To ask how I am expected to encourage walking if she won't walk?

[ChocolateTeddyintheMicrowave]

DD is 2.6 and has a hip dysplasia in both hips. I've been told the condition doesn't cause physical delay, but she didn't meet any of her physical milestones on time, she's been reviewed by a physio and paediatrician who both cannot see any other reason for a physical delay after full body X-rays, MRI scans and a CT.

DD only started walking at the end of April, just 2 months shy of her 2nd Birthday. When she walks she walks well, but the majority of the time she flat out refuses to walk. We've been told to "encourage walking where we can by not carrying her and to punish her for crawling where she can walk". We've also been told the condition doesn't cause any ill effects in the child and she should not suffer pain or stiffness.

Until the snow and ice set in DD was doing well and had gone days using walking instead of crawling compared to hours, and we hardly needed to pick her up. But now the very cold weather has set in we're back to square one. She's been lying in bed since she woke up screaming because I won't carry her, I've tried bribery, putting the heating on and just plain ignoring her but I'm going to have to pick her up soon as I need to go to the bank and the chemist in town, so we'll need to get dressed. Nursery said yesterday she hardly walked at all and was crawling everywhere, they have said they WILL not punish her for crawling as they're worried it'll discourage her from moving at all.

She has a speech delay and is struggling to tell us the problem so it's a bit of guess work but this is the only reason I can see her for her sudden problems. When I asked her orthopedic consultant and paediatrician they both said even if she would not walk I was to walk away and leave her crying, and to put her in a timeout if she crawls instead of walks, they said to be consistent and she'll get it eventually. They've said it's a behaviour issue NOT a hip dysplasia problem.

But nothings working. I've tried ignoring and she's still in bed after being awake since 8.30, and the time outs don't work as she doesn't understand why she's in it as she her she's just getting around. When i told the consultant/paeds this they both just shrugged and told me she had to walk as they'll be advising me to ditch the stroller when she gets to 3 and she can't crawl around outside safely. I've changed orthopedic consultant twice now and all 3 have said the same apparently it's the hospitals policy. And the paediatrician is good in all other areas so I don't want to change him unless I have to.

So what can I do? AIBU to carry my child when she's obviously struggling? and to not punish for her crawling instead of walking. It seems cruel to leave her crying in bed when I can do something about it.

I'm sorry but the advice you are getting from drs on hip dysplasia sounds really wrong to me. DDH does not fix itself at her age, it requires significant intervention. My daughter had a high hip dislocation on one side which was discovered when she was 3, she was compensating by walking on tippy toes on one side. She could not hop on the affected side. Her ball of her femur had effectively made its own socket higher up in the joint. Her hip joint needed to be rebuilt and her femur untwisted. It is totally feasible that if your daughter has bilateral DDH that it is causing her pain and is finding it difficult. You need a second opinion and I totally agree with the recommendation to contact Steps for advice. The earlier they treat DDH the better the outcome and I can't believe any ortho suggesting a watch and wait approach knows anything about DDH.

Have you tried paracetamol yet @ChocolateTeddyintheMicrowave ?

Kaytee Yes gave her a dose of calpol before she went to sleep, no idea what effect it's had but will try another dose after breakfast tomorrow. If it work I'll contact the GP next week and get it put on her notes so I've got further evidence if it's needed.

I'd give her it first thing when she gets up and maybe a (hot water bottle on her lower back) it's safe on an empty stomach. Paracetamol is a good painkiller but only if the full dose is taken regularly. Good luck for tomorrow.

kaytee I've also set for the heating to come on an hour before she normally wakes so that hopefully her rooms warm. Will definitely find my hot water bottle out for her.

Why don’t you get one of those micro scooters, for toddlers, to encourage her to walk ?

not I think she'd get frustrated with that, she kind of shuffles when she walks and can't do the scooters at Nursery. Thank you for the suggestion though

OP, I told you earlier about my son's trestment for hip dysplasia when he was a baby - back then it was called congenital dislocation of the hip. I meant to say that he then had slipped capital femoral epiphysis on his other hip when he was fourteen. At that age he was able to describe the pain and most pain was actually just above the knee. It's called referred pain and is common with hip problems. So your daughter may indicate she has a sore knee or lower thigh and it's actually hip related. Just mentionibg so you're aware.

I really hope you get it sorted.

aposttro Thank you, she doesn't even point to her hips/leg if she's in pain of any kind, she points to her (no idea why) so it's hard to know if she's actually in pain or not.

