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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate the dog

557 replies

gta · 02/01/2018 11:38

We have a 10 week old puppy . I am 8 weeks pregnant with the most horrendous morning day and night sickness and my sense of smell through the roof.
The dog is NOT house trained and seems to be going backwards rather than improving. He is shitting and pissing EVERYWHERE. Pooing in his own bed. Eating his own poo. Vomiting his poo up. Weeing in his own bed. His bed is washed multiple times a day, new beds have been bought.
I can't cope . I am crying everyday with it all it's disgusting. I dread waking up in the morning feeling sick, being sick and then cleaning up all the piss and shit he's left all over the kitchen floor . I can't stand him being near me . I'm at a complete loss st what to do but I'm absolutely miserable and hate living in my house with him. Please help Sad

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 02/01/2018 12:48

MissDuke How about reading the full thread?

BarbarianMum · 02/01/2018 12:48

Everyone is a first time owner at some point and people rarely tell you that a pup is like a baby, harder in some ways, easier in others.

Actually, it is pretty much impossible to do any research whatsoever into getting a dog and miss this little gem. It is pretty much the second paragraph in any book or guide to the subject, the first starting out "there are lots of things to think about before buying a dog."

Motherbear26 · 02/01/2018 12:49

No judgement at all from me but it’s clear you can’t cope with the demands of having a dog. I can completely sympathise as house training a puppy is hard work even when not pregnant and suffering from extreme sickness so this is not going to work for you at the minute. I was going to say return the puppy to the breeder but no reputable breeder would have sold a dog so young so I think it might be worth getting in touch with a local shelter for advice.

Please act now, don’t wait. There is a much higher chance of the dog finding its forever home now while it’s still a cute puppy. This shouldn’t be the case but it is. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

Saucery · 02/01/2018 12:50

Yes, we know you are miserable and unhappy and suffering terrible morning sickness.

So what are you going to do? You made a mistake and you bought a puppy too young to be taken from its mother.

You can either carry on feeling sorry for yourself and just repeating woe is me! on an online forum or you can pull yourself together and rehome your puppy.

PerfectlyDone · 02/01/2018 12:50

I assume you knew you were expecting when you got the pup?
And you have considered how you will cope with a dog who will be displaying 'teenager' behaviour when you are post-natal and looking after a new baby?

Seriously, find a way to rehome the dog and do all of you a favour.

PerfectlyDone · 02/01/2018 12:50

What Saucerty said.

Go take some action.

PerfectlyDone · 02/01/2018 12:51

Saucery - sorry

Original poster
gta · 02/01/2018 12:51

Missduke I had a miscarriage and my DP got him as a surprise. I've fallen pregnant relatively soon after despite being on the pill. Was in hospital for fluid just before Christmas and they have give me sticks to wee on to make sure I don't get dehydrated again.

I wish it wasn't like this but it is.

OP posts:
Eryri1981 · 02/01/2018 12:52

I think people are being unreasonably harsh. HG is horrendous, I knew I might not feel great at all times in pregnancy however it never occurred to me that I would feel nauseous ( on the edge of vomiting) for every waking moment for months on end. Op can not reasonably have expected this either.

Unless you've been there it is hard to imagine, and op current mindset is probably not a reflection of her normal self. HG is all consuming.

Op just needs to make the right decision now and quickly, which is to re-home the puppy, without feeling worse about the situation than she probably already does.

Lovely333 · 02/01/2018 12:52

I actually think puppies are harder than babies, It sounds like its pooing an awful lot could it be the food? What are u doing in regards to training it?

