To ask about revenge and break-ups

[Carbohol78]

Not really an AIBU thread, but it arose from one, so most of the contributors of the original thread (AIBU to refuse to stop receiving maintenance) will be in this area

This will offend some people! But it’s anonymous on the internet, and even though the topic or circumstances aren’t light-hearted, I though we could have a giggle and try to see some humour in the pain that we once had!

To be clear, I am not proud of what I did, I handled the break-up very badly, I have never badmouthed my Ex to our DC, but at the time of the break-up (several years ago) I did everything I could to make his life a misery. I will spend the rest of my life secretly making up to my children for not being a bit stronger or more resilient and rising above it.

Basically .... what was your awful break-up or revenge story?

My Ex cheated (a lot!) and when it finally became too much for me to deny it and look the other way, he left me for one of the OW

I was heartbroken and debt-ridden with young children and he gave no financial support at all

In my case, I used his credit card to pay for the outstanding bills - council tax, water, electricity etc. Then after a torrent of abusive emails and texts about how I had “let myself go”, was a crap mum with mental health issues, Ex one day stupidly forwarded me an email in error which one of his OW had written, pretending to be him (for him to send me from his account), again listing all my faults. As the OW sent it from her work account to his work account, I saw red and sent it to both their companies HR Depts claiming they were vicariously liable for their employees’ harassment. They both got suspended and disciplined, his sister tore me apart on social media, so I sent the email to his friends and family also

Obviously I was just as bad in replying with vindictive texts and just as nasty, but he cheated, so I felt justified

Told you I was bad!

Oh, before returning his car (which actually I paid half of, but was just in his name), I drove it round and round our village till it ran out of petrol and he had to walk to collect it and get fuel can etc and have everyone beeping and laughing at the “idiot who’d run out of petrol in the middle of the High Street”

Harmful? No
Petty? Yes
Regretted? Fuck no

Oh, and when he moved into his new house, he got all stroppy about me “keeping all the toys”, I agreed the DC needed things to play with, so I kindly collected all the Lego, jigsaws and marbles etc that they owned, put it in a massive refuse sack along with the sand from the sandpit, took it to his house and emptied the entire bag through the living room window he’d generously left open, into his front room, the kids were with me for the next few days, they had no idea, except to be very excited when we went shopping for new stuff!

OMG - OP legend.

You are supposed to sit there, smile and do it for the good of the children and it is for the best. You suck up the shit the EX and the OW give out, see your so called friends, be excluded, make friends with the "new " woman, watch them pretend to be Mum to your children, hear things you are supposed to have done and have not and sit there are smile benignly!!!!

I have worked on karma and not done anything, she has so spectacularly lied and been caught out - there was the occasion I was apparently texting her and phoning her and being abusive. I got off a flight to torrents of abuse from "friends" about my behaviour. I posted on facebook, my boarding pass for the 8 hr flight I was on when this was allegedly happening!!!! Then there was my bad behviour when I was under a General anaesthetic having an operation. Lovely surgeon gave me a copy of my operation record which had the day and time I was wheeled into theatre and wheeled out!

Don't get me wrong I have fantasised about doing things to EX but he would cut contact and hurt the DCS - between the two of them they have screwed themselves but I do still wish I had the balls to take a full page advert in a national newspaper of the two of them in bed ( found it on his computer) and then detail their lies -

So do those of you who have - total respect!!!!

And only those who have been on the receiving end of th eEX and the OW - can truly understand the satisfaction you get for that split second of success!!

OP - you legend!!!

I'd love to sign my cheating and thieving ex up to get loads of spam/nuisance phone calls. Anyone have any suggestions of where to sign him up?

They deserved it OP. I like your style. Nothing to be ashamed about.

This thread makes me sad. Petty vindictiveness provides short term pleasure but is corrosive and is absolutely NOT what should be encouraged

Not such a serious relationship but I was a couple of years into a long distance relationship when the idiot used my computer to check his online dating profile and didn’t log out properly.

If he’d have been looking for a bit of fun on the side I probably wouldn’t have cared so much. But apparently he was looking for a serious, commitment leading to marriage. Something I thought we were working towards and was manoeuvring my career to make happen.

So I updated the wording of his profile to make it clear he already had a partner and would leave her once he found the ideal potential wife.

I wouldn't call anything the OP has done "corrosive". I do however think cheating on someone can and often does cause lasting damage to the person who has been cheated on and can affect mental health.

I'm laughing so hard at the shower gel thing - bloody genius!

Some of theee really made me smile.

But as

Poster too soon.

Some of these really made me smile.

But as a divorcee Of two young children, my relationship with my ex is one of my most important relationships and last thing I’d want is to fuck that up with little acts of revenge because it would affect my children and there’s no denying it.

@roundthehorn bloody hell you're lucky they didn't press charges re the distribution of her naked image.

roundthehorn

Not remotely funny.

round the horn - my mouth has hit the floor!!

To those who are getting sanctimonious - really you have not been on the receiving end of vicious vindictive Ex and OWs.

I haven't done anything but dearly wish I had. Knowing his then OW, she would have had me prosecuted and my career and independence would have been lost.

I am living my revenge vicariously through you ladies - thank you for making me smile!

What woman assists a man in verbally tearing another woman apart.

Or even a person assisting someone tearing another person apart. How embarrassing.

Good for you.

@roundthehorn

The woman who you had met a few times and hosted got all of that.

What did your husband who made vows and impregnated you three times get ?

Jack shit I bet.

Says more about you than it does about her.

Cringing for you

As I did the final check that I had all my belongings before finally leaving the apartment for the last time I spied his mouse wash, casually did a little wee in it, carefully shook bottle to disguise the smell

The shower gel top up was truly inspired!

@roundthehorn well you are lucky you didn't get a criminal record.

Acts of hate and revenge don't sit easy, but enough water has gone under the bridge that I can raise a smile when I share these tales!

Or in your case acts of criminality.

Cbany - her husband was included in the email - bet life was a bit bad for a while for both of them.

Am sick of people saying the OW is not guilty and it is your EX who should be punished. They are both as guilty as hell - they both deserve what they get.

We do have to get on with the EX - we all know it - but come on, when your best friend and your husband have stabbed you in the back, removed your social network and support, isolated you, told lies and then start making life difficult for your DCs before you have even considered revenge or done anything - they do push you.

Mouse wash should be mouth wash...