I asked my guest to leave my home.

[bubblesdrew]

We built a house a couple of fields away from some neighbours.

I met the husband at the local shop a couple of months after we got settled & after some chat asked if him and his wife would like to join us, friends & family for a New Years Eve dinner.

His wife and himself arrived that night and they were initially great. During conversation she asked for a tour of the house and I said no (not in a rude way). 20 minutes later she said again that she would like a tour of the house and again I said no. Then a THIRD time she asked and at that point my husband stepped in and said that there wouldn't be a tour.

She used the bathroom numerous times in the night which is located under the stairs. My niece was in our room at the top of the stairs past the closet which eventually leads into the master bedroom.

This woman had climbed the stairs later in the night when she asked to be excused for the bathroom went through my closet and into the master bedroom. My niece flew down and told my husband who marched upstairs and quietly asked her to leave. She claimed she was lost but, she had used the bottom bathroom all night!!
Should I have given her a tour or was she being completely unreasonable?

proper we agree. My dm brought me a spotty dustpan and broom. Vom

hatsoff do you use it?

Not often.

If I were your neighbour I would have been very grateful for your lovely invitation and expected a tour of your newly built house. I wouldn’t think twice about jokingly asking for one. When you said no with no explanation I would have thought you just meant no not now, so might have asked a second time. After a second no with no explanation I might think you were a little odd but maybe hadn’t tidied upstairs. I would maybe hope for an invite back for a coffee and tour another time! I certainly wouldn’t have sneaked around upstairs that is rude but to be fair you do sound a bit odd inviting neighbours you don’t know then refusing a tour of your newly built house with no explanation.

Also if I had been you I wouldn’t have kicked them out as you will probably now be talked about as some overreacting weirdo by this couple to other people in the village - not the impression I would want to give to all the other neighbours. I would have made it clear it was not ok then said no more about it.

I bloody well will next time I have a dinner party though incase someone wanders up my back passage uninvited.

Tess

I think that’s a very good summing up of the situation from both sides to be fair.

This thread if nothing else, has been thoroughly entertaining

Couldn’t agree more Golden

It's threads like this that keep me hooked on mn
I feel like I'm learning lots, and have found my partner and I have very strong and different views on this
I grew up in the south west UK and I remember my parents would be shown around people's homes particularly if they were new or just renovated etc, I always ask to have a tour and would always offer one. I would not be so rude to throw out an invited neighbour as you have to live there and could see them all the time , soooo awkward , my OH would have kicked her rude, nosey arse out and would never do or ask for a tour
Who knew

My name is Whatthefuck and I offer guests to have a look round if it's their first time visiting my new house.
Have never felt the need to confess that before but now it is time to stand with my brethren.

But admittedly I don't invite strangers for tea.

You were not rude at all.

I'm from the north. It's always been usual for someone with a new house to offer a brief tour. Note: tour means a brisk walk around the property, popping heads into each room just to point out/admire paint colours or curtains. Also to get your bearings in the house so you know where the bathroom is as a guest. Bedroom viewings not expected, and only a quick peek if so. Definitely no rummaging through belongings or knicker drawers. That's not what a tour is. It's just saying 'look at the lovely original fireplaces' or whatever.

I'm interested in houses (especially owned and decorated houses because I'm a lowly renter) and in house history so even a bog standard Victorian terrace is nice to see. I've lived in soulless box flats for years. However I'd never ask for a tour myself, just accept if someone offered.

I don't think it should be customary if someone isn't comfortable with it, but if I had a nice newly decorated home I'd be glad to show most of it. I think at a housewarming for example, guests might expect to look at the new house. Also someone hoping for a tour isn't necessarily being nosey or sinister. They might be renovating themselves and would like to know where you got those nice kitchen units.

and it's devine!!!!!! Is that Sidney Devine?

’Wander Woman’

Yep Wander Woman hands down the highlight of this thread

@katzensocken
It's always been usual for someone with a new house to offer a brief tour. Note: tour means a brisk walk around the property, popping heads into each room just to point out/admire paint colours or curtains.

I presume you're referring to a new house (new build or not) that has been freshly decorated and fully furnished. Yes, that would be OK. In an ideal world.

Just over 10 years ago DH and I bought a lovely old cottage that was in a terrible state. Unfortunately we didn't have the budget to do up the house all at once so we had to prioritise. Over the years we had the whole house rewired, foundations put in, the inglenook rebuilt, rotten beams replaced, retiled the downstairs and much more. A lot of additional problems were surfaced during all this work so this meant spending more money than planned.

We ran out of money for renovation work so the upstairs is still in need of a serious update. The decor doesn't look nice, it looks dated and tatty (thanks to the bad DIY and poor maintenance by the previous owners).

Would you expect us to show guests the upstairs? I have never shown anyone our bedrooms expect tradesmen.
Guests are welcome to look around the downstairs areas though.

Ok, hats off and golden, we get your point. If and when you buy a new house, you will not permit your friends or family to see round it and would be offended if they asked of showed an interest.

We get it ok. I'm sure any social circle you have gets it too. You feel it would be only due to nosiness or showing off you'd want to show your new home and will not be convinced otherwise.

For others it's different and they don't feel like you. I think you're fairly safe that no one will ask to see your home. You don't need to worry.

Would you expect us to show guests the upstairs? I have never shown anyone our bedrooms expect tradesmen.

Pax, the more you talk down the state of your house the more you’re selling it to the vintage, period, clutter loving types among us.

@ButchyRestingFace

Hahaha, yes I am that type too

Interior Design magazines must be like a copy of Razzle to some on this thread.

I think more than anything the thing I find most shocking is that you just said "No."

No qualifier - " No, I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable doing that."

"No, apologies but I'm a very private person and don't feel comfortable showing people my private spaces."

"No, I'm so sorry but the upstairs is a complete mess/DD is sleeping and she's a light sleeper / we've got rats in the eaves.. " or any other variation.

Just "No."

How did you manage for chit chat at your dinner party with people that you barely knew when you are happy to shut down avenues of conversation that robustly??

Interior Design magazines must be like a copy of Razzle to some on this thread.

😂

I've not heard talk of Razzle for years!

I would imagine the other guests were worried about getting turfed out into the night on NYE if they said the wrong thing!

I mean, if we are talking rudeness, ejecting your guests like that is pretty much the height of rudeness.

I mean, if we are talking rudeness, ejecting your guests like that is pretty much the height of rudeness.

That’s what I thought. Must’ve made for a lovely atmosphere.