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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I'm not the bad guy here

445 replies

HorseCFery · 30/12/2017 11:00

I've name changed for this. I think the friend in question is a MNetter and I don't want it linked to other stuff I've posted

Just as a bit of background, DD2 has been horse riding for several years and earlier this year we were really lucky to be able to find her her first horse.

Anyway, friend has 2 daughters, quite a bit younger than mine. Both are mad about unicorns and horses - neither have ever had any riding lessons or anything like that.

Friend's daughters have birthdays next weekend, and friend asked me if they could have a unicorn/pony party using DD's horse - apparently you can buy unicorn horns and glittery shit for horses, invite a few friends and spend a couple of hours grooming horse, putting flowers, glitter and ribbons on her, and have pony rides on her.

I've said no. Mainly for safety reasons. Horse is amazing but she's not what I would consider a plodder/riding school safe. She's not overly patient with grooming and not suitable for young children who have never ridden before. She is as good as gold with DD, but I'm not happy with letting young, complete beginners on her, even with adult supervision.

There is another riding school down the road who do exactly what she wants, so I gave her all the details.

Friend had been a total pain in the arse about it. Even accosted DD in the street and gave her a lecture about being kind and sharing.

I spoke to friend the other day, made it clear I was pissed off, that I wasn't going to change my mind and to give it a rest. She apologised and I thought that was the end of it.

I'm just having a quiet mooch on Facebook and see a post from her - apologising that she has to cancel next weekend's party, how gutted she is, that someone she thought was a friend has let her down, that she had an amazing party planned but someone is 'too up themselves' to help her make her daughters happy on their birthdays

I'm itching to reply to the post, but I'm moaning on here instead.

I'm not going to change my mind, I've said no for, IMO, very good reasons. She can still have the amazing party, she'll just have to pay for it

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 30/12/2017 13:43

If she can't understand that not all horses have the right temperament for being fussed and ridden by strangers and novices, I wouldn't trust her to arrange a safe bouncy castle party. What a dangerous idiot.

FrancisCrawford · 30/12/2017 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flumpybear · 30/12/2017 13:44

Crazy idea, I see either RSPCA for your poor pony, or law courts for bitten/kicked and rolled on kids

Stand your ground entitled parents like that need to pay real money to professionals with placid ponies

AnnieAnoniMouse · 30/12/2017 13:48

I don’t do Facebook, but it’s believe it’s incredibly easy to link a thread to your page....

Just saying...

diddl · 30/12/2017 13:53

I would also have had to say something.

It's hard to understand how anyone can be so entitled/stupid/clueless & actually get by day to day, isn't it?

Anyway, she doesn't have to cancel-just do something else!

If she really cares about her kids she'd dress up as a unicorn herself!

GissASquizz · 30/12/2017 13:57

Good on you. Horrendous idea for a party.

wednesdayswench · 30/12/2017 14:05

She sounds like a dick and clearly knows nothing about horses.

lunar1 · 30/12/2017 14:11

What an absolute cunt she is, I'd bloody string her up for acoustic no my child in the street like that. She's nothing but a bully.

My friend with thirty years riding experience was killed in a freak accident a few years ago by one of her most placid horses. I can't believe the party you are describing is actually a thing!

SideOrderofSprouts · 30/12/2017 14:12

Sounds like dd1 shared pony. She’s a lovey pony and loves all the family kids but anyone she doesn’t know she eye rolls and shies.

The companion pony is soft as shit that even the 2 year old can lead in yet has broken a family members wrist and my finger before

Pony are unpredictable big animals and can do a lot of damage.

You did the right thing

Hidingtonothing · 30/12/2017 14:26

Glad you replied to her fb post OP, you're totally in the right and she is indeed a CF. At least one of you is putting DC's safety above saving a few quid.

usernameinfinito · 30/12/2017 14:33

This is what happens when people think of animals as cute things like stuffed toys.

Well done OP, get rid of that CF. It was horrible of her to approach your DD and lecture her.

Notreallyarsed · 30/12/2017 14:38

If someone accosted my child and had a pop at them for not giving in to their demands a kick from a horse would be the least of their worries! Cheeky bastard.

