To leave 8year old DS home alone?

[Dailybastardmail]

After relocating for my STBX and him promptly leaving me and DS, we have no support network at all, really struggling for money and I have to find new employment (had been freelance)

Firstly, DS is a really sensible boy and has no problem fending for himself when I’m working (from home), has lots of indoor interests he busies himself with and knows what not to do.

Basically my AIBU is how unreasonable would it be to leave DS in bed on school holidays only, go to work for 6am (job is 15min drive away) and be home for 11am?

He will be asleep for at least 3 hours and has no issue with the idea himself.

Have you neighbours who could be on hand? Would you be contactable at all times?

I think it could be ok but I think he is still too young.

the poor woman is asking for advice, not judgemental comments!

if i understand right will it be in the summer holidays for 4 weeks only! so your son will be nearly starting yr 4!
and only 2 days a week and being alone from 6am-11am?

only you no your son and if you think he will be ok! i dont think i could leave my 8 year old as he is quite immature. but he has friends who are so much older headed.

Role playing is entirely different to reality.

He's 8. 8 year olds require proper supervision not a mobile phone as a parent for when it all goes tits up.

I sympathise with you OP but leaving a child that's not even in double digits alone for that length of time whether he is asleep or not is not reasonable.

I doubt the authorities would be interested in a well prepared mature 8 year old being left for 5 hours a morning Peng
When they have actual children in need to look after.

There is no legal requirement. Why is that?
If all 8 year olds are not mature enough, why isn’t the age 10 or 12?

Under 12 year olds are advised not to be left alone for ‘extended periods’
I don’t think 5 hours for 2 or 3 mornings a week is an extended period...especially as the child will presumably be sleeping for half of that.

Why do people do fire drills?
Because they are so useless according to Juddy and Peng.
I hope you two opt out of them at every opportunity.
Because they are completely different to real life and of no value.

Could you get a sitter to come from 7am -11am. So you are only leaving him for an hour.

I think paying for holiday clubs 9-5 when you need 6-11isnt going to solve anything.

By 8 years old they ought to know enough about fire safety to know they need to leave the building immediately and call 999/find an adult to call 999.

The likelihood of a burning building is tiny.

If you think your child would try and put the fire out because they are scared of getting told off instead of leaving the building like they've been taught to do then don't leave your child alone. I know my DD would leave the building and not attempt to put the fire out so I am comfortable leaving her alone.

And of course, like Roderickrules says, the likelihood of the burning building is tiny.

I used to live in Germany.
Babies would be left in their prams in the garden for about an hour every day. At very cold temperatures.

Your circumstances are irrelevant, it makes no difference what your STBXH is doing - you're a mother and it's your responsibility to find a suitable way to keep your child supervised while you go to work. You're in a shitty situation for which you have my sympathy, but this is a ridiculous suggestion and you would never forgive yourself if something happened whilst you were out. You'd also be promptly arrested for child neglect, regardless of whether or not you think it's acceptable.

Obviously this is not ok and if you really thought it was, then you wouldn't need to ask on here.

It isn't good enough. It doesn't matter what they are meant to know. Legally and morally they aren't responsible for themselves, they are under the (supposed) care of their parents.

^^This

Now you're just being ridiculous Peng you know perfectly well why a baby cannot be left alone as a baby is literally helpless. And people don't leave 8 year olds alone all day because they would get lonely - I am confident that DD could manage all day alone but it would be boring and lonely for her so I wouldn't leave her all day, but a shorter length of time is more reasonable. You are supposed to gradually build up independence in your children, starting off with short lengths of time alone to build up to being able to be alone all day if needed once they're in their teens because from there it's just a few short years before they might be leaving home.

Peng, you can see the stats for yourself, look at ONS.
Not ‘think’ about risks ‘know’, evidence.

I used to live in Germany. Babies would be left in their prams in the garden for about an hour every day. At very cold temperatures.

They were in this country too when I was small.

What's that got to do with the price of eggs?

I wonder what other options there are for you? Do you have to stay where you have relocated? Could ex have contact on those nights (if he has contact?) I have a nanny one morning a week from 5.30. She can fit it around her other work so is childcare an option?

You wouldn’t be arrested!
Ffs

No one is saying that young people don’t deserve to be safe.
But sometimes the least worst choice has to be made.