I asked my guest to leave my home.

[bubblesdrew]

We built a house a couple of fields away from some neighbours.

I met the husband at the local shop a couple of months after we got settled & after some chat asked if him and his wife would like to join us, friends & family for a New Years Eve dinner.

His wife and himself arrived that night and they were initially great. During conversation she asked for a tour of the house and I said no (not in a rude way). 20 minutes later she said again that she would like a tour of the house and again I said no. Then a THIRD time she asked and at that point my husband stepped in and said that there wouldn't be a tour.

She used the bathroom numerous times in the night which is located under the stairs. My niece was in our room at the top of the stairs past the closet which eventually leads into the master bedroom.

This woman had climbed the stairs later in the night when she asked to be excused for the bathroom went through my closet and into the master bedroom. My niece flew down and told my husband who marched upstairs and quietly asked her to leave. She claimed she was lost but, she had used the bottom bathroom all night!!
Should I have given her a tour or was she being completely unreasonable?

Why invite someone in if you weren't going to give them a tour
You're mum or best friend, yes of course - but surely not a new neighbour or a mum from the school run or something?

I don't get tours. Why do people want to tour your house? DS's GF parents visited last year and did their own tour (without asking). They literally walked from room to room inspecting everything like they were in a museum. Oddest thing I ever saw. Seriously considered printing them out an information pack. I hope they enjoyed the floordrobe in my bedroom - it's most impressive.... Then when I went to pick DS up from their house a few weeks later they insisted on inviting me in and conducting their own guided tour of their place. I didn't want a sodding tour. I don't care what other people's bedroom furniture looks like... Ooh... You keep your sanitary protection in little baskets on the shelf in the bathroom - lovely.. Oh I like what you did with the laundry cupboard.....

Totally weird. Don't get it at all.

It's a bit like the "Do you want to hold the baby?" question when people come to visit a newborn.. Some of my visitors eagerly wanted a cuddle, others expressed no interest in wanting to pick her up. Both responses were fine. if it hadn't been convenient for some reason I'd have explained why, kindly and politely. The flat "No" response to a guest wanting a tour isn't fine. A reason why it wasn't OK at the time would have been much more acceptable, and friendly, imo.

It doesn’t proper because the real reason is to show off and one up man ship. But no one will own it.

I find it hard to believe they were actually asked to leave anyway.
If I found someone I didn't know well going through my bedroom, after already making me uncomfortable by asking repeatedly and being told no, I would definitely say "I think it's time you leave". Surely it would be more odd to just carry on with them as if it is all fine and normal?

Implies a level of intimacy ? That is so odd to me. Being invited for dinner at someone's house is friendly but it's not intimate, I used to go round for tea at friend's houses at school but even as a child I didn't expect to have full roaming rights to the house

If you invite someone for a dinner party, that's what it is, it's not a house tour, in any circumstances.

Perhaps given that all it takes for an intimate relationship is to be invited to dinner surely they wouldn't mind if I discussed the guests marriage at the dinner table, even if they refused - after all, we are all here at dinner so our intimacy is implied!

This is a booody funny thread though.

I am off to a dinner party next week. Don’t know the host that well as she’s dhs work colleague. Can’t wait to be intimate and ask to see her bog.

Put it another way - you and a work colleague had just been given your paychecks, you'd discussed with them getting your paycheck that day and even invited them to coffee to talk about work. Whilst at coffee they asked to see your paycheck three times, you laughing it off and declining each time. You get up to get the colleague another coffee and whilst you're gone they open the paycheck anyway, without your permission. Would you think this rude?

Rtft hatsoff I absolutely have explained why.

I'm also baffled that people think that someone you like enough to invite around for dinner would want to nose in your drawers and slag off your wallpaper choice to their friends. What an unpleasant world you must live in to jump to that kind of conclusion (Inviting total randoms for NYE excepted).

Nahhatsoff, my house it nothing to show off about at all but friends who haven't seen it before ask to have a look round.
You're talking crap.

