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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate the dog

557 replies

gta · 02/01/2018 11:38

We have a 10 week old puppy . I am 8 weeks pregnant with the most horrendous morning day and night sickness and my sense of smell through the roof.
The dog is NOT house trained and seems to be going backwards rather than improving. He is shitting and pissing EVERYWHERE. Pooing in his own bed. Eating his own poo. Vomiting his poo up. Weeing in his own bed. His bed is washed multiple times a day, new beds have been bought.
I can't cope . I am crying everyday with it all it's disgusting. I dread waking up in the morning feeling sick, being sick and then cleaning up all the piss and shit he's left all over the kitchen floor . I can't stand him being near me . I'm at a complete loss st what to do but I'm absolutely miserable and hate living in my house with him. Please help Sad

OP posts:
PricillaQueenOfTheDesert · 02/01/2018 12:57

You had the pup far too young, but that’s done is done. Get some puppy pads and start training him. There are lots of useful tutorials on YouTube. Please don’t be one of those people who gets a pup for Christmas and throws it out first thing in the new year..

Jaxhog · 02/01/2018 12:58

And if DP won't let you take him back, then HE should man up and resolve the problem himself. But I can't help thinking the poor puppy needs a better home.

RhiannonOHara · 02/01/2018 12:58

My DP won't let me take him back

Er, what?

ilovesooty · 02/01/2018 12:58

Let's just hope that if the puppy has to go the OP and partner don't try to recoup what they spent on it by putting it up for sale.

Eryri1981 · 02/01/2018 12:59

You are going to end up with a dog with huge behavioural issues of you don't rehome.

The biggest reason for dog euthanasia under the age of 2 is due to behavioural problems resulting from inadequate early socialisation. 8 to 12 weeks is the key window for this socialisation, your puppy needs to be exposed to all sorts of situations, dogs, people and stimuli over the next few weeks. If you miss this window you will never get another chance. With HG you can not possibly provide a proper socialisation period.

If your husband does not see sense you will end up having a unmanageable possibly dangerous dog.

NoSquirrels · 02/01/2018 12:59

Your partner needs to research and get a behaviourist round to your house ASAP, it will be manageable with a plan but this situation isn't fair on either of you

With respect, crashbang, the puppy doesn’t need a behaviourist - it’s behaviour is typical for a puppy. The adults do need a plan (confine pup, train pup) but if OP has to implement it whilst suffering from HG, with an existing child, and then whilst heavily pregnant/with a newborn, it’s not “manageable” if OP can’t cope & doesnt want to.

Her DP fucked up. He needs to own that mistake, let go of pride & let the puppy go. ASAP.

ShatnersWig · 02/01/2018 12:59

Your DP won't take this "expensive" puppy back?

You're asking us for help in your OP. The help is quite easy:

a) tell your DP to fuck off
b) rehome the poor puppy

cathycake · 02/01/2018 12:59

Ive only read your 1st post so please excuse me I'm repeating anything anybody else has said.
I would personally rehome asap - yes you can train but by the sounds of it it's making you angry so your not in the right frame of mind to go through the training. I've always had dogs and training is only easy if you love that little ball of fluff unconditionally that's the force behind the training. In all honestly reading your post it sound a sad though it's not something you want to do which means the piles of poo will just get bigger. I wouldn't normally encourage removing but in your case it would be a definite
The puppy isn't going to be happy if your not and keeping him is keeping him away from someone who has the patience to do it properly. I don't mean to sound harsh with you at all but the sooner he is rehoused the better for the puppy and for you too. Get to the vets to put an advert up or ring a dogs home for advise. They will help you x good luck and hopefully you can start enjoying your pregnancy x

Rebeccaslicker · 02/01/2018 12:59

This post just gets worse and worse. That poor puppy must be so scared and lonely and confused. It's only a baby and it doesn't know anything.

The OP may well be feeling dreadful but she understands why. The dog doesn't and can't. it's so infuriating that people can put helpless animals into this situation. Between a greedy breeder and a thoughtless person who bought a puppy as a surprise, this dog could be fucked up for life if the OP doesn't step up or find it a proper loving home Angry

GinIsIn · 02/01/2018 12:59

You are not the right home for this puppy. Or indeed any pet. Take the puppy to a breed specific rescue. Do NOT take it back as if you’ve had it that long and it’s only 10 weeks it’s clearly not from a reputable breeder.

Miscarriage is horrific but his is a living creature, not a band aid and you should never have got a puppy in the first place.

The least you can do is do the right thing now and give the dog a chance at a home where it will be loved as it deserves.

