Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I asked my guest to leave my home.

999 replies

bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 22:44

We built a house a couple of fields away from some neighbours.

I met the husband at the local shop a couple of months after we got settled & after some chat asked if him and his wife would like to join us, friends & family for a New Years Eve dinner.

His wife and himself arrived that night and they were initially great. During conversation she asked for a tour of the house and I said no (not in a rude way). 20 minutes later she said again that she would like a tour of the house and again I said no. Then a THIRD time she asked and at that point my husband stepped in and said that there wouldn't be a tour.

She used the bathroom numerous times in the night which is located under the stairs. My niece was in our room at the top of the stairs past the closet which eventually leads into the master bedroom.

This woman had climbed the stairs later in the night when she asked to be excused for the bathroom went through my closet and into the master bedroom. My niece flew down and told my husband who marched upstairs and quietly asked her to leave. She claimed she was lost but, she had used the bottom bathroom all night!!
Should I have given her a tour or was she being completely unreasonable?

OP posts:
MilesHuntsWig · 02/01/2018 23:55

Eurgh I hate the expectation of a tour. When DH and I bought our first house we had loads done to it as it was barely functional. One of our new neighbours knew the builder and told him we’d said it was ok to let her in to see what was being done (which we hadn’t). Cheeky cow. It’s nice to be interested, but that’s just bloody cheeky like your neighbour...

Boulshired · 02/01/2018 23:56

Lots of people do, just more subtle. If a friend invites me for a coffee then I am expecting a coffee and chat. But if the invite is just after a swanky extension then I am expecting a demonstration of their bi fold doors wether I want one or not.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 02/01/2018 23:56

If offered I’d feel compelled to accept,but I’d expect it to be quick,low key no minutiae about paint/costs/building control

overnightangel · 02/01/2018 23:56

YANBU
Who the fucks ask for a tour of someone’s house?!! Bizarre behaviour
Why would you want a tour of someone’s house anyway?

bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 23:56

@Bibbidee crushed grey velvet!! I have thrown over some muted rose blankets with matching pillows and it's devine!!!!!!

OP posts:
Toucanet · 02/01/2018 23:58

Avoid avoid avoid and make sure she hasn't stolen some of your keys to make a set of her own, I'd say.

MrsJackRackham · 02/01/2018 23:59

BMW6 I think the majority of Scottish posters have said it's a normal expectation to have a tour......HTH hen.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 03/01/2018 00:00

Goodness there are some active imaginations on here.

Crouchendmumoftwo · 03/01/2018 00:01

I think you are very odd to say 'no'. It's a bit bizarre. I would have said yes as people are always interested and it seems very rude to say 'no' so yes you were being unreasonable.

MyOtherProfile · 03/01/2018 00:01

We had an extension built and redecorated our lounge. I practically dragged visitors to come and admire the decor but would never take people upstairs. That's family space.

Blarblarblar · 03/01/2018 00:01

Just done up my house. Everyone who come in wants a snoop. No problem to me. Equally always offered in someone elses, to me it seems completely normal. I’m Scottish. Seems this might be the key.
It’s totally your right not too it just seems odd to me that you would find it odd.

frogsoup · 03/01/2018 00:02

Going to the hellish trouble of building an ENTIRE NEW HOUSE and not wanting to show it off to all and sundry is baffling to me. I'm in England. It'd be actively rude not to ask for a tour round here - offering is a grey area moving towards 'I'm showing off', hence guests tend to ask.

Is there a class difference as well as a regional one at play here? Unusually polarised responses.

WorraLiberty · 03/01/2018 00:02

Gaaah! I thought it would be considered rude so if it ever happens, I'll just smile and cringe for them Blush Grin

No big deal.

GlomOfNit · 03/01/2018 00:02

What the hell is this obsession these days with 'house tours'?! You'd think we all lived in stately homes! Your house is your own private space. If you're into showing off or are particularly house-proud then sure, you offer a tour. (Though personally, I'd feel bloody odd asking people if they wanted to see over the house for no obvious reason.) You don't ASK to have one. Dear god, how naff.

GreenTulips · 03/01/2018 00:04

I'd have expected a tour as well

You invite new neighbours to your newly built house .... they were expecting to be shown round!

WorraLiberty · 03/01/2018 00:04

offering is a grey area moving towards 'I'm showing off'

See that's what I think.

It's a bit like, "Behold, the beauty you see before you that is my palatial home" Grin

Granted, I do have an over active imagination...

kaytee87 · 03/01/2018 00:05

What the hell is this obsession these days with 'house tours'?!

There's nothing 'these days' about it, been going on for ages up here.

ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 03/01/2018 00:05

Why the hell do people expect a bloody tour?

This!!

I never understood why it's customary to give a tour of the house.

SassySausageSupper · 03/01/2018 00:06

Maybe she was looking for a more private toilet to use?

I don’t mind giving close friends a tour but I wouldn’t expect or ask for one at someone’s house. And I’m in Scotland.

Twoo · 03/01/2018 00:07

I find it vvv puzzling why posters are saying the OP was rude! How so? It’s her home, her sanctuary, her rules.

I for one don’t do upstairs tours as that’s classed as private quarters, unless of course we had an overnight guest. Down stairs tours I do for safety & comfort of visitors so they know where loos and sinks are etc.

In answer to your thread OP no neither you nor your DH were unreasonable.

BackInTheRoom · 03/01/2018 00:07

@bubblesdrew Sounds lush OP! 👀

StrangeLookingParasite · 03/01/2018 00:07

You were rude not to give a tour.

No she wasn't. Nor was she the least bit unreasonable. Bloody weird nosy cow.

cathycake · 03/01/2018 00:07

I take my hat off to you for saying no when you didn't want to. House tours I'd have no probs with friends /family if you've done some decorating etc or just moved in but a stranger who you've just met it's a bit too much

It's over familiar - if it were me I would have loved to had said 'no' but would have ended up taking her up and wishing that I'd made my bed and picked my knickers up before hand! Good on you op

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 03/01/2018 00:08

Is there a class difference as well as a regional one at play here? Unusually polarised responses

Well I suppose if you have a new build/ new renovation to show at the very least you are successful working- class and above , but no, not a class thing.

The offending woman was Irish- is this acceptable in NI and RoI

Bluntness100 · 03/01/2018 00:08

The thing about the wee tour is if someone has a new house, you ask for a tour on first visit, it's the hosts chance to show off and the guest has to say ooh and ah and how gorgeous it is,. It's social gravy, making rhe host feel good and showing an interest, it's not really because you're gagging to see their bedroom, Grin

Swipe left for the next trending thread