Pay checks and house tours are not the same thing, not the best analogy.

frogsoup sooooo what reason to you expect or want to see every room of a near-strangers house? OP was looking to be friendly and make new acquaintances but they were not friends yet, just dinner guests.

No one of the tours tribe has actually said why they do it unless you have s wonderful castle or live in a windmill?

Aren't they just nonplussed that people don't understand something so obvious? Does it really need explanation?

If you're interested in people, you're interested in where they live, how they've done their house.

I always like to see how people have designed their houses, the layout, the architectural features, the clever pieces of design, the colours, the fabrics, the paintings, the objects - from family or from travels etc.

If they've just had work done, whether the whole house, extension, or just a bathroom or kitchen - they've spent time and money planning it - so a) they may like to show you and b) you might like to see what they've been working on.

We've just had a kitchen and extension done - 4 months of bloody hard slog preceded by 4 months of planning. Some features I used in ours were inspired by nifty design from friends' kitchens - which I know about purely because they showed them to me.

Every person who visited over Christmas wanted to see the new kitchen.

Hatsoff again, what kind of relationship do you have with your friends?! If someone I know has just done a big renovation, I want to see it because I'm interested!!! Because I'm happy for their good fortune and want to see the results of all their efforts. Ditto, if I've renovated myself, yes to showing off, I'll own that, but one-upmanship?! I am secure in myself, have nice friends and a nice life and no desire to enter into bizarre superiority contests with them.

ProperLavs poor analogy or not they're both private, and not other people's business. You also have a right to privacy and not show anyone without being considered rude or uptight. In all honesty, the posters calling OP rude sound like the kind of people who ask you really personal questions when you've only known them for five minutes.

*Every person who visited over Christmas wanted to see the new kitchen.

@NinonDeLenclos I bet! I love seeing other peoples new kitchens! I can have kitchen property porn thoughts :-)

No one of the tours tribe has actually said why they do it unless you have s wonderful castle or live in a windmill?

If you actually need to be told that some people are interested in their friends and families lives and homes, that is rather sad for you.

Goldenbrows, as I've already said once on this thread, for the same reason Grand Designs has been running for 20 years. I like architecture, interior decoration and I like seeing what people have done with spaces in a new house/renovation. I don't look at or care about what's on the bedside tables!!!

No one of the tours tribe has actually said why they do it unless you have s wonderful castle or live in a windmill?

Well, the circumstances in which I would offer, or be offered a tour, would be quite specific, in that it would be a new house/newly renovated house. So things would generally be sitting spick and span having just been built/renovated, or a bit chaotic having just moved in. In either case, the spaces aren't really 'personal' yet, so there is no huge breach of privacy. You wouldn't actually go into rooms anyway. Unless eg there was a spectacular view from a particular window and you were saying to your friends 'this is one of the things we loved about the house'.

I don't think it's unusual to be interested in your friends home? When I like someone, I'm interested in hearing what they like. I don't want a half hour lecture on where the sockets are in each room, but I'm always interested in 30 seconds of ' we're thinking of putting bunks in here because the girls like to share a room' and 'the bathroom is horrible at the moment, but eventually we're planning on moving it into the smallest bedroom and building a new bedroom in the attic'.

I wouldn't invite a stranger round in the first place, so having a stranger tour my house would never happen.

Hatsoff. We get it. You don't get it. How many more times do you want to say you don't get it?

Really missing the point again, noone is talking about friends and family! The discussion is about people you barely know wanting to poke around because they're into Grand Designs - and if you don't let them, heaven forbid! You must be a real uptight partypooper

No one of the tours tribe has actually said why they do it unless you have s wonderful castle or live in a windmill?

They have - several times.

I'm really interested in cooking, I just want to see exactly what you put in the food by seeing step by step what you put in by going through the cupboard and your garbage, it's purely interest! Masterchef is on TV after all rights?