Glumglowworm · 02/01/2018 13:00

You absolutely need to get him rehomed now, while he’s still young enough for it to be easy to do so, and to be easily trained by someone who will put the work in

If you keep him but can’t or won’t put the effort in (you and DP), in seven months time you’ll have a newborn and boisterous teenage dog that will be much harder to rehome and much harder to train at that point.

ilovesooty · 02/01/2018 13:00

Oh, just seen that the DP won't let her take the puppy back. WTAF?

Frequency · 02/01/2018 13:01

You need to contact the relevant breed rescue and have this puppy out of your home asap. If it's messing in its bed, it's not getting right attention or care, which at this stage in its life could have lifelong implications on it's behaviour and temperament. Be honest with the rescue about how long the puppy is being left in its crate, what vet care it has had and how you are coping and ask for them to deal with it sooner rather than later.

Do not return this puppy to its 'breeder'. No reputable breeder would breed pups so close to xmas or let them go so young. If the pup goes back there, it will be sold again, possibly to yet another unsuitable home.

Mishappening · 02/01/2018 13:01

Just rehome him. You cannot possibly manage with all this. And he will still be pretty boisterous when you have a new baby to contend with.

He must go.

passmethewineplease · 02/01/2018 13:02

It's not his decision. He's not the one looking after pup. Tell him sort it out. What breed is the pup? There are breed specific rescues. If you got the dog at Christmas and at 7 weeks I wouldn't be taking it back to that breeder.

Mishappening · 02/01/2018 13:02

Ignore your DH - just get on with it.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 02/01/2018 13:02

OP I'm sorry you're feeling so ill. Whilst your H is adamant he won't return the puppy I think he should at least understand how you're feeling and that it's not HIM at home doing the training.

If he really won't return it then I guess you will have to train him properly.

Take him outside to toilet after every meal, every time he wakes up, every time he's been sat cuddling you, every time he's been playing. Use the same spot in the garden and when he's weeing or pooing use a phrase like " be quick " or " be clean " he will soon cotton on what this means and will go on demand. But it takes time.

Get a crate. This will help you both to have some time out.

He's only a tiny baby and needs love and reassurance and I know that you don't feel like giving him this right now but long term it will help him.

Get your H to sort out some puppy classes.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 02/01/2018 13:03

My DP won't let me take him back
Your DP isn't the one with horrendous morning sickness that is dealling with an untrained puppy.

Did DP do ANY training while off work?

BiteyShark · 02/01/2018 13:03

OP why does you DH say you cannot rehome him. What are his reasons?

BakedBeans47 · 02/01/2018 13:04

My DP won't let me take him back

Either ignore him and do it anyway or tell him he’ll need to take holidays until it’s sorted.

Fucker.

Pumperthepumper · 02/01/2018 13:04

You need to ignore your partner and get the puppy rehomed - what breed is it? There’s probably a breed-specific rescue you can contact, and - sorry to say this - you need to do it ASAP while it’s still a cute puppy so it has a better chance of being rehomed quickly.

I’m really sorry your pregnancy is so hard, I hope you get some relief from it soon Flowers

HuskyMcClusky · 02/01/2018 13:04

Well, your DH is a raging dickhead, then.

Just take the puppy back yourself. What’s he going to do once it’s a done deed?

TheVanguardSix · 02/01/2018 13:04

Sounds like you and pup will have to tough it out since you have no say/voice. Wow. Get a voice in this relationship OP.

Anyway, if you can remember that your pup is just that: a baby taken too soon from its mother for whom it's pining, compassion and patience might see you through. It must see you through. Just remember what this little guy's situation is and don't punish him for your poor judgement.

Can DS help? How old is he?

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 02/01/2018 13:05

Years ago my Mum adopted the loveliest natured dog you could ever meet. She loved everyone, was loyal and affectionate. She also had a lot of issues that had come about because nobody bothered with her and, by the time my Mum had her, she was an adult dog and it was bloody hard work. Mum persevered with her, but some of the issues were there until she died.

Please don’t let this happen to the poor puppy OP. It sounds as though you’ve got a lot more going on than just problems with the dog, but none of it is his fault.

Crashbangwhatausername · 02/01/2018 13:05

NoSquirrels if the op is being forced into this situation then someone showing her how to deal with it might help, dogs aren't easy, puppies are a nightmare especially when you haven't got the energy to deal with them but I made the suggestion so OP can try and get a plan in place as a first time owner who is suffering. Only because I'm projecting from my own situation when my dog was ruining my life Grin but I do agree, it's terrible timing I just hope that there's a chance the situation might work out

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