To hate the dog

[gta]

We have a 10 week old puppy . I am 8 weeks pregnant with the most horrendous morning day and night sickness and my sense of smell through the roof.
The dog is NOT house trained and seems to be going backwards rather than improving. He is shitting and pissing EVERYWHERE. Pooing in his own bed. Eating his own poo. Vomiting his poo up. Weeing in his own bed. His bed is washed multiple times a day, new beds have been bought.
I can't cope . I am crying everyday with it all it's disgusting. I dread waking up in the morning feeling sick, being sick and then cleaning up all the piss and shit he's left all over the kitchen floor . I can't stand him being near me . I'm at a complete loss st what to do but I'm absolutely miserable and hate living in my house with him. Please help

I have to go out sometimes to the shops etc.
He is st the vets tonight for his second lot of jabs

Actually scrap that - don't return him to breeder - breeder is dodgy wherever he lives.

Firstly he needs to be on four small meals a day. As I said previously then taken straight outside to toilet.

But please phone the breeder today. Your H will have to get over it.

So what are you going to do, OP?

Shatnerswig, I did, thank you. Hence why I responded to the ops points and asked further questions

Which in fact is how we heard from the op that dh is not letting her rehome the dog.

OP you have a DH problem, not a dog problem I really feel for you, pregnancy after a mc is bloody hard as it is, never mind with hyperemesis and the bloody dog thrown in

Very unpleasant comments here.

She's not an idiot, she's a woman in the first weeks of pregnancy with horrible sickness. Dog mess in the kitchen, where your food is...Every day, multiple times? I could barely cope with the fridge being opened with my last baby.

A puppy soiling its own bed is either distressed, sick or neglected

No, sorry, that's rubbish.

We got our dog when she was 5 months old. She came with a crate. She was mostly already house trained. We learned very early on, that actually, she hated the crate. If you put her in there, she would crap in protest. She certainly wasn't distressed, sick or neglected. It was her way of saying that she didn't want to be in the crate. So we stopped crating her.

Are either of you actually doing any training with it? Or are you literally picking up its poo and wondering why it’s making a mess everywhere.

Such a common story Played out in various forms all too often.

I actually feel really sorry for OP here - her DP got the puppy, now she's the one expected to train & care for it - which whilst on medication for sickness/hyperemesis is not very fair on her.

OP - your partner is an inconsiderate idiot. But as you're stuck with the dog - you will need to learn to train it, and care for it properly, otherwise you will be stuck with a untrained, unruly dog along with a newborn baby in a few months time. Buy puppy pads to lay in the dog's bed - easier to clear up. Get a crate and look into crate training - then the mess will at least be confined. Are you walking this pup? It will need it for socialisation and lead training.

There's lots of advice here, and everywhere about training this puppy - do it now, before it gets any older. Book puppy training classes (preferably your DP can do these when he's not working?)

I'm guessing it's some large/energetic/designer breed? Bought on Gumtree or from a mate? I really wish people like your DP were not allowed to buy puppies - these are living, sentient creatures

OP

Then you have to tell your DH that you are going to do the right thing by the puppy, and for you. He is being a complete arse by the sounds of it, but as I said before- you have partial responsibility and cannot wriggle out if by blaming your husband. That's a complete cop out because you agreed to take partial responsibility for the dog's welfare when you agreed to keep it. You cannot wipe your hands of the issue now because your DH disagrees. If he cannot be home to do the caring/training and you cannot/will not do it, then the poor puppy cannot stay. And you must make that happen. It sounds like their are big problems in your relationship if you can't address this problem.

I feel so sorry for the poor thing- it's probably been struggling more than most puppies as it's been taken from it's mother too early and is now more than likely picking up on your vibes but cannot understand what is wrong. All of which is likely to be causing distress and more problems with making mess in the house.

As it sounds like you did get your puppy too young, then I suggest you don't take it back to the breeder as I though earlier- as they cannot be a reputable breeder with the animals best interests at heart. Take it to a breed specific or very reputable rehoming centre (and please, research this- not just the 1st one you come across). Please, please do not rehome via friends/gumtree etc and try to recoup the money by selling on the puppy. Between you and your DH, you've messed up over this puppy once by getting it- please don't compound it by being irresponsible again.

This kind of thing makes me really angry. You and DH did something stupid, didn't do your research and so on. So now you must fix it. If he is being irresponsible, then you have to be the one to step up and do the right thing. If you don't, then you're every but as bad as him!

Poor puppy.

I would definitely try and rehome him ASAP. He deserves a family that can train / take care of him.
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with the pregnancy, OP. It sucks, but the best thing for you and the puppy is to rehome him.

If your DP has a problem with it, then he should be in charge of house training him.
He is still very young and will have lots of accidents, it takes a lot of patience and time.

A french bulldog will be easy to rehome, they are very in vogue

This the problem. People who have no clue get them because they are cute and trendy .

Nanny - you have no idea what I've suffered or haven't suffered. (In fact, you have absolutely no clue what the OP is or isn't suffering from; you've just made a diagnosis based on a few words on an anonymous forum that may be totally true or may be chucked in there to justify her position!)

Bottom line: nothing takes away personal responsibility. If something happens - say an accident or sudden sickness - you're still responsible for your kids, pets, family, debts and you should have something in place to cover this before taking on those responsibilities. That's why the OP needs to step up to her partner, not just ignore everyone here.

Ask the vet about the pooing and the eating of his poo - he may have tummy problems. Tell the vet you are struggling to look after this puppy, she may be able to give you advice on rehoming him.

A lot of popular/fashionable breeds are farmed in eastern Europe, shipped over here and placed with 'breeders' who advertise and sell them. The puppies are often suffering from parvo or other diseases, have been taken much too young from the mother, and are traumatised and poorly.

Please take the puppy to a vet to get checked over. If it really is a reputable breeder then they'll take the pup back. If not, find a reputable rescue. If your 'D'P won't 'let' you rehome it, tell him you'll rehome him and the dog.

Go to the puppy support thread in the dog subforum. This stuff is all to be expected.

You have a VERY limited number of weeks (the window closes at 12-16 weeks) to socialise him properly and get him used to all the things he will encounter as an adult, in a positive way - other dogs, children, cars, public transport etc. If you do not do this you will have far greater problems with your dog further down the line - read up on reactivity in dogs. Take him to puppy classes at the vets as soon as his vaccinations are sorted.

If you can't manage this, you need to return him to the breeder pronto - this week. He will find another home very quickly.

I know the sad reality of what happens when people don't train and socialise their puppies properly. My dog only got 10 minutes a day of walkies when he was a puppy and no training ("we don't have time"). I suspect the resulting issues - albeit very much at the mild end of the spectrum - will mean that he can never fully be trusted around other dogs.

He is st the vets tonight for his second lot of jabs

Well that's good. So ask while you're there about the poo problem.

DH and I got our first dog (first dog together, we'd both always had dogs as children) when I was pregnant, but further along than you just at the 'tail end' of morning sickness. Looking back now (28 years and numerous dogs later) we both agree it was a mistake. We persevered and she was a wonderful dog (Golden Retriever) but it was very stressful for all of us, including her. Not just housebreaking and obedience training, but also having a pup and a newborn. And my DH was fully invested in caring for her. You apparently aren't that lucky.

I'll pass over the 'DH won't let me return' because unless you think he's going to physically/mentally/financially abuse you if you do (and that's a whole other issue!), returning the pup is in your control. You call the breeder and return the pup on your own. Done!

If you won't return the pup then you will need to persevere. But a lot of it will depend on where you live. We had a house with a fenced yard, so it was a matter of my taking her out on a lead to the same spot in the yard after every meal and about every two hours during the day and sitting there until she did her business. Obvs if you don't have a yard, that means a walk to the same spot every two hours OR training to use puppy pads if it's a small dog. But the key is that you have to be very alert and proactive. If you aren't, then what you are doing now is setting up the scenario where pup thinks it's OK to 'go' in the house. AND you are creating a nervous, fearful dog if you are shouting or punishing for it.

If you don't have a crate, get one. Crate training is easy and dogs don't like to soil their own 'space'. It's not a miracle training cure, but it does seem to help with 'night training'. Plus a crate trained dog looks on its crate as its 'safe place' and that makes it easier to contain the dog for deliveries and such. Or for you to get a break for a few minutes. But do NOT think that you can get a crate and then leave pup in it for hours a day. That's cruel.

For now, if you won't rehome, remember that the days will pass and you'll hopefully feel better soon. Just remember that the pup is an innocent, sentient creature. He doesn't realize what he's doing is wrong. It's your job to gently teach him.

Husky, surely your dog WAS in that case both distressed and neglected? Distressed because she didn't like the crate and neglected because, despite her (presumably) trying to 'tell' her previous owners she didn't like it, she was still being put in it.

Is the breeder a back yard breeder? Answer honestly as that will change the advice given.

You have probably spent a small fortune on this currently in fashion breed, but they are not toys/commodities they are living feeling creatures and the moral thing to do is find it the best forever home as possible. You may lose money out of this (short term, long term you’ll save a fortune), but that’s a lesson for the future, you don’t buy pups as a surprise!

Tell the vet you are struggling to look after this puppy, she may be able to give you advice on rehoming him.

This. Please, OP. Be responsible.

I can't find the words . As a vet, I see so much of this and it never fails to depress me. WHY is the message about research, gumtree puppies, dodgy breeders, christmas puppies and thinking long and hard NOT getting through????

Because there are always people willing to buy such puppies from arseholes who breed them Platypus

I see the point about not returning to a dodgy breeder for the pup's sake, but that's similar logic to people buying a pitiful little creature from a puppy farms or pet shop to 'rescue' it. Yes it helps that particular puppy, but it just fuels the trade and enables a cruel, irresponsible business practice. If no one bought from them, they'd go out of business. If they had to take responsibility for every pup they bred for life, they wouldn't be able to afford to breed a fraction as many.

I doubt the breeder will have him back anyway, so it's probably a theoretical point, but it doesn't hurt for them to be reminded of their responsibilities.

Speak to your vet and tell them you need help in rehoming this pup.

Do the responsible thing - it's what good parents do.