnet!

Ginslinger · 04/01/2018 08:56

OP I don't understand why you're getting such a hard time - okay it's not a big deal but you're obviously concerned that you over react to things and your DH and DS were both impatient. Do you feel that you do over react to things normally or was it just something that happened today? Is your DH normally impatient with you? That's probably the important thing and obviously this has concerned you enough to write a thread about it. Flowers

ButchyRestingFace · 04/01/2018 08:57

What does 'pad about' even mean??

Walk about (quietly).

Would have thought it was fairly self explanatory but hey.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 04/01/2018 08:57

I’ve no idea why so many people have been so horrible?!

Yes, I’d have got a fright if I thought DH was in the kitchen and then heard a voice in the dark bedroom. That kind of thing happens relatively often as I’m generally miles away thinking about other things, so easily startled I guess. However, my brain seems to realise it’s ok just a nano second after and I tend to involuntarily shout, quite loudly, ‘For fuck sake’.

Your DH seems to be lacking in both common sense and empathy. Now your DS is copying him. Something needs to change in your house, and fast.

BalloonSlayer · 04/01/2018 08:58

I am also turning into the Catherine Tate character too.

I squeal when my phone goes off, when the doorbell rings, when the microwave beeps.

DH has a habit of dropping the laundry basket on the floor from a standing height, it really startles me.

And if my phone makes a noise outside its usual repertoire I am beside myself with shock. Grin "Shriek!! What's it doing?"