AIBU to refuse to use my free delivery to buy dd (17) a top that I hate?

[pauldacresmellsoffarts]

DD would pay me back, but I hate it. It's cut basically down to the navel. I'm not going to stop her buying it or wearing it, she's 17, if she wants to she can. But I have annual free delivery from the online shop she wants to order it from, and if I don't order and she wants it, she'll have to pay nearly as much as the top costs just for delivery.

So AIBU not to order it for her? I don't really want wear her going out on New Year wearing something that looks like it's a bit risque for Kim Kardashian. Sure, if she wants to wear it she can.

But I don't see why I have to faciliate it!

I’d would get it but through gritted teeth !

Boo at last some sense. As an ex clubber I can confidently assert that wearing revealing clothes gets you more attention, leering, gropes etc. Not victim blaming; I've been raped myself, and I was wearing baggy clothes, but on nights out, in my experience, tight fitting revealing clothes brought me shitloads of unwanted attention and touching from men. And I wouldn't want that for my dd. The op is correct in my opinion.

as long as she doesn’t have a big belly she’ll look gorgeous

Made me sad reading that

Yes her body shape is irrelevant

The top is trashy and tarty. Are we not allowed to say those words anymore? I would be shocked if I saw a 17 year old child dressed like that and would make a lot of unspoken judgements and inferences.

So would most people folks, and you know it.

The toilet thing is a good point - who would want to undress in a filthy club toilet?

It also makes the models breasts sag and her bum look huge - thats what thongs do. As I said, horrible clothes are a teenage rite of passage.

Just order it.

Or at least tell her that that site is doing £1 next day delivery for one more hour.

Hate women being blamed for male sexual violence.

im all for wearing what you want, however I will be teaching my daughter to respect herself, why have your tits and arse hanging out in a top that's evidently not comfortable?
it makes you look desperate, and like there's nothing else to offer so here you go look at my boobies instead.
you can look hot and attractive but like you respect yourself at the same time and you don't have to be covered head to toe but that top is horrid.

sorry I'm not 'cool'

This thread is utterly depressing.

She will get the top anyway , maybe she will shop lift it as many teens do

And if you prevent her wearing it she will leave the house in modest clothes and then change into it

Let her have the top and instead have a sensible chat about safety , consent and how men really cannot be trusted

I wish I had learnt that when I was a teenage girl . The clothes will always stress the parents in my day it was hot pants and vests / plus ca change !

"She will get the top anyway , maybe she will shop lift it as many teens do "

Op has already ordered it!

Disgusting to suggest that Op's daughter would shoplift.

(Plus it might be online only)

I can’t understand why this top has a bottom part that sticks up your bum.

The top isn’t as shocking as I had imagined. As someone has already said it’s quite like a swimming costume from the front. Yes it’s a thong back but she’s wearing a mini skirt so no one gets to see that as a matter of course.

Some of the views on here are genuinely shocking.

Ahh she's going out as a dirty disco promo girl.

Can she do stilts too? I'm always impressed by the ones walking around on stilts. An amzing skill set.

Sorry for suggesting OP daughter is a tea leaf

That’s one foxy top

Kind of glad I had my youth when I did

I have several crotch fastening tops. I never undo them or remove them to use the loo, I just pull them to one side.
Not uncomfortable at all.

I'd say ' you'll be nice and warm in that vest, what top are you going to wear?'

seriously though, I would not worry about her safety really but more about how she would be viewed by others .Cheap, desperate for male attention, lack of self respect, low self esteem

Why do we teach our young daughters to wear clothes as an attention seeking activity? This is certainly not about rape etc, but it is sending out certain signals to males and females. This is not empowerment, it is degradation made socially acceptable.

Glad you let her order it. If she is quite busty some tape would help ...

Cheap, desperate for male attention, lack of self respect, low self esteem

Oh sweet Jesus ! It’s the fashion . Most bloody girls wear this stuff if you go to a bar or club . I don’t especiallly like the Kardashian fashions but I Really dislike that comment

You must live somewhere like Sunderland - 17 yo girls certainly don't wear that here!

Lol, you're right about Sunderland, I visited a friend there and the sights I saw there were unforgettable, sadly.

The top in question would probably be considered demure there!

Just to update...

'The top' turned up just in time and...didn't fit dd.

Phew. Apparently 'too wide', whatever that means. She went out in a jumper and leggings, think was going to borrow something off a friend. As apparently, none of the other dozens of bodycon dresses or low cut tops she already owns could be worn 'because she'd worn them to a party once before'!

No idea why my dad imagines she needs to copy Kate Middleton in not re-wearing things, as we don't exact have the same budget as the Royal family!

Well, the result is that I have no idea what she wore. Not home yet. Did get a Happy New Year at midnight with some xs and exclamation marks, so assuming she had a good night...

PS Nowhere near Sunderland!