I asked my guest to leave my home.

[bubblesdrew]

We built a house a couple of fields away from some neighbours.

I met the husband at the local shop a couple of months after we got settled & after some chat asked if him and his wife would like to join us, friends & family for a New Years Eve dinner.

His wife and himself arrived that night and they were initially great. During conversation she asked for a tour of the house and I said no (not in a rude way). 20 minutes later she said again that she would like a tour of the house and again I said no. Then a THIRD time she asked and at that point my husband stepped in and said that there wouldn't be a tour.

She used the bathroom numerous times in the night which is located under the stairs. My niece was in our room at the top of the stairs past the closet which eventually leads into the master bedroom.

This woman had climbed the stairs later in the night when she asked to be excused for the bathroom went through my closet and into the master bedroom. My niece flew down and told my husband who marched upstairs and quietly asked her to leave. She claimed she was lost but, she had used the bottom bathroom all night!!
Should I have given her a tour or was she being completely unreasonable?

I mean, if we are talking rudeness, ejecting your guests like that is pretty much the height of rudeness

I think she got her husband to do the heavy lifting though.

If memory serves me, he was tres délicat.

You are a complete nut job.

You are a complete nut job.

You’ll need to be a bit more specific, @Bobson.

Bluntness

You really should take a chill pill it’s a funny thread. Go check your en suite

I mean, if we are talking rudeness, ejecting your guests like that is pretty much the height of rudeness.

Yeah this does take the prize of the night for astonishing rudeness.

Which has the virtue of far outweighing the rudeness of repeatedly asking for a showing despite the awkward refusals and the zipping up the stairs.

you are a complete nut job

Who specifically? All of us. Agree

I've got a rundown old farmhouse which has suffered from burst pipes this winter. Believe me when it's been renovated I'll be dragging everyone round for a wee tour. Even people who don't want to see it.

She was wrong to do what she did and you were right to ask her to leave.

However, I do have to ask what you were thinking by not offering a tour of the new house you have built to your neighbours when inviting them over for dinner. Of course they have no reason to expect a tour, but I can't blame them for thinking you might want to show off your new house and being a bit curious.

As a result you've made things very awkward with your neighbours, oh well.

and you were right to ask her to leave

Maybe the guest was searching for something. A computer disk, or a phone, or a memory stick.

That's why I have a safe.

Can't trust these bloody guests. I had that Sandra Bullock in the back of the cab once.

Interior Design magazines must be like a copy of Razzle to some on this thread

Bwahahahaha

@PaxUniversalis

oh yes of course, if I had a new house and only part of it was liveable I wouldn't show anyone (except my mum maybe or anyone who had an insight into renovation issues!) until it was all done. Especially if it had problems or might be slightly unsafe etc. In the situation you described I wouldn't be showing people upstairs.

I'm nosey so I'd ask for a tour!
But once I've been told "no" I'd not ask again and assume you had some fabulously naughty stuff upstairs or it was totally filthy!
YANBU and well done for saying no. It's your home/ your rules! Lol!

I personally have explained it a couple of times, that it's social nicety when your friend invites you to their new home, they show you round and you say how fab it is

This wasnt a friend !!!
This was someone op just met and had invited to dinner to get to know them.
You do not invite someone you just met to look around your bedrooms.

Close friends and family is perfectly normal to show them round.
Virtual strangers no!!

What on earth is rude and weird and socially inept in that scenario? My house isnt on geand designs its not up for public scrutiny. Its my personal space. There is nothing in my bedrooms that remotely concerns anyone else.

It doesnt mean you are over anxious. Nor socially backward nor a bad host nor that you are clearly unsociable in every aspect of your life. What absolute nonsense.

I decide who goes in my bedroom not some person i hardly know nor a bunch of people on the internet slagging anyone off who doesnt agree with them.

If I like someone enough to invite them to my house I don’t care if they see all of it. Not because it’s showy or just been renovated as neither of those is the case. I leave all of the bedroom doors open during the day to air them so you need only go up to the loo to see in them anyway.

If a friend has recently moved or renovated I love having a tour of the house and all my friends are the same. Gives me ideas of what I could do if I could ever afford it! And I’m from the south of England so definitely not Scottish.

razzle snd interior design

My god this thread is s midsomer murder plot.

Whose in the book club? Or the choir?

She was rude and clearly plain nosey to ask. Your response in just saying "no" was also rude - you could have made up a reason like kids asleep / not having tidied up. Given that you invited them over to make friends, a simple "no" would not have shown you in a particularly friendly light.
Having said that, she had no business going snooping. I wouldn't have kicked her out as such, but certainly wouldn't invite her round in future. I think you were both being a bit U.

But why should the Op HAVE to give an explanation?? If she was asked once and said no (in a non - confrontational way), then asked again & denied again, surely it's incredibly rude to ask a 3rd time AND sneak off if denied again?

I may have made a joke when replying the 3rd time, along the lines of "you're a persistent one, aren't you!!" and if I'd caught her upstairs nosing anyway, I sure as hell would have thrown her out!!

I might not have been as discreet as the Op though. . . Her house, her choice! She extended an offer of friendship & had it thrown in her face by repeatedly asking & don't it any way.

But why should the Op HAVE to give an explanation??

She doesn’t have to do or say anything... It’s just rather abrupt and rude to respond to a request with a curt ‘no’. I’m amazed at the lack of social skills many seem to have on MN!

Surely if asked, you’d explain why not - untidyness would be an easy and obvious one.

I have the exact opposite problem...

How do you politely declined an invitation to look around someone's house when you pop around / there for a meal?

I just find it awkward shit chat to be forced around someone's house (unless it's a really cool interesting place, and then I'd enjoy it!)

All the fakeness...
"oooh this is nice.
Wow what a big closet"

I've never declined before... but would love to hear a polite decline for next time if you have any ideas???

A straight "no, thank you" would seem rude I think

It’s just rather abrupt and rude to respond to a request with a curt ‘no’.

There's no suggestion that she did. It's perfectly possible to say no to that sort of request politely without giving excuses; and why should you have to? "No, sorry, I'd prefer not to" is a perfectly adequate and polite answer.

Well said Willow2017!
I absolutely agree!

But she didn't say "No, sorry I'd prefer not to". She just said "No.".

When a host offers me a tour ive turned it down politely. I won't indulge these show offs.
But i have asked for a tour when it's been a 17th century/barn conversion or new build or something unusual.. host is happy to oblige but always modest while being proud of their project. And i have always complimented them on their great taste.
I have no interest in your bog standard 3 bedroom semi with downstairs loo - i want to see something amazing and i'm hoping the new build is gonna be like that - which is why i asked for a tour in the first place.

The poster who says people do it so they can slag off the decor or copy it, is judging people by their own standards.
Some of us are genuinely happy for people who have created their dream home and want to embrace that.

Motoko The OP has explained more than once that she wasn't rude or blunt when she said no to her guest.

.... and she asked if I would do a tour and I laughed and said no. In no way blunt or rude.

I think it's easy enough to say a simple no but to be polite. I much much prefer it to someone lying to me with phony excuses.

Anyway, if you don't believe the OPs version I can't see why you would bother posting on her thread 🤷🏻‍♀️