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Original poster

To hate the dog

557 replies

gta · 02/01/2018 11:38

We have a 10 week old puppy . I am 8 weeks pregnant with the most horrendous morning day and night sickness and my sense of smell through the roof.
The dog is NOT house trained and seems to be going backwards rather than improving. He is shitting and pissing EVERYWHERE. Pooing in his own bed. Eating his own poo. Vomiting his poo up. Weeing in his own bed. His bed is washed multiple times a day, new beds have been bought.
I can't cope . I am crying everyday with it all it's disgusting. I dread waking up in the morning feeling sick, being sick and then cleaning up all the piss and shit he's left all over the kitchen floor . I can't stand him being near me . I'm at a complete loss st what to do but I'm absolutely miserable and hate living in my house with him. Please help Sad

OP posts:
fpurplea · 02/01/2018 13:31

is hard to train him because he does it all when we're out or in the night

How long is he left alone when you're both out? Frenchies are immensely sociable too, they're bred to be companion dogs. My heart is breaking for this poor pup. Please OP, do the right thing here.

TheVanguardSix · 02/01/2018 13:33

Lovely dogs, French bulldogs. Typically quite difficult to housetrain. Actually they aren't difficult but they need total guidance and encouragement. It's more intense teaching them to housetrain than some other breeds.

Is he home alone all day? Are you with him? You need to take him outside every half hour and teach him a potty command. You can research this. It's intense but he deserves training. Be the Alpha, OP. Praise the hell out of him when he goes outside. Find a designated area outside. Use a pee post if you want.

blueskypink · 02/01/2018 13:33

my DP got him as a surprise.

And there we have it. Fucking idiot.
Getting a dog should be a joint enterprise following a period of research and preparation. Not a present. It's a living creature fgs. And as for supporting backstreet breeders......

Poor poor dog. Acquired by a couple of fools and all you can do is hate it.

TheVanguardSix · 02/01/2018 13:36

It's too soon to leave him alone, FYI.

WeAllHaveWings · 02/01/2018 13:36

My DP won't let me take him back

Bollocks to that.

If your dp thinks he has the right to bring a puppy into you lives as a surprise without discussion, agreement and research then you have as much right to make sure the pup gets a good home with people who know how to, have the time and correct circumstances to care for it without seeking his approval.

Huskylover1 · 02/01/2018 13:37

Why on earth do people get dogs when they clearly haven't a clue about dogs?

Er, well, given that no-one is born with a knowledge about dogs everyone who owns a dog, has, at some point, been a first time owner. You read up on what's required and put the time in.

I actually look after dogs for a living. Lots of my customers are first time owners, and they are fantastic with their dogs.

The problem here, is that the circumstances are not right. Op isn't in the right place in her life, to own a puppy.

The dog can be re-homed.

And as for people saying "never get a dog again"....drama much? When Op's children are older, perhaps both in school, maybe that will be the right time. Her circs will be totally different and she won't have morning sickness. Total hysteria from some PP.

SoupDragon · 02/01/2018 13:38

Go to the puppy support thread in the dog subforum.

Only if you want to be ripped to pieces even more.

SomewhereInbetween1 · 02/01/2018 13:39

Have you had a dog before? Because it sounds like you got a puppy for Christmas having done no research and have been caught off guard that puppies take longer than just two weeks to train.

nigelschristmasham · 02/01/2018 13:40

I fell sorry for you both actually-op and puppy.
If you had come on here and said you were suddenly very ill with something other than morning sickness and were struggling with a new dog I wonder if the responses would be so harsh?

I echo what pp have said about your partner needing to step up and help.

And also the advise about rehoming.

And if not start again with the training. Take the dog out every hour on the hour, praise and reward when he toilets outside, cuddle and reassure him if you can, you need to bond with him if possible.

Is there anyone in RL who can help with this whilst you are ill?

Trinity66 · 02/01/2018 13:40

My DP won't let me take him back

This is your biggest problem I think, he won't allow you to take him back but he expects you to look after him. Poor puppy and you need to grow a backbone

PerfectlyDone · 02/01/2018 13:41

Why on earth do people get dogs when they clearly haven't a clue about dogs?

Because they are seduced by the idea of dog ownership, by the myth of 'man's best friend' and by wanting 'something to love' Hmm - rather than informing themselves about the reality and being brutally honest with themselves.

snackarella · 02/01/2018 13:42

This was me 2 years ago except I was 28 weeks pregnant. I cried every day and my mum suggested to my
Husband we get rid of the puppy and he went nuclear.
Fast forward a while....and the puppy stopped being a twat and the baby was born and things calmed down a little - 2 years later he's a brilliant dog.
I feel bad for how cross with him I got back
In the day as none of it was his fault. Can you afford doggy day care when he is old enough? X

Norland · 02/01/2018 13:42

gta

I've reported your thread and asked for it to be moved to www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse where you'll get a bit more advice.

Dogs are pack animals, they need company and you and your family need to be this animal's pack.

