To call out my vegan friend?

[rubbishtalker]

I haven't known her very long, a few years. She is a work colleague. She is 'vegan' on social media, lots of photos and hash tagging and "cruelty free" style comments.

But a few months ago when we went out for a team lunch she ate pork. I've seen her eat cheese, chocolate etc before.

AIBU to comment something along the lines of ' I love how you see vegan meals as a healthy aspect to your current diet'?? I am starting to find it irritating.

I've been vegetarian for 37 years (I'm 51 now) and I get asked over and over "Do you eat fish?"
When I say "No" , I'm asked "So you're vegan "?

No.
People honestly don't know pescatarian/vegetarian/lacto-ovo vegetarian /vegan

At my DD school she had a 'debate' with a teacher who said they were vegetarian but ate fish because fish aren't animals.
DD said "Well they're not plants either" (DD is vegetarian since last 6 months)

More annoying for myself (while I'm quietly living my life) is someone saying "Well why aren't you vegan?" like my life choices have anything to do with them? ...and I don't know any vegans IRL .

I think OP, I'd grab the wrapper and proclaim "Ohh I didn't know Cadburys Dairy Milk was vegan now" and glare at her.

Though
The cheese might have been vegan
The chocolate might have been one of the dairy free ones?

The pork............ah you've got me there

I know one of these who's suddenly switched and is now berating people for eating meat, fois gras etc. But she still buys shiny leather handbags and shoes and eats chocolate and the odd steak.

If you want to be vegan fine but don't berate everyone else who isn't when you are not when it suits you!

And people wonder if the population is dumbing down?

You cannot be a vegan or whatever 90% of the time, you either are or you aren't, it's a way of life and you cannot pick and choose when you are vegan or not.

Fucking hell, why is that so difficult to understand?

Oh and the cow rape! Roaring

Well, it's not really untrue though. Cows are repeatedly inseminated to keep them producing milk and after giving birth, their calves are removed from them, causing them distress. It is a cruel industry, there is no doubt about that. For most people though, this does not stop them from consuming dairy, but we may as well acknowledge what happens. I also wouldn't say it makes me 'roar' with laughter any more than I roar with laughter about battery hen farming.

I’m not sure why a few people have assumed anyone who thinks the cow rape is ridiculous doesn’t know how milk is produced? Most intelligent people know how milk is produced, it’s not a state secret.

Animals however, do not consent to sex and can’t be raped can they? In the wild MrBull would just hop on too.

I think people just need to be true to themselves. She is an occasional vegan, I guess.

I used to go out with a guy who couldn't drink milk, because of dairy. Used to make him feel bloated and ill, but hadn't had any tests to see if he was intolerant, fair enough, I guess

Such a song & dance was made when we went to a coffee shop, because they didn't have dairy-free milk, even though he had the choice to drink it black

Thing is, he had no problem wolfing down a cheese cake that I'd made him. So I just filed that experience and him under 'self-important drama queen'.

You cannot be a vegan or whatever 90% of the time, you either are or you aren't, it's a way of life and you cannot pick and choose when you are vegan or not

^this.

Which totally blows my theory out if the water!

See i’m considering going vegan but I know I will ‘fail’ at times. So if people ask I say I am trying to cut out dairy etc.. I hope no one would call me out on it if I don’t manage it completely

You cannot be a vegan or whatever 90% of the time, you either are or you aren't, it's a way of life and you cannot pick and choose when you are vegan or not

No, but you can eat 90% plant based and I don't understand why 'real' vegans would not be hugely encouraging of this rather than snarking over people using vegan and cruelty free hashtags. Any reduction in people eating meat and dairy is good for the planet and should be applauded, not ridiculed.

Why would they “call you out” if you’ve just told them you’re cutting down?

annoying - I know someone like this who isn't a vegan but is just the fussiest eater and most irritating person on the planet.

ignore if you can!

Oh and the cow rape! Roaring

Well, it's not really untrue though. Cows are repeatedly inseminated to keep them producing milk and after giving birth, their calves are removed from them, causing them distress. It is a cruel industry, there is no doubt about that. For most people though, this does not stop them from consuming dairy, but we may as well acknowledge what happens. I also wouldn't say it makes me 'roar' with laughter any more than I roar with laughter about battery hen farming.

I met a rural vet when I was introduced to some people at a work event recently, he was no vegan but was very clear that the dairy industry in the UK is inherently cruel to the animals.

I hope no one would call me out on it if I don’t manage it completely
They will if you dare to show any interest in veganism on social media. I think many people feel so uncomfortable about having their eyes opened to the cruelty of farming that they become aggressively defensive about it.

If cats or dogs were treated like cows and sheep and pigs there would be a fucking massive outcry.

I guess it's like people who talk a good diet. The ones who can tell you how many "sins" or calories or carb levels of your lunch, but then decide to be a bit "naughty" and have a little bit of cake because it's Karen's birthday/it's Christmas/a touch won't hurt.

People who are "naturally slim" just eat the same way, but without the drama as that's normal eating to them, not a special diet, that sometimes will "slip" back into old style "normal eating".

The OPs colleague is obviously still at the stage where it takes effort to be vegan. This isn't normal or natural for her, this is a diet that requires self control and self denial. After a few years, it might change to just being how she eats, not something that requires effort and is not noteworthy enough to require motivational messages.

Bloody annoying to have to deal with in the transitional stage though.

Hide from social media. Best to not have work colleagues on there anyway. Keep social media for private life and work and home life separate.

Agree with DreamyMcDreamy, you'd have your tea/coffee black if you were genuinely a vegan, without even having to weigh up other options because there wouldn't be any there.

I'm not vegan or vegetarian but I will only drink skimmed milk, no other sort. If it's not available, I have tea/coffee black. No fanfare, that's just the only option for me.

OP, maybe hide them or delete them from social media. You wouldn't see annoying crap then. It really does seem to be the devil's playpen.

"I'm cutting down on the amount of dairy/meat I eat" - fine
"I'm vegan" and eating a bacon butty/ having milk in your tea occasionally - not fine

It's pretty simple isn't it?

But when eating out if I ask for the vegans option that would be seen as making a statement...

There are already terms for 90% veganism:

• vegetarian
• pescatarian
• omnivore

90% vegan is an oxymoron

Yes OP - I have a friend like this. Vegan and preachy (I have had to unfollow on Facebook to stop seeing videos about pigs and cows) except when he's on holiday (at least 6 weeks a year).

I think there are many problems with the dairy industry and their treatment of cows/ calves. However hysterically and inaccurately calling it cow rape on social media just makes them sound thick.

"I'm vegan" and eating a bacon butty/ having milk in your tea occasionally - not fine

Fine with me. Bit weird, but nothing wrong with weird. I don't really get this obsession with labelling and 'being true to yourself'. Meh - just get on with living one's own life and let other people do the same.

It’s called ‘virtue signalling’ and it’s endemic on social media, sadly. So much easier than actually making tough choices in your own life, practicing what you preach and sticking to it.

Plus I am stating I am cutting down rather than trying to go vegan because of the potential to be judged if I slip up... surely any attempt if honest is better than nothing