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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or is a birthday list at John Lewis the done thing for a 6 yr old ?

272 replies

katwith3kittens · 23/04/2007 17:11

I've just been told in the playground that one mummy who is having a joint birthday party with 2 other children has set up an account at john lewis so everyone can contribute to an expensive present for her child instead of bringing a gift on the day.

Not sure what the other 2 mums are going to do now.

Is this acceptable or just plain selfish ?

OP posts:

EHM · 23/04/2007 17:28

unacceptable John Lewis is expensive. Should be grateful for any gift received. Not setting very good example to child

foxinsocks · 23/04/2007 17:28

how hysterical

though I must admit, my first thought on reading your post was that I'd be relieved I didn't have to think about what to get the child

joint parties are a present nightmare though

Boco · 23/04/2007 17:34

my dd recently went to a joint party for 3 five year old girls. On the invitation they said that instead of having to buy three presents, just bring one and they'd share them all out at the end. I thought that was quite nice, you get so much crap after a party.

NadineBaggott · 23/04/2007 17:34

I'd deposit £2.50

EHM · 23/04/2007 17:35

boco that is a lovely idea, i like that very much

noddyholder · 23/04/2007 17:38

Shocking and a sad reflection of where our society is heading with its greed and materialism(is that a word?)Whatever happened to a small gift and just enjoying the day.I would be tempted not to go

tassis · 23/04/2007 17:43

I think a present list at JL is SHOCKING

Boco, I think that's a very sensible idea

yogimum · 23/04/2007 17:53

Whatever next? Sadly it will become the norm if we allow it! I'd apologise profusely and say you can't make that day. My sister hired a limo for her 10 year old dd. I was absolutely disgusted!

Original poster

katwith3kittens · 23/04/2007 17:54

Phheew... thought it was just me.

Now, not sure whether to admit this or not but I am one of the other 2 mums .

We had a 3 way party last year and I suggested that the presents were divided equally between the children but I was shot down by the other 2 almost immediately so I didnt bring it up this time, and yes, inevitably we got a load of crap.

I think I'm going to speak to the other mum and suggest we split presents.

My other option is to pull out totally which at least gives me some credibility in the playground, but with a new baby organising a seperate do seems a bit of a hassle.

Hey ho..... I'll keep you posted.

OP posts:

Gobbledigook · 23/04/2007 17:56

God, you're kidding?!

No, I've never heard of anyone doing this!

tassis · 23/04/2007 17:57

oh no katwith3

FWIW I don't think any of the mums in the playground will think any less of you...it's not your dd that has the list...i'd just try to rise above it, not enter into the slagging except maybe to raise an eyebrow...

Gobbledigook · 23/04/2007 17:58

We did a joint party last year - ds invited half and the other child invited the other half. People only brought a gift for the child that gave them the invitation (so same as splitting really except one was boy and one was girl).

foxinsocks · 23/04/2007 18:02

we had a joint party too one year - I told everyone only to buy one present and we'd split them at the end but for some reason, people still went out and bought 3 arrghh.

foxinsocks · 23/04/2007 18:05

you don't need to pull out - perhaps do what you are thinking, discuss it with the other mum and tell everyone just to buy one present and you'll split them between your 2 children.

(has John Lewis mum told the parents yet?)

Blandmum · 23/04/2007 18:06

have known people do joint parties, seems sensible.

But at the John Lewis list!

beckybrastraps · 23/04/2007 18:08

I know what you mean about all the crap, but I honestly think the best way to go about the present thing is just to do nothing. Yes, you will end up with mountains of tat (and some nice stuff too - ds got some great little presents last year), but no-one else has to worry about what they are expected to do.

InTheseShoes · 23/04/2007 18:19

I am in at a birthday present list at John Lewis - I think it's appalling! You definitely don't need to back out of the party though, people will know it's not you.

pickledpear · 23/04/2007 18:21

very shocked that mum got more money than sense she should have her own party so no one feels bad for not going to it i would choose not send my dd

jellyhead · 23/04/2007 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Themis · 23/04/2007 18:25

How much does the Mum expect to get to buy something from JL ?

I spend at the tops a £5 on a present for a childs party ( differnt if I knwe the child really well and was one of my good friends children ) usually get them from Tesco.

Like someone else said I would deposit £2.50 .

One thing a child likes to see when they are having a birthday is the children coming in with the presents , they may be crap and I suppose we shouldn't expect our kids to have presenst all the time but surely its taking the edge off the party for that child.

At the end of the party the other children will be going home with presenst and that child will have a nice set of cultery waiting for him at JL !

edam · 23/04/2007 18:33

Wow. If this child grows up expecting birthday lists at Johnny lou-lous, what on earth are they going to demand for their wedding?!

UtterPigsty · 23/04/2007 18:34

hahah

LINK to list

joash · 23/04/2007 18:34

Greedy cow IMHO

Blandmum · 23/04/2007 18:41

Ds got this for his birthday and it has been a fantastc sucess!

here

Ds hates painting but he loved sticking this together and painting it. The perfect toy for a small boy and better than any manner of over priced stuff from JL!

PS I've nothing to do with the company, I just thought it was such a fabbo toy!

UtterPigsty · 23/04/2007 18:58

we go that
ds didnt het fruther than getting allt he bits out and wandering off

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