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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call out my vegan friend?

240 replies

rubbishtalker · 28/12/2017 22:29

I haven't known her very long, a few years. She is a work colleague. She is 'vegan' on social media, lots of photos and hash tagging and "cruelty free" style comments.

But a few months ago when we went out for a team lunch she ate pork. I've seen her eat cheese, chocolate etc before.

AIBU to comment something along the lines of ' I love how you see vegan meals as a healthy aspect to your current diet'?? I am starting to find it irritating.

OP posts:
GrockleBocs · 28/12/2017 23:44

I've got a loud vegan on fb but to be fair she is a proper vegan. And I've been a good vegetarian for over 30 years. I've never found it too hard. I'd struggle to be vegan for various reasons. So I'm not a vegan.

condepetie · 28/12/2017 23:44

I entirely agree with Tippz btw. You're either vegan or you're not. There's no "mainly" or "sometimes".

Same with "pescetarians" or "sometimes vegetarians".

It's a binary thing. On or off. Yes or no. If you eat meat, you're not a vegetarian.

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2017 23:46

I'm not sure why some people on this thread can't understand that it's the hypocrisy that's the problem.

Fine to be vegan, fine to try hard to be vegan and fall off the wagon.

Not fine to preach one thing and do another.

No-one's forcing her to post on FB about it, so if she chooses to do so, she might as well be honest.

In fact if she was honest about trying and failing at times, I expect her experience would be far more useful to those who may find themselves in the same boat.

DreamyMcDreamy · 28/12/2017 23:46

Tippz has a point,sorry. There's no trying to be a proper vegan.You either are or aren't.This coming from someone who eats meat/fish so I'm clearly not one.

DorisDangleberry · 28/12/2017 23:47

A vegan eating pork is probably a bit too flexible though!!

A bit like a Jew taking communion Grin

FireCracker2 · 28/12/2017 23:48

I really can't see what it has to do with you?

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2017 23:49

You're either vegan or you're not. There's no "mainly" or "sometimes"

True

Not having sex for a few months doesn't make you a virgin either Grin

Lashalicious · 28/12/2017 23:49

She’s probably trying to be as vegan as she can. I wouldn’t waste my time worrying about what she’s doing or not doing.

As an aside, I love milk. That is probably the one food product I could not go without....

Original poster
rubbishtalker · 28/12/2017 23:50

Yes it's the preachiness part of it which is shit. Why not post the occasional picture of a non vegan meal that you have cooked? And hashtag that #mainlyvegan or #partiallycrueltyfree

I'd fully expect someone to call me out on FB if I preached about too many cars being bad for pollution but then never took a bus and drove everywhere.

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Antheanna · 28/12/2017 23:50

I disagree with that because it assum3s that beimg vegetarian is an ethical decision. Im mainly vegetarian because i dont like cooking meat, never order it, dont want it really but i will eat it in somebody's house ifvit is served to me. I am creating more demand for vegan and veg options in restaurants. I dont label mysrlf in case it offends vegetarians but really ivshould be able to label my own diet without annoying strangers!

Tippz · 28/12/2017 23:50

@dreamymcdreamy

It's those who try to lay a guilt trip on you for eating meat then eat meat themselves the next time you're out and try to justify it that annoy me the most.

THIS ^

This is the salient piece of information that some people are choosing to ignore on here. Wink

VEGANS are not the problem, it's the annoying individuals who moan and rant and preach about being a vegan, when they are NOT one.

Funny thing is, that loads of people on here seem to know someone who claims to be a vegan, but is often caught eating something non-vegan.

DO NOT call yourself a vegan, and don't preach to ME about how appalling cows are treated for us to get their milk, (to try and make yourself look good!) and then go and stick cows milk in your Costa coffee.

Hypocrisy at its finest.

These people really DO need calling out, and knocking off their moral high horse!