I think that you have to take a laid back attitude to this. Just because you are supposed to be encouraging her to walk does not mean you can never pick her up or let her crawl if she feels like it - I feel like it some days!

Seriously, there is a difference between encouraging her to walk and insisting that she does so on all occasions.

The more she sees that it is an issue for you, the less she will do it. There are some great ideas on here. Relax and good luck!

Mishappening I totally agree and from today have changed my attitude. For example while getting ready for bed I ask her to stand up when I need to pull her trousers up and she did it with a bit of help which was lovely. And she was carried through the bathroom which I'm fine with.

It felt wrong to punish her for it it went against my instinct.

My hip dsyplasia was not detected until I was 18. I limped and did not walk until 2.5yrs.

By the time they diagnosed me at 18 I had severe arthritis and needed an immediate hip replacement.

Twenty yrs on and I have had three bouts of major surgery, got significant scarring and its affected me greatly.

Good luck pushing for a referral. I wish my Mum had been more pushy

Get her toys she has to walk to operate and put away all the ones where she needs to stand or sit to work (at least for now). This might be a good time to get a puppy too, as she will want to walk or run after it.

Sorry OP. I meant the Micro ride on scooter. I have attached a picture. Or the Micro 2 Go.. I’m assuming she doesn’t have to do much scooting when on these.

Not They look good thank you, I will definitely look into one

Bechetdiagnosed

My younger sister is very similar to you except her hip dysplaysia 'clicky hip' as they called it when she was a baby was picked up but nothing was ever done for her. She was close to 3 when she finally walked and her hip has always caused her pain.
She finally could no longer bare it and could hardly walk anymore...long story short she has recently had major surgery and to be honest it hasn't really solved the problem so next step is hip replacement - she's only 24!

Op I can't believe no one is helping you, obviously your little girl is in pain, no child would sit in bed all day pretending, the poor love. I really hope you get the help needed soon, they need to fix the problem now so that she doesn't need double hip replacements in her bloody 20s!!

"encourage walking where we can by not carrying her and to punish her for crawling where she can walk".

Punish her? We're these really the words that were used or is that how you interpreted their comments?

ginger They definitely said punish her, they said to put her in a time out for crawling instead of walking.

Another encouraging standing suggestion - do you have an easel she can stand at to draw? If not tape a big bit of paper to the fridge and give her felt pens to scribble on it.

I have a tiny kitchen so not in the kitchen anywhere but can tape to the wall in the hallway or living room and do that thanks Apple

DS has a genetic condition that caused him to walk late/talk late/poor fine motor control etc. Good news is, at age 7, he has pretty much caught up.

If you can find a sympathetic gp or paediatrician, might be worth trying to get a genetic analysis done - convinced my gp to refer on when I made a list of all DS's weird issues (inc fear of hand driers ) in one place

@ChocolateTeddyintheMicrowave well that's a pile of old shit isn't it?. Jesus what do they consider to be suitable 'punishment' here? And frankly I'd be asking to speak to a supervisor or manager if that's how they view managing this.

Mrs my DD is scared of hand driers and hoovers.

Yes dd has some sensory issues regarding noise too (hand driers, auto flush toilets, any unexpected noise including wind/ passing cars - she had retained reflexes and her Moro kicked in which caused her to fall every time a car went by ) many kids with SN have sensory issues - nursery had to make provision for certain activities but she had 1-1 support anyway due to her physical and communication issues.
They do like to try the ‘no help and try and force them to walk’ thing the physio removes dd2’s walking frame when she was 3, which rendered her having to crawl. For a year. In the end it was just cruel - you can’t take away a disabled child’s walking aids and force them to crawl around. I appreciated the idea behind it - that it potentially could encourage effort towards independent walking - however she was receiving physio twice a week and had fuck all balance. After a year I demanded her walking frame back as she was way less independent than she had been a year before. She used it for another year and then used it outdoors only in y1.
I actually don’t mind a short period of ‘see how she does without x, y or z’ but it needs to be managed appropriately - a child who is unable to walk (for whatever reason) should not be punished for it.

The hot water bottle/heating/calpol worked this morning.

She had a bottle of warm milk in bed but then she rolled out and came crawling into my room (where I was getting dressed) and stood up to see what I was doing, yay .

I've been noting all this, what's working and what isn't so when we go to the consultant in a few weeks time we have the evidence we need.