AIBU to think they were rude about my social faux pas?

[3loves]

We - MIL, FIL, DP, two DDs and me - went to a restaurant for lunch where they serve veggies for a starter as part of a set meal for kids. My girls don't eat them, so normally my DP and I do. On this particular day, I was heavily pregnant, very tired and very hungry. When the kids' starters were served (us grown ups hadn't ordered starters), I took the veggies off my younger daughter's plate and tucked in without thought. I was feeling weak, but trying to hide it, so nothing was on my mind except for feeding myself in that initial second. My MIL was sitting across from me while my DP and FIL were on the other end of the table opposite each other. My DP looks at me and nearly shouts at me 'Are you going to eat that' or something similar. And my FIL looks at me with these dagger eyes like I had knocked someone over to shove food in my mouth. I couldn't bear to look at my MIL, but no doubt she had the same look. I just froze. I don't think I even responded. I had clearly committed a fatal error of not sharing with my MIL, while DP and FIL shared my elder daughter's portion of veggies. FIL made a big deal of giving their bit to MIL. I felt mortified. They made me feel so embarrassed. There were additional looks and sarcastic comments during the meal as well. Now, AIBU at thinking this is ridiculous? I was a heavily pregnant, hungry woman who acted out of habit (when ILs are not there). If given a chance, I would have noticed two seconds into eating that I hadn't shared, laughed at my faux pas and apologised. And I think any other person (please do let me know your brutally honest MN thoughts on this too) would have laughed back - thought nothing of it - and turned down any offer, given I was a hungry pregnant woman taking food off my own daughter's plate in a meal we were paying for. Now I am breastfeeding, I am expecting the situation to arise again (or rather hear some reference to the previous occasion). What do I do then?

Who seriously expects to share two cherry tomatoes and two slices of cucumber and a piece of raw carrot?

I'd be glad to get it gone so dinner might arrive sooner. I wouldn't be unkind to pregnant DIL.

This sounds really petty. It’s a non-issue. I bet you have form for being thoughtless though otherwise your dh wouldn’t have commented

Why do you wish that Spikey? Unless the ops sons asd is so severe that he literally cannot refrain from lashing out when provoked and will never be able to then he does need to learn other ways to deal with frustration. If he is considered by law to be responsible for his actions - and the threshold is high hence a far above average number of the prison population having conditions like asd and ADHD - then teaching him strategies for when he is angry is going to be probably the most valuable life skill he can learn.
You can stop him seeing the grandad and keep him at home but is that a sustainable strategy long term?

Oops wrong thread

I can't see why OP is getting flack for "diving in" to her kids starters. I thought it was usual practise to eat what you know the kids didn't want, mine are fussy on pudding so we eat their kids ones readily.

'Beyond rude'. Really? I think anyone describing this scenario as 'beyond rude' must live a very sheltered life.

No, I did not 'bang on' about being pregnant in my OP... I mentioned it in context of the sentences as it seemed relevant to me. I would never argue with a hungry pregnant or breastfeeding woman wanting to eat or drink, or sit. etc.

Yes you did bang on about it in your OP, and there you go again in the same paragraph.

You were pregnant, not ill. And now you’re breastfeeding, not I’ll.

The way you repeatedly mention you being pregnant as an excuse makes me think you were (and still are while breastfeeding) hard work.

I think you were a bit rude but in my family someone would've just said "blimey Bit, are you going to trough the lot? Give me some!" And we would've all laughed and moved on

If they mention it again say 'good grief, you're not still going on about that are you?' With a face.
It's petty and ridiculous.

I've always thought that it's rude to lean across a restaurant table & eat off another person's plate, let alone share out the food on the plate around everyone at the table!!

My main impression of your ILs is that they are not only too tight too pay for their own starters / side dishes, they are also rude & weird with it.

A Mum eating off her child's plate in an unguarded moment is just about ok but wtf with your ILs wanting to do this.

I think it may have dawned upon the OP the way DH and ILS treat her is not very nice and she so deserves much better.

Honestly, you were rude not being aware the IL's were there and automatically eating/not sharing/not offering, but we've all been there and done that

It is not customary in the uk to share food from a personal plate. It’s usually frowned on a bit.

Uuuh. No! It is a social faux pas to shout at you or discuss it any further!!! Who would want to make such a big deal out it?

Your MIL might have been tired and starving hungry too?

OP, if you're still around, what happened to the carrot slice?

at "no more comments please."

I think your entire family sound a bit.. uptight tbh OP. You all really need to get over this incident.

Jeez - it's a child's portion of veg. Enough to share? Really?

Unless the restaurant serves up giant portions to children so there is enough for adults to share...

Just weird.

OP You were not rude. They were weird.

Zatzuma if they can't afford to order starters they should go somewhere else or not eat out at all? What a stupid comment It never ceases to amaze me how entitled people feel to pronounce on how others should conduct themselves.

I think you need to start carrying snacks around with you if you get that hungry.

I would have (I’d like to think) laughed and said ‘are you serious ??!?’. The fact your own partner shouted at you is hideous 😳

So much angst about carrots, peppers a cucumber!!!

It's because it was mutant peppers. They were originally tomatoes.

Mini - he only "nearly shouted". Although TBF I'm not quite sure how that works.

Goddamn those mutant peppers. Wine anyone?