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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why would anyone do this?

450 replies

Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 22:41

Name changed for this thread.

I’ve just had FB message from a complete stranger who maintains she has been having an affair with my husband. She hasn’t, the message was full of totally incorrect details including dates and times when I know he was with me.

They had connected on linked-in but have never met. Why would somebody do this, particularly on NYE?

OP posts:
runwalkrun · 31/12/2017 23:52

I shouldn’t have posted on here

You have already made up your mind that she is telling lies.
So yes, you will not find the reassurances that you want on this site.

Good luck.

froginapond · 31/12/2017 23:53

Very weird and creep and nasty.

I would be very very very upset.

Even if it was a load of shit.

Coz clearly some (batty) woman has a thing for your husband.

Or she fucking hates you.

You have my sympathy OP, I hope it all turns out OK.

As a few posters have said though, I have a strong suspicion that there is something in it. Despite a few posters saying 'hang a man before the trial and so on,' there is a slight chance he has been playing away. I think the people saying 'no way is he up to anything are very naive.' This is sounding pretty dodgy.

You may find some of the answers here distasteful OP, and think MN'ers are man haters, but that is not true. Many women are just realistic.

Wake up and smell the coffee. Keep an eye on things. This woman has NOT come from nowhere. Don't be naive.

MsHarry · 31/12/2017 23:53

I don't think anyone is getting any kicks whatsoever from suggesting there could be more to it. It just warrants a few questions and checks. If it was me I'd want to prove my innocence. Similar thing happened to my neighbour. A guy turned up at her house saying his wife had an affair with her husband. She dismissed him, her DH said he was crazy. It was true. I sincerely hope you are right.

Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:54

I have not made my mind up. What part of her saying he has been spending nights with her when we have not spent a night apart do you not understand?

OP posts:
Jobjobjob · 31/12/2017 23:54

Can I just say I'm in a 34 year relationship without any infidelity.... but the LinkedIn thing doesn't sit well with me.

MsHarry · 31/12/2017 23:55

She sounds crazy or drunk or both. Perhaps she is deluded or perhaps there was something and he rejected her. Perhaps he was being friendly and she got carried away.

Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:56

What doesn’t sit well with you?

OP posts:
froginapond · 31/12/2017 23:56

Not everyone shags someone overnight.

froginapond · 31/12/2017 23:57

Just coz you have spent every single night with your DH for X amount of years, he could still have been cheating in the day.

This is probably a colleague.

MsHarry · 31/12/2017 23:57

Is your DH offering to show you his phone and texts? He should be.

Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:57

Dear god frog. SHE SAID HE HAD BEEN STAYING OVERNIGHT!

OP posts:
Rossigigi · 31/12/2017 23:58

OP you are either very unlucky and have come across a bunny boiler, or, there is something in it. No smoke without fire rings very true. Sorry I know that's not what you want to here.

froginapond · 31/12/2017 23:58

Whether he has been cheating, or whether she is a batty bunny boiler and he has done nothing wrong, I am willing to bet that he knows her.

MiddleClassProblem · 31/12/2017 23:58

Equally as there are people in the world this has been the exposing of an affair, there are just as many people who have been approached by a shit stirrer. I know people who this has happened to and it has been total bollocks. I have been on the receiving end of someone pretending to the world I was his gf when I was seeing someone else.

arethereanyleftatall · 31/12/2017 23:59

I have experienced the same thing this year.

Turns out it was an affair. Took me a year to realise the truth.

The woman was batshit too, but there was an affair.

Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:59

This is getting ridiculous. This is probably a colleague. He is self-employed, he has no colleagues. Nice jump there.

OP posts:
runwalkrun · 01/01/2018 00:00

All we're saying g is OP. don't be so quick to believe the She's crazy! Don't believe her! spiel.

Don't be gullible.

Farmerswife36 · 01/01/2018 00:00

Hmmmm I'd be digging for info

Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 01/01/2018 00:05

Ok, you’ve all convinced me. I’ve told him he’s a cheating cunt and I’m currently
packing my stuff to leave. That’s what
you all want isn’t it?

OP posts:
CheekyFuckersAreEntertaining · 01/01/2018 00:06

A crazy woman from Edinburgh did something similar to us. Only it was her stating for a fact that she knew that our DC weren't DH's (they certainly are). She even invented a fake child she had had with my DH 14 years ago!

She sent insane messages and called his work, pretended to be the police and everything. Turns out she had done something along the same lines before with someone else. We reported her and she was up in front of a judge last November.

Keep your messages in case this numpty escalates.

runwalkrun · 01/01/2018 00:07

What do you want us to say?

Babybauble · 01/01/2018 00:08

I'm usually quite paranoid with this sort of thing but to me this sounds like some nut job and nothing more. I'd be tempted to wind her up, wish her a happy new year and tell her you will spend it cosying up to your DH, like you did on the nights she imagined she was with him!

MissTeri · 01/01/2018 00:10

I'd have been tempted to message 'Well brilliant, at least I know who gave him clap now' Wink

GreenPurpleRed · 01/01/2018 00:14

I have over 500 contacts on LinkedIn and know maybe 50 of them. I need the connections for work so Yes, some people do use it like that for the pp 'who didn't understand' why he had a connection he didn't know Hmm

OP most people who post on MN about this do have a cheating dh but if you are sure then this person is shit stirring and who knows why people behave badly like this.

I'm only up as we have jetlag and d&v in our house so I'm having a shit NYE too Flowers

ReturnofSaturn · 01/01/2018 00:17

I dont think anyone is trying to absolutely convince the OP that her DH is a cheater.

But If i was to receive a message like that however, out of the blue, it would be so unusual that i would certainly do some extra digging just in case...even if some of the facts from her were incorrect.

It seems the OP doesn't want to do this though and is happy to bury her head in sand and swiftly move on so i dont really see the point in this thread. She just wanted a load of people to sympathise 'oh what a nutjob crazy bitch'.