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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why would anyone do this?

450 replies

Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 22:41

Name changed for this thread.

I’ve just had FB message from a complete stranger who maintains she has been having an affair with my husband. She hasn’t, the message was full of totally incorrect details including dates and times when I know he was with me.

They had connected on linked-in but have never met. Why would somebody do this, particularly on NYE?

OP posts:
Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:18

I wouldn’t know if he has her number or not and I’m not going to ask to see his phone.

OP posts:
MsHarry · 31/12/2017 23:18

Sorry I didn't mean that but isn't Linkedin a means of recruiting? Are they in the same business? Who contacted who and about what?

SpareASquare · 31/12/2017 23:19

She said that he had been on the phone constantly when his dad died - his dad is still alive

On the phone to her? Classic cheaters move right there. Looking for sympathy or a way 'in'.

She may be making it all up but don't base that opinion on things like the above statement. That in no way says she's lying.
I also wouldn't go by your DH's reaction because that says nothing.

Of course she may be mentally unstable and/or looking to cause trouble for whatever reason but don't dismiss her entirely. He chats to her, they have some kind of 'relationship'. This is not a stranger to him.

wagil · 31/12/2017 23:20

Blimey OP, I bet you're glad you posted.

MammaTJ · 31/12/2017 23:20

I would have replied 'Oh bless you for trying sweety, you clearly need help, so many things, so very wrong. Never mind, good try. 10/10 for effort'.

Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:21

I shouldn’t have posted on here.

OP posts:
MsHarry · 31/12/2017 23:23

It just seems a crazy thing to do and only you know your DH but you need to check it out. I love my DH, would bet my life on him not cheating but if this happened I would check to be 100% Good luck!

Vicks30 · 31/12/2017 23:26

Some women just get super obsessed and possessive. 2 years after me and my got together, we broke up for 3 months and then got back together. In the time we were broken up he was seeing someone else but broke it off with her when we reconciled. I don’t think he told her it was to get back with me. One day I was on msn (when it actually worked) and she added me. I was extrememley civil. I asked her what she was up to and she said how she and (my bf) were spending the day together and how they had gone to a hotel the evening before. The funny thing was me and him had gone to a hotel and he was sitting with me at the exact time she said he was with her. This kind of behaviour cont8nued with her sending me emails. I still hadn’t told her we were back together. She finally stopped when she found herself a new beau who she is now married too. I just found it funny.

SoozeyHoozey · 31/12/2017 23:27

There are more cheating men than there are crazy bitches ready to besmirch the name of otherwise innocent men. You should at least entertain the possibility’s

Vicks30 · 31/12/2017 23:29

We are still together now 11 years after, with 2 kids and couldn’t be stronger.

BSintolerant · 31/12/2017 23:29

Do you think some silly fool is pretending to be your husband? There's nowt so queer as folk ...

Jobjobjob · 31/12/2017 23:33

Some women just get super obsessed and possessive. 2 years after me and my got together, we broke up for 3 months and then got back together. In the time we were broken up he was seeing someone else but broke it off with her when we reconciled. I don’t think he told her it was to get back with me. One day I was on msn (when it actually worked) and she added me. I was extrememley civil. I asked her what she was up to and she said how she and (my bf) were spending the day together and how they had gone to a hotel the evening before. The funny thing was me and him had gone to a hotel and he was with me at the exact time she said he was with her. This kind of behaviour cont8nued with her sending me emails. I still hadn’t told her we were back together. She finally stopped when she found herself a new beau who she is now married too. I just found it funny.

So she had said it with history? Not absolutely no relationship with your DP?

FlyingElbows · 31/12/2017 23:35

Come on now, op, don't be letting the fact that you actually know your husband get in the way of the mn rabid desire to prove he's cheating on you. I too am married to the sort of man who happily tells people all sorts of unnecessary personal info when he's known them 20 seconds? Serial shagger? No. Genuinely lovely bloke who just over-shares a bit? Yes. Just block her (as you have) and move on. And don't ever post anything like this on mn again Wink

ClaireRose8 · 31/12/2017 23:35

I agree, you shouldn’t have posted on here. I’ve barely read the comments but a lot of them really are a stretch and not helpful to you. Delete this thread, delete that girl and forget it happened. X

EastMidsMummy · 31/12/2017 23:37

FFS, the OP knows this woman is lying. All men are not the lying scumbags some of you have them down as.

Vicks30 · 31/12/2017 23:38

Yeah they had a history, brief but a history non the less. What I’m saying is that some women are just crazy. And when they get obsessed with someone or something they go crazy psycho. Like an addiction. I get the same, except with tv character or tv shows not actual people where you can inflict any sort of harm.

BewareOfDragons · 31/12/2017 23:39

She's on LinkedIn and connected to your DH?

I would be seriously tempted to forward the message/email to her current employer with a note saying their employee is a shit-stirring, lying, shitty excuse of a human being who is clearly mentally unwell if she thought her lies and attempts to break up an innocent bystander's marriage would go unchecked.

grumpygiraffe · 31/12/2017 23:40

I pity the people who are trying to persuade you that your husband is having an affair.

StorminaBcup · 31/12/2017 23:43

She’s obviously trolling - it happens everywhere. LinkedIn is no different.
Be glad you know it’s rubbish OP Flowers

Gemini69 · 31/12/2017 23:44

I pity the people who are trying to persuade you that your husband is having an affair

that'll be the Woman on LinkedIn...... Confused

runwalkrun · 31/12/2017 23:46

It's too easy to write her off as a crackpot.
I would be doing some serious digging.

No smoke without fire and all that. Hmm

NoMudNoLotus · 31/12/2017 23:46

I experienced this exact same thing a few years ago .

I ignored it.

Turns out it was an affair.

MiddleClassProblem · 31/12/2017 23:46

Jesus people are as crazy on here as the lady on LinkedIn. They alway love to assume a man is having an affair despite all the facts pointing to no.

bookishteacher · 31/12/2017 23:49

My dad chats with people constantly. He met my landlord briefly for about 15mins and knows all about his life, children, and late Mrs. It's just the way my dad is - he's genuinely interested in people and will tell them all about himself in return! OP ignore all the arses that are getting their kicks imagining your husband in bed with another woman! I lived with a girl that would do things like this - for fun - and lied about all sorts of things to get my flatmates and I kicked out of our flat all for the thrill! There was no fire to cause smoke - she was just a nutter!

Original poster
Puppyduppydoo · 31/12/2017 23:50

I actually find some of the answers on here extremely distasteful. It patently clear she is lying. It would seem that MN truly is a man-hating place.

OP posts: