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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I'm not the bad guy here

445 replies

HorseCFery · 30/12/2017 11:00

I've name changed for this. I think the friend in question is a MNetter and I don't want it linked to other stuff I've posted

Just as a bit of background, DD2 has been horse riding for several years and earlier this year we were really lucky to be able to find her her first horse.

Anyway, friend has 2 daughters, quite a bit younger than mine. Both are mad about unicorns and horses - neither have ever had any riding lessons or anything like that.

Friend's daughters have birthdays next weekend, and friend asked me if they could have a unicorn/pony party using DD's horse - apparently you can buy unicorn horns and glittery shit for horses, invite a few friends and spend a couple of hours grooming horse, putting flowers, glitter and ribbons on her, and have pony rides on her.

I've said no. Mainly for safety reasons. Horse is amazing but she's not what I would consider a plodder/riding school safe. She's not overly patient with grooming and not suitable for young children who have never ridden before. She is as good as gold with DD, but I'm not happy with letting young, complete beginners on her, even with adult supervision.

There is another riding school down the road who do exactly what she wants, so I gave her all the details.

Friend had been a total pain in the arse about it. Even accosted DD in the street and gave her a lecture about being kind and sharing.

I spoke to friend the other day, made it clear I was pissed off, that I wasn't going to change my mind and to give it a rest. She apologised and I thought that was the end of it.

I'm just having a quiet mooch on Facebook and see a post from her - apologising that she has to cancel next weekend's party, how gutted she is, that someone she thought was a friend has let her down, that she had an amazing party planned but someone is 'too up themselves' to help her make her daughters happy on their birthdays

I'm itching to reply to the post, but I'm moaning on here instead.

I'm not going to change my mind, I've said no for, IMO, very good reasons. She can still have the amazing party, she'll just have to pay for it

OP posts:
LostMyMojoSomewhere · 30/12/2017 12:31

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

pictish · 30/12/2017 12:31

As an asides...I can't imagine any pony questioning their integrity as a pony owing to a glittering.

chocolateworshipper · 30/12/2017 12:31

Tell her your friend Tamara advised you not to do it

www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/3991990/tamara-ecclestone-daughter-sophia-unicorn-horse/

Solly76 · 30/12/2017 12:32

One of the cheekiest and rudest things I've seen on here.
How dare you be so up yourself that you don't want to risk children being injured and your horse being distressed! Not to mention you getting sued if something happened. How dare you think that's more important than this friends chance to show off about what a wonderful birthday party she planned.
Think this is a friend who can be dropped.
I'm sorry you're having to put up with this nonsense but you are definitely not the villain here.

Jaxhog · 30/12/2017 12:35

You are so not the bad guy here
This
YANBU, with bells on. Not on the horse, obviously.

Bluntness100 · 30/12/2017 12:35

Good response to her. I'd follow it up with a link to the other yard and saying you don't need to disappoint your kids, as stated from initial request, out horse and yard isn't feasible for safety purposes, but these guys provide the service you're looking for.

The reason her kid isn't getting her party is because she won't pay for it. I'd shame her on it after what she has done to you.

This woman has no respect for animals and even less for her friends. I'd twist the knife now personally to ensure she learns a lesson.

C0untDucku1a · 30/12/2017 12:37

troodie Grin

JustAnIdiot · 30/12/2017 12:39

She's deranged! Well done for posting a reply - you were remarkably restrained!

khajiit13 · 30/12/2017 12:39

Good response OP. I'd have cracked to. How bloody cheeky of her!

Hygge · 30/12/2017 12:41

Just agreeing with everything that has already been said.

Your horse isn't a toy. She shouldn't expect it to be treated as a little girls dress up doll or want to cover it in glitter.

Glitter could irritate the horse if it eats it, breathes it in, or gets some in it's eyes or ears.

Being pawed over by a group of overexcited little girls could stress the horse out.

She's not giving a shit about the welfare of the horse and so shouldn't be allowed near it.

She shouldn't be teaching little girls that animals are just things that can be decorated for fun.

She should take no for an answer.

She shouldn't be harassing a child in the street about being nice and sharing. She had already been turned down by the child's parent, and again she's treating the horse as a thing not a living being.

