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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why would anyone do this?

450 replies

Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 22:41

Name changed for this thread.

I’ve just had FB message from a complete stranger who maintains she has been having an affair with my husband. She hasn’t, the message was full of totally incorrect details including dates and times when I know he was with me.

They had connected on linked-in but have never met. Why would somebody do this, particularly on NYE?

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 31/12/2017 22:58

Treading carefully here as I most certainly do not want to upset you or instill paranoia, but if none of it has any truth in it why is your dh so upset. If someone accused me of having an affair I wouldn't care because I wouldn't. Dp is enough.

Jobjobjob · 31/12/2017 22:59

So why would they "chat" on LinkedIn? It's for professional connections? I only "chat" to recruitment consultants or about professional events. I NEVER discuss my personal life as it's not that sort of social media.

What did she get right?

QuinnsNo1Lady · 31/12/2017 23:00

🤔🤔🤔

speakout · 31/12/2017 23:00

I'm still not getting it.

How would she know who you are? How would she even find you on facebook?

Notevilstepmother · 31/12/2017 23:01

🦇 💩

Some people just are.

Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:01

There is definitely no truth in it. He works for himself and is a chatty kind of guy. She mentioned the dog - we have one. She said that he had been on the phone constantly when his dad died - his dad is still alive.

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Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:02

If she searched for his profile on FB it would be easy for her to find me.

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Engorged · 31/12/2017 23:02

I can tell you Awwlookatmybabyspider , I would be pissed off if someone accused me of having an affair even if I wasn't. Not only because someone was trying to ruin my marriage but the upset of not understanding why someone would want to e so spiteful against me.

Jobjobjob · 31/12/2017 23:03

But LinkedIn is not for discussing the dog..........

Just saying!

Frustrationqueen · 31/12/2017 23:03

Maybe shes a wee bit pissed and confused him with somebody else

speakout · 31/12/2017 23:03

How would she even find you on facebook though? Or know that you were his wife?

Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:03

That may not be what you use it for.

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Gemini69 · 31/12/2017 23:04

actually... I agree.. every single contact on my LinkedIn is a current or past career colleague.. people I physically met and know Confused I've never actually 'chatted' to anyone on there..

I'm baffled for you OP.... Flowers

speakout · 31/12/2017 23:04

I didn't know people had such personal chats on linkedin.

Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:04

As I’ve said if she looked him up on FB it’s pretty obvious I’m his wife.

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Jobjobjob · 31/12/2017 23:05

That may not be what you use it for.

Not many others!

Nope on LinkedIn other than current or former colleagues knows one bit about my personal life!

speakout · 31/12/2017 23:06

Is your OH still in "shock"

KioskKeithForPresident · 31/12/2017 23:06

Man looking for sympathy ... for a smypathy hug... sympathy shag... man looking for a shag. It's not that difficult to lie about or substitute a dead father for a dead uncle or a dead dog.

To answer your question - why would someone lie - they wouldn't. It's very very unlikely.

Most likely is there is some truth in it somewhere.

Very small chance it's mistaken identity, a mental health issue or malicious (but if malicious that's usually to try to cause a split which itself isn't something people do out of no where).

Hope it all turns out ok for you OP but there is a reason why there is an expression no smoke without fire.

Gemini69 · 31/12/2017 23:06

the simple answer to this would be to ask her to prove it....

Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:06

I guess I don’t use LinkedIn in the same way. There’s no one I haven’t met on my FB profile, but plenty of them on my LinkedIn.

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Rossigigi · 31/12/2017 23:08

That's odd. All my LinkedIn connections are people I've worked with, or are in the same field. It's not for 'chatting' like Facebook for example.

Are you sure she hasn't got her dates mixed up? Are you sure your dp didn't tell her lies like 'my father died'. Sorry but I'm sceptical.

speakout · 31/12/2017 23:08

Sorry but it sounds fishy to me.

Idontdowindows · 31/12/2017 23:08

I had the same thing, the woman even claimed to be pregnant by my husband, which was hilarious as he'd had a vasectomy years before he even met me.

Turned out that she'd made a pass at him at some point, he'd told her in no uncertain terms to cut it out and she thought this was a good way to bugger our relationship up.

Two of us had a bloody good laugh about it :)

PurpleMinionMummy · 31/12/2017 23:08

Cheaters tell all sorts of lies, the fact his dad is actually still alive means nothing. Why would he be chatting to a random on linked in about his dog in the first place? That's concerning. It's rather strange she would do this. I'm not saying he has done anything but I'd be very wary.

Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:08

Good grief! There’s no truth in it however much some of you seem to want my husband to have been unfaithful. Like I said she mentioned dates when he was with me.

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