To leave 8year old DS home alone?

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After relocating for my STBX and him promptly leaving me and DS, we have no support network at all, really struggling for money and I have to find new employment (had been freelance)

Firstly, DS is a really sensible boy and has no problem fending for himself when I’m working (from home), has lots of indoor interests he busies himself with and knows what not to do.

Basically my AIBU is how unreasonable would it be to leave DS in bed on school holidays only, go to work for 6am (job is 15min drive away) and be home for 11am?

He will be asleep for at least 3 hours and has no issue with the idea himself.

Ex social worker here yes it would be flagged up as potentially neglect, law or not expect a phone call or visit if someone reports it

So what is so risky about what I've described, Pengggwyn? Bearing in mind that you don't know my circumstances (ie neighbourhood, neighbours, personality of my child, etc etc).

Just asked my 8yo what she thinks and she said she’d feel fine being left breakfast - lunch time if I had to go to work. Her reply, I know where the breakfast and snacks are and would play my games. I asked what she’d do if she had a problem and she said she’d phone me at work

Big difference to a hypothetical situation where their mum is sitting beside them asking questions and actually putting them.in the situation. They might behave completely differently when faced with an empty house or a problem

Just asked my 8yo what she thinks and she said she’d feel fine being left breakfast - lunch time if I had to go to work. Her reply, I know where the breakfast and snacks are and would play my games. I asked what she’d do if she had a problem and she said she’d phone me at work.

Yep. Fire in the kitchen - phone mum.
Someone keeps knocking at the door - phone mum
Just been sick - phone mum
Banged her head badly/slipped down the stairs - phone mum

etc, etc

All feasible. And if you're more than 5 minutes away...(irrelevant in the first case)

I am an extremely cautious mother. DH even says I 'mollycoddle'.

As I have said, my DD is very bright and intelligent and emotionally mature.

I would not hesitate to leave her under these circumstances. I live in a nice secure flat if that makes a difference. She knows precisely what to do in an emergency. I have been leaving her to go to the shops since she turned 8. She will be walking to school alone soon, when she hits 10.

I think you should have posted in chat OP.

People are seeing your OP and just see 'child alone all day every day' some even see 'get's up alone, gets ready for school, lets self out of house' Some see child is 4 and left in charge of 18 month twins with door open'

It is as far removed from any of the above scenarions as possible.

Likelihood is, by 11am when you get back, DS has been up 2 hours and only just got his breakfast and is perfectly happy.

I just couldn't.
8 is far too Young IMO.

My DD would cope just fine actually. I have brought her up to do so. It's my job.

I think I would have also been described as intelligent and emotionally mature, that's why my mum probably felt able to leave me alone looking after my younger siblings (not the same situation as the OP I know).

However, navel gazing a bit, I think that's also why I felt uncomfortable about it- I'd have probably felt better if I hadn't been so 'aware'

I am NOT a troll, I am giving MY opinion and you disagree with me, I think you are histrionic, FWIW.

I have brought my DD up beautifully thankyou, this OP is not about me anyway, I am giving my opinion.

In OP's situation I would do what she is planning, it's not ideal, but it is completely feasible. Many agree with me.

Ah you see, being left in charge of siblings is a BIG no no for me.

Much more can go wrong and there is the added pressure.
Risk of arguments etc...

You think I am a neglectful parent? Amazing, this OP is not about me, I am do not ven have a job

I think you're a bit confused and should step away.

I am a fabulous parent

I am a child protection police officer. If I was called to your house by, say, a concerned neighbour and found your 8 year old home alone for that amount of time, and you at work, I would give serious consideration to taking your child into police protection.

Social services would then be involved and you would be interviewed by me in a police station.

It's not about histrionics or over reactions. Your child is not old enough to be left in the circumstances you describe.

You said this is something you would never have considered previously, there is a reason for that.

No! But the main problem is errant fathers who need to be sent to prison for neglect in all fairness.

Ah you see, being left in charge of siblings is a BIG no no for me

But I would have felt the same even without my siblings- in fact, having
my siblings there probably made me feel marginally better if anything. My worries and stress was in knowing that I wasn't a grown up, and in knowing that if any adults were to find out it could mean trouble. And I knew, that because my mum was only doing it because if she didn't we might not eat and definitely wouldn't be able to pay bills, it was important.

I obviously need therapy ^^ but seriously, why unless there is no choice would anyone want to give children adult responsibilities before there time.

Running I am not sure which parents are those parents you refer to but if they exist you are defintely one of them.

OP

*their. Grr

You said this is something you would never have considered previously, there is a reason for that.

I said have never had to consider before. Big difference.

You are correct, Pengggwyn, I do disagree with you, especially your statement

If I knew someone was leaving an 8 year old alone for longer than a few minutes I would think it was reckless.

I am incredulous that anyone thinks that no 8 year old is safe to be left alone for 'longer than a few minutes'.

No no no no no. Too young!!, I have only just left my 10 soon to be 11 yr old dc alone for the first time the other day, I was gone 5 mins to grab my prescription from the local surgery. He is very sensible mostly and walks to school, but also easily distracted by stuff and likely to attempt unsupervised cooking or some other crap without me there for a long time.

For reference, the first time we left my sensible (then) 11 year old daughter to let herself in and be home alone for an hour whilst we nipped to the supermarket, we came home to find the door keys left in the front door! 😬

theliterarycat. one of those parents.....neglectful.... and no lovey, I'm not one

Plenty on this thread would've happy to be though! All happy days until someone gets hurt.