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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is a birthday list at John Lewis the done thing for a 6 yr old ?

272 replies

katwith3kittens · 23/04/2007 17:11

I've just been told in the playground that one mummy who is having a joint birthday party with 2 other children has set up an account at john lewis so everyone can contribute to an expensive present for her child instead of bringing a gift on the day.

Not sure what the other 2 mums are going to do now.

Is this acceptable or just plain selfish ?

OP posts:
noddyholder · 23/04/2007 18:59

My dp calls people who do this sort of thing The Dunalrights!

chocolattegirl · 23/04/2007 19:14

I don't spend more than about £5 on a birthday present for a child who isn't related to me. Where dd has gone to a joint party, I've bought gifts for both children (where she's known them both) as it didn't seem right otherwise and they were about £2.99 each in Tescos. Sorted.

Judy1234 · 23/04/2007 19:18

We had one who asked for money (cash) to put towards his new cricket equipment or something.
A lot of money can be wasted on presents no one likes never mind cards.

JetPeanut · 23/04/2007 19:29
frankielamb · 23/04/2007 19:34

I buy alot of birthday presents through book clubs that come to work.Just bought 6 books for £5. but RRP of one is £4.99. give 3 looks like youve spent £12. only spent £2.50
Keep next3 for next party.
Can not believe jl list whatever next.....
paties at the Ritz..

nickytwotimes · 23/04/2007 19:36

a jl birthday list? are they taking the piss?

btw, some beautiful emoticon configurations below!

Dimpled · 23/04/2007 19:41

WTF!

JetPeanut · 23/04/2007 20:01

Why thank you nickytwotimes. Thank goodness it got a mention, it took me long enough!

mustrunmore · 23/04/2007 20:10

Things like this just fill me with dread at the thought of the ds's growing up

LittleEgg · 23/04/2007 20:21

Yes it is practical and yes you can get something nice with the money, but IT IS STILL WRONG WRONG WRONG. As others have said, half the fun of having a party is getting lots of presents. Even if they are crap. And then you recycle those presents and give them to all your DC's friends at their parties.

agnesnitt · 23/04/2007 20:27

My daughter got a party invite the other day from a friend I've not been able to see for a while. Rang her up to have a good chinwag, and asked her what her son would like as a gift. She told me to bugger off, and that the party was a shindig so the kids could drive each other mental and not her for a change. I eventually got her to concede that her son is very into books and wouldn't say no to a new one. That's the way we do things in my neck of the woods. I'm glad we haven't got a John Lewis, or I might have to start selling organs to fund the birthdays

My only trauma now is to figure out what books boys like, as I've not done buying books for them before...

Agnes

Lullabyloo · 23/04/2007 20:35

hmmmmmmmmmm....firstly ...hope this doesn't set the trend for store lists included in with birthday invites so we can peruse online what delightful gifts we have the chice of buying for the birthday boys & girls.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...how awful

expatinscotland · 23/04/2007 20:35

OMG! How tacky and bourgeois!

Are they for real?

nickytwotimes · 23/04/2007 20:36

jet, it could take the Turner prize this year...

Taylormama · 23/04/2007 20:37

WTF - are they getting married and at such blatent materialism - send a donation to a local children's charity instead and tell the mums what you have done

Rachmumoftwo · 23/04/2007 20:55

I am deeply shocked! What does she normally get other kids for their birthdays? I would love to know. Ask her for Thomas Cook vouchers I dare you!

TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 23/04/2007 20:56

I'm not keen on that idea. I think it's good for the DCs to help choose a present that the birthday child might like. It encourages lots of important social qualities, such as consideration for others and why people have different likes/dislikes.

A list is just a cop-out. And as Expat said, having it at JL is very bourgeois. If they are saving for cutlery, I'll bet it's fish knives

rabbleraiser · 23/04/2007 21:00

Fucking extraordinary!

Someone had to swear. Someone always does.

Don't go, OP. Rise above it ... you're better than this!!

bran · 23/04/2007 21:01

DH is sniggering at the idea of a JL birthday list. He reckons that kw3k should definitely pull out of the joint party as not a lot of people are going to turn up anyway.

Wotzsaname · 23/04/2007 21:02

what a sad thing to do. I ask my dc what their friends would like, that's part of them being a friend, to find out what they like and to know them.

I wouldn't take part, for me it would not be acceptable and my dc probably wouldn't want to go without taking a present.

willywonka · 23/04/2007 21:05

If receiving a pile of crap is not what you want, ask for donations to be made to a charity of the child's choice - would be a really nice thing for the child to be involved with.
katwith3kittens - would it be possible/reasonable for this request to be extended to all three children? You could perhaps still ask the mum of each respective best friend if they would mind bringing a small gift rather than making a donation so that each child still had something to open or perhaps the birthday boys/girls could have extra special party bags for being so kind?
As for jetpeanut's artwork - what can I say!!!

notanOtter · 23/04/2007 21:09

when it is a joint party i get miffed if i have to buy more than one gift
its greedy

PeachesMcLean · 23/04/2007 21:11

One of the points of children having presents at a party is that the giver learns to choose a present for a friend, wrap it and give it. They're 6 FGS! They need to learn the basics first. Even if it's a £5 piece of plastic tat. And whilst part of me likes the charity idea, what 6 year old is really going to say "yes mummy please ask that I don't have any presents this year". ? Sounds like unfair pressure on the child to me.

NormaStanleyfletcher · 23/04/2007 21:37

Please put in a link to the list...

MrsGumby · 23/04/2007 21:40

Yet another reason for me to want to opt out of this materialist, mercenary society that we live in