Or is a birthday list at John Lewis the done thing for a 6 yr old ?

[katwith3kittens]

I've just been told in the playground that one mummy who is having a joint birthday party with 2 other children has set up an account at john lewis so everyone can contribute to an expensive present for her child instead of bringing a gift on the day.

Not sure what the other 2 mums are going to do now.

Is this acceptable or just plain selfish ?

Most I've ever paid was £29 per child for a go-karting party. But I'm usually more tight than that

That was pretty much my reaction after I'd promised him he could have it and I'd found out the price!

A birthday party is a fun get together - the presents are secondary. It is not an opportunity to fundraise for your child's toys.

I suppose it would be easier in some ways to by a present on line - Estimated cost for your child to attend birthday party less amount spent on said child at your child's last birthday plus the value of the present that they bought - that would do it.

fortyplus - I agree, and I think that there is a great case FOR presents when parents take the time to help a child choose a special present for a friend or relative. It's great learning opportunity to think of others, know their personality and do something to surprise and please them.

ooh I say toilet - it really annoys my mum

I say it sometimes, too!

MadamePlatypus - actually... how about taking it one stage further... tell everyone the cost per child of the party and tell them they can't come unless they bring a present of equal value!

Just charge them entry, refundable when the gift has been valued and sold on Ebay .

Profits to Mummy's purse

These days too many kids know the cost of everything and the value of nothing. It's madness. Buying into corporate, mass produced, birthday parties is wrong, wrong, wrong imvho.

Fortyplus - i agree - she probably could have worded it differently rather than make an assumption that everyone would be happy with the idea.

However, that being said, i have never been to a party without giving a present, so i'd probably make the same mistake as her in assuming that most people provide presents to the birthday child. Even if it is something small and simple like a yo-yo or a Mr Men book.

"These days too many kids know the cost of everything and the value of nothing. It's madness. Buying into corporate, mass produced, birthday parties is wrong, wrong, wrong imvho."

I agree- the most fun parties of my childhood were the ones where i helped my grandma bake my cake and we ran around the garden or played sleeping lions.

speedymama - my nephew (12) was looking at ear rings to buy his girlfriend. He saw some he liked for £10, but then found some he preferred for...

£400.

He was quite prepared to take the money out of his account and buy them.

My brother & his wife are quite materialistic - everything has to be the right brand.

They clearly haven't managed to give him any idea of the value of money.

£400 for a pair of ear-rings!!! I wouldn't even allow my husband to spend that much money on ear-rings for me!

Wow!

Am mightily impressed that he has managed to save up £400 at his age.

Yes - best parties my 2 have had involve pitching tents in the garden and having an outdoor sleepover.

The go-karting was great fun though - they could do 40mph!

Stigaloid - he's probably got thousands knowing them... They paid him £50 for each level 5 he got in his ks2 SATs.

Mine got 'Oh - did you? Well done, darling!'

Yes, fortyplus, but your children will grow up to be the better adjusted (and probably happier)

Words fail me.

Message withdrawn

GrumpyOldHorsewoman - funnily enough, he's a lovely kid and he asked me about a year ago if he could come to live with me because 'Everyone always shouts in my house'

Summerfruit - hope bump doesn't arrive early so they end up with the same birthdays!

I carefully planned ds2 so that his birthday is 6 months away from ds1

Your influence is obviously stabilising, fortyplus. At least you can be a good mentor for him.

I try to be - we're very fond of each other. He still gives me a big hug & a kiss every time I see him, even though he's a big boy of 12! He is exactly half way between my 2 in age, so they have always been very close - there's only 18 months between mine.

Since he went to secondary school we only see him during the holidays apart from very occasionally at the weekend. He worries a lot about his mum & dad. His mum is very volatile and my brother works long hours and is away a lot on business, so I think he thinks of us a bit of a 'safe haven'.