NoSquirrels · 02/01/2018 12:52

Have you talked to your DP about the dog?

sparechange · 02/01/2018 12:53

husky
It is very easy (and totally advisable) to confine a puppy to an area of the house. Preferably an easy-to-clean one

There is no reason AT ALL for it to be pissing all over the house, nor for it to be going on any furniture
The dog's bed should be a few bits of easily-washed vet bed

But that is all irrelevant. The OP needs to rehome this dog to a responsible rescue or breed specialist ASAP. And that probably means taking the financial hit of giving it up

I am struggling to believe this pup came from a responsible breeder - breeding a litter to be ready around Christmas AND letting the puppy go at 7 weeks are massive red flags for a puppy farming operation so OP shouldn't be returning the dog there, even with the promise of a refund

Crashbangwhatausername · 02/01/2018 12:53

I hated my dog for a few months when we got him. I had had dogs before but he was unusually awful, no need to go into all the details but there were times when I very nearly opened the front door and did speak to a rehoming centre who luckily had no space. When they called back a few days later I realised that no one in their right mind would take on such a difficult dog and he might have a lifetime of moving homes/be put down if no one could keep him. I was going to classes which didn't help and spoke to the breeder who was surprised but ultimately didn't seem to care and no one seemed to be able to help. Eventually we came across a behaviourist and he sorted almost all the problems immediately. I now have a beautifully trained adult dog who I wouldn't swap for the world but I was on my knees with him and having very young dc at the time. Get help, it will be worth it.

PerfectlyDone · 02/01/2018 12:53

Give your partner this thread to read.

This is not fair on you, or the puppy.

Gawd, do people not stop and think before they get a puppy as a surprise?!
What's wrong with a bunch of flowers??
Hmm

Original poster
gta · 02/01/2018 12:53

I didn't know I was pregnant again when the puppy came .
My DP won't let me take him back

OP posts:
Steeley113 · 02/01/2018 12:55

I’d speak to your DP seriously and say you cannot cope. If he is still insisting you keep him, you leave all of the mess for him!

Crashbangwhatausername · 02/01/2018 12:55

Your partner needs to research and get a behaviourist round to your house ASAP, it will be manageable with a plan but this situation isn't fair on either of you

NoSquirrels · 02/01/2018 12:56

My DP won't let me take him back

I suspected as much.

If he won’t be the main carer for the dog, he cannot insist you keep it.

The better option for everyone in this - you, the puppy, your DS and the unborn baby - is to responsibly rehome the dog.

Is your DP usually a controlling arse?

Saucery · 02/01/2018 12:56

Could be the food, could be his age, could be stress, could be eating his own poo (obviously not being supervised properly if this is the case) could be something like campylobacter ........ who knows. Certainly not OP, who has enough on her plate and needs to rehome before she damages this little guy.

PerfectlyDone · 02/01/2018 12:56

Look, this is a huge mess and as I said, I do feel sorry for you.
But you do need to do something, don't you?

Either train the dog, rehome/reliquish him, get your partner to take responsibility for a situation of his making.

Or continue being miserable and resentful towards a creature who really had no influence on the making of this situation.

Jaxhog · 02/01/2018 12:56

Poor little puppy. He's just a baby. Did you think he'd already be house trained? What on earth were you thinking? Baby animals might look cute, but need love, care and attention. Like human babies do.

Either get help to house train him or, probably better, take him back. Or find him a new home with someone who knows what they are doing. And NEVER get a puppy again.

PerfectlyDone · 02/01/2018 12:56

And I'd seriously letting your partner go too - arse

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 02/01/2018 12:57

What breed is he as he sounds more hard work than any puppy I've known!
I understand how you feel though but it was wrong to get him knowing you would be trying or a baby, you loved him etc at first as he was a distraction from your miscarriage by now reality is setting in!

It is your decision on rehoming the dog as you are the main carer for him with dp bring at work so it isn't fair he is leaving you to deal with it so it's not his decision!

Glumglowworm · 02/01/2018 12:57

You and DP are both fucking idiots

You never should’ve got a puppy that young, too young to leave it’s mother. And clearly a dodgy breader for selling it. If either of you had done the slightest bit of research you’d know that he was too young, you’d have realised the breader was a dick for selling such young puppies especially at Christmas time, and you would have realised that it takes time and effort to train a puppy.

If it was a decent breader you’d got him from I would say return the puppy to breader. Since the breader is a dick you should contact bread specific rescue, who will be able to rehome him relatively easily because he’s a puppy.

Then never ever get a dog again. Or any pet.

Saucery · 02/01/2018 12:57

Bollocks to that. If you’re with a man who ‘won’t let’ you do things then you have bigger problems than an untrained puppy.
Not puppy’s fault though.