I also have a real issue with people who pissfart around with animals to amuse themselves (dyeing/glittering/painting). Fucks sake they are animals, not fucking stuffed toys.

All in all OP, you handled it with aplomb. Stupid woman that she is.

MrsMozart · 30/12/2017 14:38

Definitely not BU!

Why are some people such thick and nasty eejits.

insancerre · 30/12/2017 14:41

I'd be tempted to tell her the latest trend is to have a decorate a car party
She's got a car hasn't she?
Let her DC cover that with glitter and paint

ghostyslovesheets · 30/12/2017 14:46

Dear Unicorn Twat Mum - I am hosting a New Years Eve party at your house tomorrow - I have posted on FB so anywhere between 2 and 5,000 people might attend

it's nice to share :)

love Horsey Mum

misscheery · 30/12/2017 14:48

So she PLANNED the fucking party AND invited people. FUCKING CF. And wery well done saying no, I couldn't ever think of throwing a party in which you annoy a poor animal! Gotta be kidding people, when did some people become SO stupid? Also go NC.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 30/12/2017 14:48

poster must be alive to receive prize

I knew there'd be a catch . . .

Beakyplinders · 30/12/2017 14:51

Your 'friend' sounds like a spoilt brat herself.

I guarantee she would be the first to complain if something went wrong and a child ended up hurt.

YADNBU.

CoraPirbright · 30/12/2017 14:52

I am suprised its still up on Fb!! She is going to be v cross when she sees it. If she apologised to you for her appalling behaviour before Christmas, I am surprised this is still rumbling on. Has she only just posted her PA post? I would add to your message that you did point her in the direction of a yard which does just the party she wants and ask why she didn’t contact them? We all know that she just didn’t want to cough up.

I rather hope that she comes across this thread and sees in black and white just how wrong she has been and how despicably she has behaved. She wouldnt be a friend of mine any longer, that’s for sure.

Mishappening · 30/12/2017 14:54

She was taking a lot for granted by arranging a party that hinged around you without talking to you to start with. Safety has to be the prime concern here.

Weedsnseeds1 · 30/12/2017 14:58

I have a cat that probably would let me cover him in glitter and stick a horn on him ( particularly if Lik-e-liks were involved), he's very tolerant.
But
a) he's not a bloody teddy bear
And
b) I don't let children play with him in case he gets hurt

Rossigigi · 30/12/2017 15:00

What a CF!!

First, I don't like these parties- ponies are not a 'fashion doll head' to do make up on and hairstyles.

Secondly, if I had a child who was invited to one of these parties, I would want to know the horse was 100% bomb proof, you had the correct insurance, and that you knew what you were doing.

She really was betting on you saying yes. I bet she told her daughter and friends it was all sorted, hoping that after your initial 'no' you would change your mind.

Good on you for taking the sensible route- and sticking to it!

Rossigigi · 30/12/2017 15:02

You should add a link to the Facebook post to this thread!

Rossigigi · 30/12/2017 15:03

No!! I meant add a link to this thread, to her Facebook post!
Oops wrong way around! Lol

Frouby · 30/12/2017 15:05

Ahhh OP.

We have had ponies forever. I was always getting accosted at the school gates for free pony rides etc. I always did what you did and give them the telephone number of the local riding school.

Pony/unicorn parties are a relatively new thing so haven't been asked for one of those yet as dd is 13 and past the school gates age thank fuck.

My favorite ask for free riding came from a mum who had just spent 10 minutes justifying her 5 AI holiday the same week and resort that we had booked a cheap and cheerful week at. Apparently she couldn't possibly manage in the local restaurants as she liked to get dressed up for dinner. And they were all designed for tourists. I said we couldn't have afforded 5 even if we wanted it and I was happy with our choice.

In the very next breath she informed me that she had rung the riding school and lessons were too expensive so little Jessica would still like a ride on dds pony thank you.

I think it went over her head when I said our yard was a 3* self catering and she wouldn't like it. The 2 other mums stood with us suddenly had a coughing fit and had to excuse themselves.