To leave 8year old DS home alone?

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After relocating for my STBX and him promptly leaving me and DS, we have no support network at all, really struggling for money and I have to find new employment (had been freelance)

Firstly, DS is a really sensible boy and has no problem fending for himself when I’m working (from home), has lots of indoor interests he busies himself with and knows what not to do.

Basically my AIBU is how unreasonable would it be to leave DS in bed on school holidays only, go to work for 6am (job is 15min drive away) and be home for 11am?

He will be asleep for at least 3 hours and has no issue with the idea himself.

And we have different ideas of what is age appropriate peng you think my ideas are wrong and neglectful but plenty of parents and professionals agree with my ideas (my country and many others) while plenty would agree with you instead(in the UK). There is no clear line here, the law doesn't set a clear line.

I don't think it's a shocking idea but I think it's a bit too long.

And hour would be fine but 6 to 11 is too much responsibility imo

Just absolutely not.

I'm amazed at 9 and 10 year olds who have never been left

Snowflake generation?

I'm sure it's been said already but the nspcc guidelines suggest children are not to be left alone until 12 years old.

It's not a snowflake generation. Just the most basic of child safety.

You've had a hard time OP and I'm sorry you're in this situation, but I think 8 is far too young. Someone up thread said he was almost 9 but if he's 9 in September that's 9 months away so he's actually barely turned 8 in reality. (Though I still think even if he was 9 it's too young to leave him).

Neglect is a horrible word, but I do think this would be neglectful.

I think that would probably be illegal. Please don’t do it OP. You’d never forgive yourself if something happened to him.

It's not the most basic of child safety though, 9 and 10 year old are regularly left for hours where I live and they're not dying or getting into accidents left, right and centre. Children aren't complete idiots (teenagers are probably more of a concern in that respect than 9/10yr olds)

Children under 12 are not to be left on their own for long periods of time.

They then site a parent who left a 5 year old every day while she went out drinking and a mother who went to Australia for 2 weeks and left children under 12.

I do not consider 5 hours, 2 waking, 2 or 3 times a week, every other week, in the summer holidays 'long periods of time'

Well you don't have to read them peng

Yes, Natsku, I agree, teenagers are far more of a worry!

not a snowflake generation
first boys on the autistic spectrum literally they were brushing there teeth i blew a bulb replaced it with normal light .they blew the bulb just to see what happens
i have now had a fire safety visit from firemen full uniform flashy lights and engines.
i have also invested in a science passport from both boys so that they can watch contolled explosions hes going to highschool so cannot be doing that bad ive got him this far

My daughter at age 8 yes she would have slept till i got home my sons hell no! Trouble in trousers

Why aren’t people reading the full thread?
The job is in six months time.
The child will be almost 9.

Quick to put in your two pence worth without looking at the facts and actual statistics and information to make a balanced decision.

One size does not fit all.
The OP is not going to be doing a full time job every day.

FGS.

There seems to be MORE confusion, this is in the holidays, the DS is 9 the September after. Therefore, in my book, he is almost 9.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. You KNOW when your child can be trusted and are happy being left. 7,8,9 or 15. My brother is 45 and I wouldn't trust him in my house at all. DD is 9 and I totally would.

I think there's a bit of post Christmas boredom going on here!

Back to 'Call the Midwife'!

According to the NSPCC we DO consult the child as to their happiness with the arrangement.

That is a key part of leaving them alone, according to this resource.

Thanks for your armchair expertise everyone who keeps piping up that the child’s confidence/comfort has nothing to do with it.
Who have done zero research.
And not read the thread!

it from 6 am till 11 5 hours will sleep till 9 then 2 hours to mind hersllf 2 or 3 days a week so obviously this is on holidays and not when school is on .
find chilcare
pay a provider get help with tax credits
i very much can be supportive dont leave him alone atleast get someone to check in on him whist ure working

kristophers nobody said you were a bed parent, you are doing an amazing job. But, your scenario is very different.

a) 2 boys, egging each other o
b) one is autistic

No, I would NOT leave them alone.

It is again, an entirely different scenario.

laughs hell never live it down same when he pinched money off me and spent it at the shop to show off i barred him infront off all his wee pals life time ban this was 2yrs ago and hes still no allowed in by himself.
cannot be trusted. im hoping in time with the right judgement hell be fine.
the kettle and appliances i was trying to teach him to make toast and tea before he gets to highschool.Buses and independance is a whole new chapter good luck with the job its hard just being just u i work 3 days on 4 days off but i have decent support

definately too young and i'm sure social services wouldnt be happy if anyone were to report it ..have you / he no friends he can stay with

Doesnt matter if DS is fine with it ok for an hr or so or if a neighbour is keeping an eye on him but definately not on his own even if he is sleeping half of it!!

Far too young. I know it’s hard, but sometimes you have to put them before work.

Is there any way you can relocate back to being closer to family, or look for a term time job?

My youngest is 15 and a half and still don’t like leaving him alone, although I do if I have to.

You have time to prepare/ teach your son, to practise the rules and build up the amount of time he spends alone. You have time to try and make some contacts- perhaps a local teenager/ student/ neighbour who could pop in 9-10, an hour’s childcare might be affordable? I know this situation from experience- I used to work unpredictable hours at evenings and weekends when my husband died. It is impossible to get any/ affordable childcare in these circumstances. I wish you well- you are doing your best in very very difficult circumstances and I imagine you may feel ripped in two by the various stresses a single parent faces when they have no support.