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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why would anyone do this?

450 replies

Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 22:41

Name changed for this thread.

I’ve just had FB message from a complete stranger who maintains she has been having an affair with my husband. She hasn’t, the message was full of totally incorrect details including dates and times when I know he was with me.

They had connected on linked-in but have never met. Why would somebody do this, particularly on NYE?

OP posts:
esk1mo · 31/12/2017 23:09

id be asking to read the Linkdin conversation to be honest

Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:09

I have, he showed me it straight away, without me asking.

OP posts:
EvelynDoll · 31/12/2017 23:10

I’m not getting why anyone would use LinkedIn in this way. At all.

No smoke without fire, I wouldn’t be buying the thought that she’s a prankster. Something is oddly wrong.

mummmy2017 · 31/12/2017 23:10

Just thank her for the information, and you will deal with it.
she will then think you know and don't care...
If you try to tell her she is wrong, she gets the interaction she wants.
It's Sad people are like this....

speakout · 31/12/2017 23:10

What did he tell her about the dog? Did you read the message?

Gemini69 · 31/12/2017 23:11

it is an odd one OP.. very odd.... Confused

so.. what does she actually want then ? passed on info.. thank you .. bye.. kinda thing ?

very weird Hmm

Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:12

He mentioned he had spent his lunch break walking the dog.

OP posts:
Frustrationqueen · 31/12/2017 23:12

Its actually nice to see full blown trust here.
Im glad she wasnt able to ruin anything between you and your dh.
Time to move on, let it go and maybe your dh might think twice about using his account for personal chit chat in the future

SusieOwl4 · 31/12/2017 23:12

Just someone really drunk probably. At a party .

Ullupullu · 31/12/2017 23:13

I would also be asking to read their linkedin chat right now. Emotional online affair? I think if this happened to my DP he'd be amused more than "shocked, upset, angry" as your DH.

Dancetothebeat32 · 31/12/2017 23:13

Glenn close and rabbits spring to mind, obviously unginged you know there’s no truth, she’s blocked and obviously troubled forget about it happy new year in advance Grin

Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:13

I have no interest in how my husband uses his LinkedIn or any other social media.

OP posts:
KioskKeithForPresident · 31/12/2017 23:13

dates when he was with me

Dates or times?

Are you regularly with your husband 24 hours a day?

The capacity of a man set on sex is unlimitless. I know someone who went on holiday with his family and took his mistress to stay at the same hotel. His wife would have said "he was with me on those dates" and indeed he was. Just not all of the time.

Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:14

And like I said I’ve read the LinkedIn conversation!

OP posts:
Finderscrispy · 31/12/2017 23:14

If he also uses other social media she could have done a bit of online research, for e.g Facebook pics of him walking dog etc.. not hard to build up a bit of a profile on someone if you have the inclination.

Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:15

She said he had stayed nights. He has not been away for a night.

OP posts:
speakout · 31/12/2017 23:15

The thing is you have to get pretty chatty with someone to even mention that you have a dog- especially on a business web site.
PMs may start off by asking for contacts/ trying to network./ jobs etc- everyone on Linkedin in has that same starting frame.
It's a business website, not a friendship meet place.
If you do end up talking about personal things like family pets- it will be after many messages- possibly dozens if not more.

How many pms did he show you?

MsHarry · 31/12/2017 23:15

Why was your DH talking to her?

SoozeyHoozey · 31/12/2017 23:16

Dead dad to get a sympathy shag. How does he know her? Has that been explained?

Rudgie47 · 31/12/2017 23:16

In my life I've only met 1 man who has been faithfull, all the rest have shagged about.
I would have asked to meet her in the New Year so she could prove it to . I bet theres something in it. Thats not a random crank.

ijustwannadance · 31/12/2017 23:16

Does he have her phone no. in his mobile?

Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:17

MrsHarry I don’t police who he speaks to.

OP posts:
Grilledaubergines · 31/12/2017 23:17

I hate to think the worst and am not great at detecting bull but in this case OP, this is nothing innocent. My feeling is she gave him an ultimatum to tell you/leave you. He didn't so she carried out a threat to tell you.

BSintolerant · 31/12/2017 23:17

If I were in your shoes puppy I'd meet up with her just to see if she would turn up and to see how she'd react to certain questions in real life.

I'm not suggesting you should do this, but if someone was trying to wind me up I'd return the favour - I'd wind the CF up so tightly they'd still be ticking well into the next decade. Grin

leftwiththedognow · 31/12/2017 23:18

My God. Why are you people so mistrustful? No smoke without fire?
He mentioned a casual walk with his dog in LinkedIn. This could be linked to work downtime! My colleague posts about his bike riding. Calm TF down.

She's a dick OP. Blocked is the correct decision.

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