AIBU to think they were rude about my social faux pas?

[3loves]

We - MIL, FIL, DP, two DDs and me - went to a restaurant for lunch where they serve veggies for a starter as part of a set meal for kids. My girls don't eat them, so normally my DP and I do. On this particular day, I was heavily pregnant, very tired and very hungry. When the kids' starters were served (us grown ups hadn't ordered starters), I took the veggies off my younger daughter's plate and tucked in without thought. I was feeling weak, but trying to hide it, so nothing was on my mind except for feeding myself in that initial second. My MIL was sitting across from me while my DP and FIL were on the other end of the table opposite each other. My DP looks at me and nearly shouts at me 'Are you going to eat that' or something similar. And my FIL looks at me with these dagger eyes like I had knocked someone over to shove food in my mouth. I couldn't bear to look at my MIL, but no doubt she had the same look. I just froze. I don't think I even responded. I had clearly committed a fatal error of not sharing with my MIL, while DP and FIL shared my elder daughter's portion of veggies. FIL made a big deal of giving their bit to MIL. I felt mortified. They made me feel so embarrassed. There were additional looks and sarcastic comments during the meal as well. Now, AIBU at thinking this is ridiculous? I was a heavily pregnant, hungry woman who acted out of habit (when ILs are not there). If given a chance, I would have noticed two seconds into eating that I hadn't shared, laughed at my faux pas and apologised. And I think any other person (please do let me know your brutally honest MN thoughts on this too) would have laughed back - thought nothing of it - and turned down any offer, given I was a hungry pregnant woman taking food off my own daughter's plate in a meal we were paying for. Now I am breastfeeding, I am expecting the situation to arise again (or rather hear some reference to the previous occasion). What do I do then?

What do I do then? Tell them to stop being ridiculous and if it continued I would get up and leave. Is your dh always such a wierd twat?

To be brutally honest, it all sounds a bit dramatic.

My DP looks at me and nearly shouts at me

my FIL looks at me with these dagger eyes like I had knocked someone over to shove food in my mouth

You were absent mindedly rude and they reminded you.

I'd forget it now.

Hmm, missed this from your OP:

Now I am breastfeeding, I am expecting the situation to arise again (or rather hear some reference to the previous occasion). What do I do then?

I kind of assumed this restaurant thing happened yesterday! It’s immensely trivial to be wound up about it even days after the event, let alone months!

Anyway. Here’s what you do.

Menus dished out. Am I hungry enough to eat a starter? Yes. “I’m going to get a starter because I’m ravenous - anyone else? Happy to share something if you like?” Everyone else replies according to hunger. Order & act appropriately when food arrives.

There's probably a huge amount of subtext here. It's not really about cucumber or whatever.

Good grief what a drama you're creating over a non event. What do you do next time? Order a bloody starter for your self. How long ago did this drama happen? You said you were pregnant at the time (Well I think you were you didn't really mention it ) and now you're breast feeding but this is still an issue??

Ffs they're family if it's mentioned just laugh it off or order a starter for yourself and pre empt it by saying this means they can have all the veg

I would always offer to others first, but this isn't really crime of the century!

I doubt it will be mentioned again, but if it is just say "I was hungry and pregnant, what did you expect me to do" and laugh.

Which restaurant is this? I can't understand how a tiny plate of vegetables are going to satisfy anyone who is hungry tbh, let alone two.

How well do you know your ILs? My ILs eye-roll at my behaviour at times but I couldn't give a stuff tbh, we get on fine.

That’s nothing OP. I ate a whole chicken when I was pregnant. I would have been rude to anyone trying to stop me. They were being silly.

I am literally crying with laughter at this thread (sorry/unhelpful)

I'm pretty confused. In what world was it a 'faux pas'? Where is it written or said that thou must share unwanted food with the PILs?

I think the pregnancy thing is a red herring. You don't need an excuse to take food you've paid for off your child's plate.

Why did your DP join in with the bullying? Have you spoken to him about it?

You were all rude TBH. You should have offered to share the veggies, and they should not have helped themselves from DDs plate. But it wasn't a heinous crime, and I would laughed it off. It was a bit over the top to look daggers throughout the meal(are you sure this wasn't your guilty conscience?). Although they may have thought you had this in mind in not ordering a starter. Some people don't order a starter if others don't.

I would to know what the kids veg started consisted of as well please.

Had they said no starter we can just share the kids when ordering and you had missed this?

This situation is bizarre. Why didn't you order a starter if you were a ravenous pregnant woman? Why didn't your inlaws or dh order a starter if they were so hungry? Why are adults relying on sharing the children's food rather than ordering something more substantial? Why are people throwing around filthy looks over a non-event? Why are your dh and inlaws makes such an issue over a few minuscule portions of veg? Why are you still stressing about it months later? Why do you expect this to be raised again? Why can't you and your inlaws just order starters next time you go to avoid this non-event from happening again?

Unless there is some major background story relating to your inlaws then I'm utterly confused by this whole situation.

To solve this problem, order your own starter next time.

In future make your kids eat their own vegetables?

Well it would have been polite to offer to share and clearly you didn’t notice after a few seconds as you’d polished the whole lot or as good as if FIL had to give MIL giants portion.
But your family’s reactions sound mental.
Why didn’t you just say ‘gosh so sorry I was so hungry I didn’t even think of sharing. Shall I order you another portion?’ At which point I would expect MIL to say no it’s fine but born be able to sulk about it.

*not be able to

*his portion. Not sure where giants portion came from????

I expect the 2 plates of veg were on the table

DH took one and placed it between him and his dad to share

The OP didn't do the same with the MIL so he simply said 'Are you going to share that'.

OP got embarrassed and the rest is history, or at least it should be, given that it's such a non event.

Youre all bonkers.

Properly laughing here at 'giants' portion, Corbyns

If FIL does have a giants portion it’s only right he should be sharing it with MIL 😂

Perhaps the in laws paid and they thought they should have first dibs. Not that I agree with this.

I just thought giant was a weird name for a child

I think it;s odd to grab a child;s vegetables off their plate,

You say they don't eat them- but you are teaching them nothing if you re-enforce that idea every time they are presented. There will be a first time for everything, but you are removing that opportunity.
If you were so "weak" with hunger you should have ordered your own starter or a plate of bread.

Weird behaviour from everyone.