Given that she's being a spectacular cow about this, couldn't the children just strap a unicorn horn to her head and eliminate the need for a horse at all?

justilou1 · 30/12/2017 12:46

She's organised it all BEFORE she asked you, and now she's trying to scapegoat you to cover her arse. Glad you posted on her facebook. She's a CF!

Snowman123 · 30/12/2017 12:46

Your pony, your decision, YADNBU.
How bad would you feel if someone got hurt? The yard that does provide the service will be picking their most placid ponies for this job, be supervised by experienced staff members and will have risk assessments (and insurances) in place.
The good thing here is that usually people this entitled eventually hang themselves.....as has happened with her FB post where she's now been made to look a right royal arse. I'm with whoever said it will be deleted soon............. x

DoculamentDoculament · 30/12/2017 12:47

No you're not the bad guy.

Tell her to get on all fours, stick a unicorn on and have kids plait her hair and ride her.

Father Dougal rode an old man for an hour in Father Ted Grin.

Situp · 30/12/2017 12:48

I was in a church choir when I was younger and had to sing at the funeral of a 3 year old girl who was killed by a horse which kicked out whilst she was letting it with her dad and sister.

I love horses but they are big and strong and if not properly managed they are potentially lethal and people who don't know horses often forget this.

I would never allow my child to attend a party like this unless it was very carefully managed. A friends mother rocking up with a load of kids to decorate a horse she doesn't know sounds like an irresponsible and dangerous plan for a party.

YANBU

GreenTulips · 30/12/2017 12:49

Can you imagine if you swapped 'horse' for 'dog'?
'Can we borrow your dog for a petting party?' 'Lots of little girls to brush him and play his fur?'

What makes her think a horse is any different? Seriously unhinged.

Has she replied OP?

Situp · 30/12/2017 12:49

Petting not letting

Cagliostro · 30/12/2017 12:49

Under the circumstances I think you were remarkably restrained

Thehogfather · 30/12/2017 12:50

Yanbu.

Ywbu to block her on Facebook though. Wait till she next posts about a holiday, expensive day trip etc and comment how disappointed your dd is that unicorn twat isn't sharing and paying for dd to go. Or maybe text her like she's a free uber, and then post passive aggressive messages about how selfish she is not to use her car & petrol to save you time & money.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 30/12/2017 12:50

I read that Tamaras DD wanted "A Unicorn" in the final door of her mahoosive Advent (there was a puppy behind one door but they have a live-in kennel hand for their dogs so the Puppies As Presents probably don't figure in their rational)

And didn't Katie Price come under fire for spraying glitter or stars on one of her horses?

Own-A-Pony days were really in when I used to go to the stables, and the ponies used to go off on holiday to a stables where they were looked after and spoiled by children who wouldn't have the chances otherwise. The worst they had to put up with was some excessive grooming and a tail wash though Grin

Unicorn Parties though are something else!

ittakes2 · 30/12/2017 12:52

I'd be tempted to post something passive agressive on Facebook about insurance and safety....and the link to the riding school which offers parties! Something like...Good news! Jus because my insurance won't cover the party....you don't have to cancel because the local horse riding school offers the party that you want!

LazyDailyMailJournos · 30/12/2017 12:55

I'd have been tempted to include a link to this thread as well...

KeepServingTheDrinks · 30/12/2017 12:55

Please let us know how the FB trail pans out

Piffle11 · 30/12/2017 12:57

She's not a mate, she' an entitled CF who obviously started planning her party without your consent if she's had to cancel it ... it's a horse, not a stuffed toy. You gave her an alternative, she declined. You were honest with her, she's repaid you by having a go at your DD and bitching about you on FB. I'd call her out on the FB thing - if she's as passive aggressive as she sounds, she'll probably say it's about someone else - but I would be taking a massive step back from her. You're not the bad guy by any stretch of the imagination and I'm glad you stuck up for yourself, your daughter, and her horse!

wibblywobblywoo · 30/12/2017 12:58

I'd have cracked too OP! What a cheeky fucker she is!

Remember, you have not 'let people down' - everything she promised to others was done either before she'd even asked you or after you'd said No.

And as for accosting your DD in the street to berate her about 'sharing and being kind' Angry Angry Angry

Apart from the irritation of being subjected to her Cheeky Fuckery you can at least rest easy OP that you are 100% in the right.

TitaniasCloset · 30/12/2017 13:01

Has she replied yet to your fb post? Lunatic woman.

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