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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is a birthday list at John Lewis the done thing for a 6 yr old ?

272 replies

katwith3kittens · 23/04/2007 17:11

I've just been told in the playground that one mummy who is having a joint birthday party with 2 other children has set up an account at john lewis so everyone can contribute to an expensive present for her child instead of bringing a gift on the day.

Not sure what the other 2 mums are going to do now.

Is this acceptable or just plain selfish ?

OP posts:
Summerfruit · 25/04/2007 12:22

Message withdrawn

fortyplus · 25/04/2007 12:24

One of my friends has her birthday on the 1st of the month, dh and ds1 on the 2nd! How's that for bad planning?

GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 25/04/2007 12:26

That's lovely. You will probably have more of an influence over him than his own parents then. I have a cousin who is like that. His parents divorced when he was about 11 and he ahd always been an 'odd' child. He seemed to spend alot of time after the divorce with my other uncle and aunt who have 2 boys very close to him in age. Whilst they too all have their failings, they are a very loving and close family and this has rubbed off on other cousin, who is now 21 and absolutely lovely-really affectionate and chatty (2 traits you could never have accused him of as a child). It is not always our parents who wield the most influence over us.

yeahinaminute · 25/04/2007 12:36

A friend of mine phoned me from her car last year as she had just picked her 6 year old DD up from a party and had to share the experience with me .....

The mother had 15 little 5 - 6 year old girls at the Royal Crescent Hotel for a spa pamper afternoon with tea after

The Party Bag??

A pink suede roll with little bottles of the products used and a voucher for £10 to put towards another pamper day !!!

Talk about raising the bloody bar !!

Gingermonkey · 25/04/2007 13:10

Jesus! And I'm moaning about DD wanting a disco!!!!!

NKF · 25/04/2007 13:13

I haven't read the whole thread but the original post staggered me. Please, don't let it become the norm.

NKF · 25/04/2007 13:15

Sorry, can't leave the subject alone. I think that buying a present for a child is part of the party experience. I know it sounds a bit pompous but I like asking my children to think about what another child might like and choosing a gift.

Gingermonkey · 25/04/2007 13:19

I'm with you there, my dd loves choosing things for her friends. She has a ten pound budget, which includes a card and wrapping paper. I think it teaches her how much things cost too, she no longer suggests ridiculous presents like she did when she was 6, now she suggests things that are sensible and the type of things her friends like.

Gingermonkey · 25/04/2007 13:21

she's 8 BTW (nearly)

Blackduck · 25/04/2007 13:35

This is scary....I was actually trying to politely find a way to say to DS's invitees please just buy a piece of wooden track (£2.00) or a Thomas book (£2.00) or his dad; is doing the Great North Run for Cancer Research so donate to that! May be I've got it all wrong

littlelapin · 25/04/2007 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wulfricsmummy · 25/04/2007 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NKF · 25/04/2007 13:41

Blackduck - I don't think donating to charity ever worries people but perhaps not for a child's party. After all, it's not a present for the child really. Track sounds like a good idea. It's a hint and the guest still gets to choose and so on.

I think the JL list just sounded so calculating and greedy.

MummyPenguin · 25/04/2007 13:43

How very London.

yeahinaminute · 25/04/2007 13:44

LL - yes - have a badly sprained ankle and a groin boil (just back from the annual girls weekend away !!) - but nonetheless still very much around !!!

3catstoo · 25/04/2007 13:46

6 wsan't too young for the charity concept. My dd was 5 when she went to these 2 parties and the children were 6 that were having the parties. My dd understood. It helped that one of them coincided with all the red nose day stuff.

We have received some crap over the years. It has always made me think twice about what I buy for others.

I don't think the thread was anything to do with John Lewis, more the idea of the present list for a child (can't find that posting now).

littlelapin · 25/04/2007 13:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yeahinaminute · 25/04/2007 13:47

Oh it wasn't ahem - transferred so to speak !!!

NKF · 25/04/2007 13:48

I agree with the poster who said that the problem could be avoided by having smaller parties. In my day (said in a quavering old woman's voice) it just wasn't the norm to have the whole class round.

Gingermonkey · 25/04/2007 14:05

And in my day you had some sausages on sticks, a jelly rabbit (with chopped jelly for grass round the edge) a dodgy cake your mum made (mine was always dodgy!) and some sarnies. You played musical statues, pass the parcel, and if it was nice weather ran about in the garden for a bit. I loved my birthday parties when I was little, I really wish they were the norm now. In fact, I'm taking a stand - my DD can have a disco,but it'll be in our house, with the CD player on and some flashing christmas lights. I'll close the curtains and turn the big lights off and we can play some party games. I bet it'll turn out to be the best party ever...maybe I'll let her have a sleepover too (or is that pushing it?)

speedymama · 25/04/2007 14:21

Gingermonkey, I think the tide is changing actually. Certainly in the USA there is a move to get away from the corporate, overpriced birthday party spectacles and get back to simple affairs at home, with a few friends, where parents use their imagination to make up games and children just play together and have a good time.

slowreader · 25/04/2007 14:26

Mine have had parties exactly like that GingerM, only we have had treasure hunts all through the house because winter birthdays rule out the garden. At the last one the treasure was a duvet case full of helium balloons. Kept them happy for the rest of the party. Only downside has ever been that afterwards the house looks like it has been ransacked.
Lots of people we know have similar parties- at the last a few weeks ago it was spag bol. hide and seek and the mum hair straighteners on the little girls hair. They had a lovely time.

Gingermonkey · 25/04/2007 16:12

Just picked DD up from school and asked her whether she fancied it, a disco at home and 8 (in total, including her) friends for a sleepover. Her birthday's until August, but because it's the school hols she has to make sure they are all free because of going away and stuff. I can't tell you how many times she's had half of her friends not turn up and she's been gutted! I try to be prepared now! Last year she had it on the last day of term, and that was more successful with people remembering to turn up! She's very excited!!! She's planning it now, I think I might book in to a spa a day or two afterwards tho (and maybe get a cleaning firm in!!!). I get very upset by mess so I will have to chill out, won't I?! Who can help me with party games ideas and things for an 8 yr old?

lucyellensmum · 25/04/2007 17:00

to OP: i think its pretentious and selfish, JL account for a 6 year old OMG. Its outrageous, what if you are strapped for cash. JL do do some great toys though but the point is that a £4 coulouring set from tesco should be acceptable, i think i would prefer dd to have lots of fun presents to open at the party than one big one, when it sounds like the spoilt little madam will have quite enough big pressies. Of course there is always the possibility that the poor cow is really poor and the parents see this as a way to get a decent pressie. I can also understand not wanting to have loads of tat but shes six, isnt that what they have? Still got boxes of rubbish from DD1

becaroo · 25/04/2007 18:48

I am horrified by this...yet another lifestyle trend coming over from the US?
My son is 4 in 6 weeks and when I asked him what he wanted for his birthday he said "a Dennis train please mummy"
(RRP about £10)
What ARE these parents thinking ????????