Sparklesocks · 28/12/2017 23:53

@WorraLiberty

Lol! Grin

Tippz · 28/12/2017 23:53

I'd fully expect someone to call me out if I preached about too many cars being bad for pollution but then never took a bus and drove everywhere.

Excellent analogy @rubbishtalker

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 28/12/2017 23:54

Funny thing is, that loads of people on here seem to know someone who claims to be a vegan, but is often caught eating something non-vegan.

Loads of people on here claim to know someone who claims to be vegan but eats non-vegan things, yes.

ExtraPineappleExtraHam · 28/12/2017 23:55

I used to work with a vegan who would eat animal products 'if they were free' because that wasn't supporting the industry Hmm

DreamyMcDreamy · 28/12/2017 23:56

Better to eat vegan 90% of the time than not at all.

Being vegan isn't to do with not just eating animals and their produce though.
You either agree with eating them, or you don't.
If you occasionally think "I'm going to have some milk in my coffee" then you're not vegan.
It's not a diet. Such as low carbing as someone mentioned upthread. It''s a way of life. Where you want to have nothing that has contributed to animal cruelty in any way.
You're either vegan,or you're not.

DownstairsMixUp · 28/12/2017 23:57

Tbh I’d call her out, not being a bitch but I would say do you actually know what vegan is as you clearly aren’t? But then I don’t have non friends on fb so I wouldn’t have this problem

Tippz · 29/12/2017 00:01

I agree with @dreamy you CAN NOT be a vegan 90% of the time. WTF are people talking about?

You either ARE a vegan or you are NOT a vegan! Are people really not getting this basic fact?!

For the love of God, I despair sometimes I really do! Hmm

These are the same kind of plonkers who say they are vegetarians but eat fish! Confused Completely clueless.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 29/12/2017 00:02

I had a friend who completed a charity wall that we both did in a time that the world record holder in speed walking cpuldnt habe managed. Sge sgabed an hour off her actual time.

I didn't call her put tho I was sorely tempted to.

derxa · 29/12/2017 00:04

.

wherethevioletsgrow · 29/12/2017 00:07

You either agree with eating them, or you don't

Fine, but how can you not agree that it is better that someone eats plant based for 90% of the time than to completely reject plant-based eating because it seems too extreme?
Most of my meals are plant-based and can be eaten by vegans. Sometimes I will post them on instagram and use hashtags. I don't do this to preach in any way. I will never comment on someone's meat dishes and say that they are immoral. I do not call myself a vegan because I am not, but most of my food is food that vegans would eat. I think vegans need to encourage people to have meat-free days etc. By making it totally all or nothing, people are driven away and turned off plant based eating.

And as for people saying it is easy, I know at least two proclaimed vegans who will sometimes succumb to eating cheese. Eating is complex and for some people it is not possible to easily cut out entire groups of food.

And remember, someone hashtagging is NOT preaching unless they are actively telling people that they should not do x, y, z. Me posting a workout picture is not me telling people who don't exercise that they should hit the gym- it is something I am doing for myself- it is about me, not others. Publicly humiliating someone to prove a point is never nice and never necessary.

Tippz · 29/12/2017 00:09

@wherethevioletsgrow

I seriously give up

TRY

READING

THE

THREAD

ReanimatedSGB · 29/12/2017 00:11

Most people who are noisily vegan (whether or not they snarf a burger or two in secret) are tiresome attention seekers in other ways, too. They're the sort who bang on about the evils of car ownership yet scrounge endless lifts, bitch about other people being 'materialistic' when they live in a naice house they inherited, etc...

Original poster
rubbishtalker · 29/12/2017 00:11

This person has previously posted that we shouldn't give milk to children because of anti biotics and that she doesn't with her kids because she "cares about children", so yes I find her preachy and asking for it tbf Grin

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Original poster
rubbishtalker · 29/12/2017 00:13

Obviously the point being that not only does she give milk to her kids but she also has it herself LOL

OP posts:
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