To call out my vegan friend?

[rubbishtalker]

I haven't known her very long, a few years. She is a work colleague. She is 'vegan' on social media, lots of photos and hash tagging and "cruelty free" style comments.

But a few months ago when we went out for a team lunch she ate pork. I've seen her eat cheese, chocolate etc before.

AIBU to comment something along the lines of ' I love how you see vegan meals as a healthy aspect to your current diet'?? I am starting to find it irritating.

Two different points here so higlighted individually.

Fine, but how can you not agree that it is better that someone eats plant based for 90% of the time than to completely reject plant-based eating because it seems too extreme?
I do agree that it's better that people eat plant based and vegan for most of the time. Just don't say you're a vegan if you're not though.
Most of my meals are plant-based and can be eaten by vegans.
That's good,as I'm not a vegan but do eat a lot of vegan food so always on the lookout for vegan recipes, so if you have any definitely hashtag them as so if they are as I'll be wanting them if they are vegan recipes!
People who think veganism is a diet though, no, it's not.

I find it odd that we describe a meal without meat as 'vegan'. We wouldn't describe a meal with meat as 'carnivore' would we?

IMO unless you NEVER eat meat or dairy you are not a vegan, anytime that you eat a meal that doesn't contain meat or dairy you are not 'eating vegan' you are simply eating a meal that doesn't contain meat or dairy.

I find it odd that we describe a meal without meat as 'vegan'

A meal without meat wouldn't be vegan. Is macaroni cheese for example vegan?

I meant meat or dairy

I meant meat or dairy

A meal without meat or dairy/eggs is vegan though.
I sometimes think that people (in general, not you) hear the word vegan and screech in protest automatically.
Plenty of things are vegan like beans on toast but if you said you were dishing up vegan they'd automatically moan even though they love it really.
Have come to the conclusion, don't say it's vegan even if it is and everyone's happy lol.

I find it odd that we describe a meal without meat as 'vegan'. We wouldn't describe a meal with meat as 'carnivore' would we?

we call you "omnis"

Tbh I relate to this a colleague of mine dictates where we can and cannot eat on team events as she's vegan gluten free and everything else free yet eats choclate & the cakes when she feels like

It's people like your colleague then that people have a problem with.
If you're apparently gluten and vegan and go scarfing the cakes and the chocolates (dairy ones), then dictate where people can eat - just no.

Very hypocritical, very preachy. Do as I say, not as I do. Yes people do fall off the wagon, or make mistakes, but don't boast on Facebook, be quiet about it!

@AnneLovesGilbert I think we may have the same friend!

Just unfriend her? You'll only make yourself look like a bitch if you try and publicly humiliate her.

So when can you call yourself a vegan? If you slip up and eat a burger once is that it forever, or do you get to call yourself vegan again after some pre-determined amount of time?

I promote the idea of having less sugar but when nobodies around, I'll stuff my face with a box of chocolates.

I think there's a word for that....... Hypocrite!

I'd just take a group photo, with the pork showing, and put in on FB like a normal group shot. No comment required.

Just igore. My bil girlfriend is like this. Actually she has all kinds of issues. Apparently both her and her son are lactose intolerant but she forgets this when posting pictures of the cream cakes they both eat. We are all waiting for her to trip up its one lie after another but we are keeping quiet atm. I just keep my distance

I dont think that sharing vegan messages on social media is neccessarily the same as claiming you are, yourself, a vegan. Plenty of people share stuff about their thoughts and ideals even if they dont quite live up to the image themselves.
Besides, veganism is quite togh, imo. I have made some attempts at it. I believe the meat and dairy industries/ animal farming are cruel and that upsets me but it has been a challenge and sometimes i have failed.
I don't think that you are this woman's friend and i think it would be unreasonable and small minded to "call her out"

A person can only call themselves vegan if they stop consuming or wearing any animal products at all. If they 'slip up' and eat a bacon butty/omelette/scrambled egg on toast/crackling, or wear a leather jacket/shoes etc, then they're not a vegan. They are still an omnivore.

Unfortunately it seems that people don't realise when they are being hypocritical/contradictory, until it has been pointed out to them. Then they get upset over something that THEY'VE said and done.

I would call her out on it and put anyone else straight, that decided to paint me as causing trouble. If people don't engage in those trouble-causing/hypocritical actions in the first place, there'd be nothing to point out to folk, and people would go about their merry way as usual.

The cruelty free vegan thing bugs me as well. Essentially their solution to cruelty is the mass execution of all farm animals.

I wouldn’t say anything in FB (too much scope forher to play the victim) But I have to say I would probably make a comment next time I see her eating meat or dairy.

I have a few friends or who vegetarian or vegans. They would truly not touched the stuff (meat or meat/dairy/eggs).
I’ve even known one to actually check labels of stuff I had brought. Irritating actually but at least he was true to his beliefs!

And actually I would expect a vegan to also forgo leather products (shoes, belts, bags etc...). After all it’s about using animal skin and being cruel to said animals.....

If you have seen this behaviour then others will have too, she will slip up majorly very soon .

This thread is HILARIOUS. Thank you so much OP for brightening up a miserable morning

Fruit cider you’re “ignoring you weren’t a farmer it would be beastality” comment has me roaring. Also the mad fake vegan colleague

I used to have a friend who was fake vegetarian. Personally I think people love to “belong” to something and therefore actively try and label themselves. It means try belong and also gives them a way of excluding others.

Oh and the cow rape! Roaring.

Really good point about labelling meals vegan though. You wouldn’t call pasta and tomato sauce a vegan meal, not sure why though (obv assuming it’s vegan pasta)

Has anyone already pointed out that lots of chocolate is vegan? Obviously not milk chocolate but most dark chocolate is. I realise the pork is another issue. Just saying.

I wouldn’t call her out. Just stop reading her FB posts. Even if she doesn’t do it 100% of the time, she is trying to do a good thing.

There are so many horrible people in this world. Why are you getting angry at someone who’s trying to be nice?

Eating vegan food when you can may be laudable (depending on your point of view), but it is not the same as being vegan.

Sharing anti-cruelty messages is fine for raising awareness, but don't try to guilt-trip people - especially if you're being a hypocrite.

OP, this pisses me off too. As does my 'vegetarian' acquaintance who eats fish and can't resist the occasional pork sausage. I wouldn't call a friend out in a confrontational way but I might be inclined to open this conversation if they were eating non-vegan/vegetarian foods in front of me.

I like vegan and vegetarian food. It doesn't make me a vegan or a vegetarian, though.