What little you've written suggests you shouldn't be a dog-owner at this time of your life; if your partner is unable to care for the dog, it's your decision to do the right thing for it.

You finished your original post with Please help and the majority of advice on here suggests that you need to help yourself and re-home this animal as soon as possible. Contact a local puppy-socialisation group and ask them for advice (as well as the vet tonight)

RatherBeRiding · 02/01/2018 13:42

Just because the breeder lives round the corner doesn't mean they aren't running a puppy farm. "Farm" doesn't mean an actual farm with fields and stables in the country, it means any miserable backyard where people keep and breed dogs in dreadful conditions.

Take the poor thing back. You're the one feeling ill; you're the one cleaning up the mess after you twat of a partner has buggered off back to work and left you (literally) in the shit. You obviously don't know how to look after and train a puppy. So do the decent thing if you have an ounce of humanity about you. If your partner doesn't like it then tough shit.

nigelschristmasham · 02/01/2018 13:43

Also re leaving alone. I bought a dog sling for Our second Dog who was very anxious. 15 quid off amazon. She came everywhere with me (including walks with the older dog) in her sling before she could be out (pre jabs). People used to laugh at me for it but I think it really helped her socialise.could that help op? Is the dog too big for you to carry about?

TheVanguardSix · 02/01/2018 13:46

You're taking a beating and that's so discouraging because there are some good bits of advice betwythe vitriol.

It's all a learning curve. You can do this OP. You can bond with this guy and work with him but it takes grit, which is tough to summon with morning sickness (all day long sickness). I remember taking the bins out and just chucking it up, my sense of smell was sooo strong. Even getting close to DH had me gagging! Grin

Definitely go out back every 30-60 minutes to have him pee/poo. Praise him like crazy for his efforts. Repeat.

Royal Canin's French Bulldog (junior) food would be a good investment.

TheVanguardSix · 02/01/2018 13:47

betwythe = between! Grin
I'm not Welsh.

Shambolical1 · 02/01/2018 13:48

Dear God.

I've had rescue dogs for thirty years and been directly involved with rescue for the last ten years, and this thread is a sorry litany of exactly what NOT to do when you buy and look after a puppy.

Bits keep leaping out at me. A ten-week old puppy (I'm feeling probably younger anyway and shoved away from 'home' before Christmas) being fed kust twice a day? No wonder there are digestive problems, leaving out the absence of housetraining.

Sorry OP this is not personal and I am sorry you're feeling so ill, but you and your partner are already causing this puppy harm. I doubt the 'breeder' is going to be any help to you. Please talk to your vet tomorrow and get this pup to a rescue as soon as you possibly can.

TheVanguardSix · 02/01/2018 13:48

It's a little early to socialise. Wait until he's fully vaccinated (14 weeks?).

goodbyeeee · 02/01/2018 13:49

Jeez some of you are really unkind. The OP has hyperemisis- you know that really terrible debilitating condition. Shes been hospitalized with it for crying out loud. Plus what I am sure is added anxiety following a recent miscarriage.

I love animals and it's clearly a difficult situation but calling her names is really really not on. OP is feeling despetately unwell and is struggling to cope with a situation that is not of her making.

OP I think you have to insist that DP seeks professional advice about rehoming. You can't and shouldn't have to cope with this at the moment.

Huskylover1 · 02/01/2018 13:50

Even without these issues, I actually don't think it's a good idea to have a dog and a newborn. Both require lots of time and attention, and you will be spreading yourself too thin. Even when the dog is house trained, it will get sick sometimes and crap everywhere. On the same floor that your baby crawls on. And do you want to have to walk the dog in all weathers? Dragging a new born and small child out in rain/snow, every day throughout winter?

Shambolical1 · 02/01/2018 13:51

*just

Loonoonow · 02/01/2018 13:53

Some people just aren't cut out to have pets. There is no shame in admitting this and responsibly rehousing this puppy while it is still young enough to attach to new owners.

Better than keeping in a house where it is unwanted and the OP doesn't have the will or the skills to train it.

GeorgeW78 · 02/01/2018 13:53

"I can't stand him being near me"
Your puppy knows and is distressed by that.
Don't blame your puppy, blame your DP who did a totally irresponsible thing and is continuing to do so by the sounds of it.
Your puppy deserves more, it needs to be loved. Withholding affection is a form of neglect so don't let it continue.
Do the right thing and find a charity to rehome your puppy now before it's too late. They may have a scheme where an experienced volunteer will take care of a dog in their home, training/socialising etc before it's rehomed. I suggested the breeder but having read more, they don't sound responsible.

HollyJollyDillydolly · 02/01/2018 13:55

At 10weeks old the puppy is still very young and won't be able to hold its bowels and bladder for long reliably. You or dh need to be letting puppy out during the night still really, our puppy was a good 6m before he was 90% house trained, he still had the odd accident after that if he was busy playing with dc.

I would honestly look at rehomingthe puppy now if you're struggling, the early weeks ate important for training and socialising. If you're too poorly to manage this now it will be harder in the long run to correct any socialization/training.

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