I asked my guest to leave my home.

[bubblesdrew]

We built a house a couple of fields away from some neighbours.

I met the husband at the local shop a couple of months after we got settled & after some chat asked if him and his wife would like to join us, friends & family for a New Years Eve dinner.

His wife and himself arrived that night and they were initially great. During conversation she asked for a tour of the house and I said no (not in a rude way). 20 minutes later she said again that she would like a tour of the house and again I said no. Then a THIRD time she asked and at that point my husband stepped in and said that there wouldn't be a tour.

She used the bathroom numerous times in the night which is located under the stairs. My niece was in our room at the top of the stairs past the closet which eventually leads into the master bedroom.

This woman had climbed the stairs later in the night when she asked to be excused for the bathroom went through my closet and into the master bedroom. My niece flew down and told my husband who marched upstairs and quietly asked her to leave. She claimed she was lost but, she had used the bottom bathroom all night!!
Should I have given her a tour or was she being completely unreasonable?

Do you all live in fantastic castles or dream homes? If not what’s the attraction? Why would you all want to see each other’s bathrooms or bedrooms? Why?

This is what I can’t get my head around

It’s just odd, unless of course you enjoy having a bunch of sycophants gushing praise at your decorating choices in which case it just comes across as a bit needy.

wombling I close the doors not lock them . I have reasons for doing so. One year BIL decided to instigate a game of hide n seek with the then young chn and proceeded to get in our bed and fell asleep! One of his chn then hid in our dirty laundry basket. Too much for me, I must be a prude if you think that is ok.

I imagine you will be the laughing stock of the community

Jesus wept, only just read this gem.

I actually in equal measure feel pity and utter contempt for any ‘community’ who have so little going on in their lives that the issue of a non tour of a house by a guest reduces the owner to a ‘laughing stock’

No one gushes much praise at my humble abode, they just want to know what my house is like.

I don't get this weird tour thing. I love hosting and people are totally welcome in my kitchen and living room. But why would anyone want to nose around my bedrooms and upstairs bathroom. No! Private areas.

t’s just odd, unless of course you enjoy having a bunch of sycophants gushing praise at your decorating choices in which case it just comes across as a bit needy.

This. Needy and showy.

@womblinglove
As to the poster who locks the doors - jesus wept - what kind of friends do you have?????

A friend of my parents' had people round one evening. They were good friends of my parents' friend. People she had known well for many years so she trusted them. These people were seated in the living room downstairs. My parents' friend (the host) had to get something from upstairs. When she came back downstairs and walked into the living room she found her guests (her friends) snooping through some private paperwork in a drawer!
Some people have no shame.

This. Needy and showy.

Except it has been explained - at length - that a tour of the house is simply customary for many people.

It’s something that I - and others - would do automatically, in much the same way that I would offer guests some light refreshments.

Do keep all the insults coming though.

When she came back downstairs and walked into the living room she found her guests (her friends) snooping through some private paperwork in a drawer!

Don’t worry, Pax.

You can trust all the MNetters coming round for the tour.

Its clearly a cultural thing, but if a new neighbour came round to my house for the first time and repeatedly asked to look in my bedroom I'd say no too! I'd find it really odd.

Butchy

Would you take offence if someone declined your offer to tour your house?

it's all about the relationship between the homeowner and the guest. As i said before, a close family member or friend that shares an interest in home decor, yes if invited to look round. A stranger, nosey meddler who asks to look round, NO!

Would you take offence if someone declined your offer to tour your house?

Nope. I’d make a mental note that it was a bit unusual but I would have done my duty.

"I happen to know a few people that could be classed as white British 'upper middle class' in the 80 years+ age bracket. They would be horrified if someone asked for a tour of their homes!"

Yes, this exactly, but including quite a few under-80s as well!

if a new neighbour came round to my house for the first time and repeatedly asked to look in my bedroom I'd say no too! I'd find it really odd

Nobody asks to have “a look in someone’s bedroom”, far less rooting through the wardrobes. That would be weird.

Numerous posters, myself included, have explained the way it goes down.

The people shreiking about rudeness on here sound like some of the rudest people one could ever hope not to meet.

And no matter how many times it is repeated on here, NO is almost never a complete sentence, unless you are unspeakably rude.

Even if OP had said NO in a sentence, so you think that would have put the neighbour off? she continued to request a tour even though OP was blunt in your opinion.

Pax it's like peeling an onion, isn't it? All those layers of history!

@pax your house sounds so beautiful. I am dying for some cosy touches to ours! I love the idea of a gorgeous wallpaper.

Nobody asks to have “a look in someone’s bedroom”.

No, but it would seem from quite a few replies on here that the bedroom(s) would be expected to be part of any tour along with the rest of the house.

Even if I lived in an area where it was a culturally expected practice I would find it utterly tedious having to get my house in ‘show home’ condition every time you had guests pop round for a cup of tea or are people happy to show off their bedrooms with their pants and socks on the bed or their teenage sons wank tissues on the floor.

@bubblesdrew
I am dying for some cosy touches to ours! I love the idea of a gorgeous wallpaper.

What style is your house?

FFS Pax - how bloody intrusive, needy and downright RUDE!!!

Her house is for HER AND HER HUSBAND ALONE - alone!! Do you hear???

No, but it would seem from quite a few replies on here that the bedroom(s) would be expected to be part of any tour along with the rest of the house

Oh yes, I would throw open the bedroom door with a cheery ”And here’s the bedroom”, giving the guest a few moments to scan the room.

Door closed, onto next room.

No wardrobe poking, drawer opening, toilet roll discussing and definitely no cleaning.

So ingrained is the house tour in my psyche, that I even gave callers who came to express sympathy after my mum died the tour.

Wouldn’t have occured to me not to.

She was rude asking a second and a third time for a tour, she should have left it at that when you declined the first time. However it was a bit abrupt if you, saying no to a tour. They are going to be yiur neighbours for a long time, yiu want to be on good terms with them.

If a friend had just moved and I was visiting for the first time it's seems natural that the new house would be their main topic of conversation and just as natural for them to want to show me this place that they've spent hundreds of thousands of pounds buying.

Pax your house sounds fab. Our new place is G2 listed 17th century too - I might put my name down for your tour to get some top tips!