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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I'm not the bad guy here

445 replies

HorseCFery · 30/12/2017 11:00

I've name changed for this. I think the friend in question is a MNetter and I don't want it linked to other stuff I've posted

Just as a bit of background, DD2 has been horse riding for several years and earlier this year we were really lucky to be able to find her her first horse.

Anyway, friend has 2 daughters, quite a bit younger than mine. Both are mad about unicorns and horses - neither have ever had any riding lessons or anything like that.

Friend's daughters have birthdays next weekend, and friend asked me if they could have a unicorn/pony party using DD's horse - apparently you can buy unicorn horns and glittery shit for horses, invite a few friends and spend a couple of hours grooming horse, putting flowers, glitter and ribbons on her, and have pony rides on her.

I've said no. Mainly for safety reasons. Horse is amazing but she's not what I would consider a plodder/riding school safe. She's not overly patient with grooming and not suitable for young children who have never ridden before. She is as good as gold with DD, but I'm not happy with letting young, complete beginners on her, even with adult supervision.

There is another riding school down the road who do exactly what she wants, so I gave her all the details.

Friend had been a total pain in the arse about it. Even accosted DD in the street and gave her a lecture about being kind and sharing.

I spoke to friend the other day, made it clear I was pissed off, that I wasn't going to change my mind and to give it a rest. She apologised and I thought that was the end of it.

I'm just having a quiet mooch on Facebook and see a post from her - apologising that she has to cancel next weekend's party, how gutted she is, that someone she thought was a friend has let her down, that she had an amazing party planned but someone is 'too up themselves' to help her make her daughters happy on their birthdays

I'm itching to reply to the post, but I'm moaning on here instead.

I'm not going to change my mind, I've said no for, IMO, very good reasons. She can still have the amazing party, she'll just have to pay for it

OP posts:
yawning801 · 30/12/2017 15:16

Tell her that if she wants to be confronted with a bunch of angry mums and screaming kids with black eyes (courtesy of hoof in face) then she's welcome to the pony. But you won't be taking the blame.

PoorYorick · 30/12/2017 15:50

Tbh, OP, even putting the safety aspect aside, if you simply said that your daughter's horse isn't a toy, your daughter doesn't want to put her up for that treatment and you don't want to spend hours cleaning glitter and crap off the animal and yard, I think most people would consider that entirely reasonable in itself.

Spadequeen · 30/12/2017 15:59

Massive cf. I hope she is on mumsnet and sees this. I’m also glad you responded to her pathetic post on fb

isthismummy · 30/12/2017 16:04

YANBU at all op.

It's a safety issue. Your DD horse is not suitable (not many would be tbh. My horse would have a heart attack if you tried to put a unicorn horn on him!)

You did the right thing saying no. Your friend sounds like an utter dick. I wouldn't stoop to getting into Facebook wars, but I would definitely call her out in RL!

ReanimatedSGB · 30/12/2017 16:08

Some people are just utterly fucking dense. I wonder how many of the invited kids' parents were thinking, FFS that sounds a bit dangerous - or whether they are all as stupid as CF friend and don't understand that an animal is not a toy and may well hurt a child if it's provoked.

PoorYorick · 30/12/2017 16:18

I imagine the invited kids' parents assumed that birthday girl's mum was booking through a reputable organisation or with an individual who could be trusted to know whether the horse was suitable.

Original poster
HorseCFery · 30/12/2017 16:29

Thanks all!

Post has gone from FB. I turned off notifications so I don’t know whether anything else was posted.

Haven’t heard from her or anything.

OP posts:
TooManyPaws · 30/12/2017 16:33

FFS! If her daughters are so besotted with horses, why doesn't she just get them a riding lesson for their birthdays and they can learn how to behave around horses? Oh, yeah, that won't be free...

Pengggwn · 30/12/2017 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DreamyMcDreamy · 30/12/2017 17:28

Friend had been a total pain in the arse about it. Even accosted DD in the street and gave her a lecture about being kind and sharing.

Angry Your "friend" is being an utter dick. YADNBU. You're within your rights to say no, AND you gave her details where to get the "dress up pony party!" As an aside, totally with you on this anyway. It's a real life horse, not a bloody My Little Pony. Hmm Hate this type of thing.Saw someone advertise on our localr FB page and got suitably flamed!
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 30/12/2017 17:55

A few years back, I was driving on a fairly quiet road (one with traffic calming bollardy things, cars tend to bomb along)

There was a young lady whalloping her horse along. Dark road (trees/winter) dark horse (bay) rider had n lights or hi-viz.

I stopped my engine ( ex horse rider) while she booted and belted him along.............reason he was upset wasn't my car. It was a pair of fucking ANTLERS on his bridle Angry

Daft bint not only out on her own completley unprepared for the conditions but decided to turn her horse into a Santas Reindeer, which he was scared of.

Oh, and no hat either .

Namechangetempissue · 30/12/2017 17:55

Knew it would get deleted once she didn't get the "aww u ok hu?pm me!" and "rise above it babez, ppl are sooo nasty!" posts and when people liked your answer. Obviously didn't go the way she hoped!

Fluffyears · 30/12/2017 20:34

I have seen someone super experienced break her back when her horse got spooked. Luckily she recovered after being in a back brace for months.

monkeywithacowface · 30/12/2017 20:43

This would be the end of a friendship for me. Accosting your DD and then bitching about you on facebook? No coming back from that. I would be tempted to dress your horse up in glittery shit with your DD riding him dressed as a princess and sticking her middle finger up and post pictures on facebook though.

UnRavellingFast · 31/12/2017 00:53

MonkeyCowFace BRILLIANT idea 😂

ugghreally · 31/12/2017 01:30

She isn't a friend. There was a legal case a few years ago where friend rode another friends horse, fell off then the parents sued the owners who pretty much lost everything. It isn't worth the risk.

ugghreally · 31/12/2017 01:34

This is a link to article I mentioned www.google.co.uk/amp/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/10/18/paralysed-teenager-sues-boyfriends-mother-for-3m-over-riding-fal/amp/

You sound v sensible

gingergenius · 31/12/2017 01:51

I've been rolled on l, bucked off, stamped on, pinned, bitten, squashed and kicked in the ribs by horses since I was 10. They're animals, not robots and there's a reason the local stable charges £200 - cos there's a risk involved concerning another living creature who may or may not like what they are expected to do.

She's a twat.

You're brilliant!

NewNameWhoDis · 31/12/2017 01:51

Ohh she will message you at some point no doubt. Brace yourself for cheeky fuckery galore.

Original poster
HorseCFery · 31/12/2017 09:30

Thank you all!

I've not heard anymore about it. Nothing at all from her.

We're supposed to be going to a mutual friend's NYE party tonight so we'll see

There were a few U OK hun posts on her status, someone said I was selfish, another said I was horrid for disappointing young children, then the inevitable 'posh toff' bullshit. It all went a bit quiet after I posted though

I just can't understand why someone would think this is a good idea. I don't mind her asking, but to keep going on about it after being told it's not safe baffles me.

The local riding school do it with their old duffer riding school ponies, have fully qualified supervision and insurance. DD's horse is a 15hh cob with a fat ass and a mud addiction. It's an accident waiting to happen.

OP posts:
acatcalledjohn · 31/12/2017 09:46

'posh toff'

Grin

Totes selfish to deny some bratty kids parents the chance to fuck off a horse and risk serious injury.

If that makes you posh toff then so be it. I'd propose a toast to 'sensible posh toff' tonight.

CoraPirbright · 31/12/2017 09:46

Oh goodness - good luck tonight. Wonder how she will be with you. I would go all ice maiden on her ass. She’s a total bitch, collaring your poor dd in the street and being rude about you on Fb. Ghastly ghastly behaviour.

Shakey15000 · 31/12/2017 09:55

Good luck tonight!

rainbowstardrops · 31/12/2017 09:59

It’ll be interesting at the party tonight! GrinWine

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 31/12/2017 10:01

Ahhh 15hh cobs with fat arses do not want to be Unicorns.......if you offered him Pegasus Wings he'd bite you hand off (not literally) and start singing that dreadful 'Orville the Duck' song I wish I could fly right u to the sky but I can't ('cos I'm a fat arsed cob) .
Love cobs they're solid and dependable , good legs but a bit of a twinkle in their eyes Grin

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