To agree that engagement announcements on Christmas day are irritating

[InspMorse]

Friend has just phoned. I agreed to post this on here for her to see what the general consensus is.

She has been with extended family all day. She had been looking forward to catching up with Mum/Dad family and celebrating Christmas with them as they she lives a good distance away from home.
Sister was there with boyfriend (they live near parents) and announced as soon as they arrived at the Mum & Dad's that boyfriend had proposed/ they had got engaged this morning. Apparently the WHOLE day has been about them. Non stop wedding talk.
Are we BU to think that combining family celebrations/ Christmas with personal announcements are a PITA? A bit like announcing one's own engagement at someone else's B'day party?
Friend is prepared to hear that SIBU but I get her point entirely.

"I think the whole wedding was planned over Christmas dinner!"

So your friend would rather have not been there for all that? Would rather all that happened when she was not around?

If she's anything like me, then yes, she probably would rather the wedding planning happened when she wasn't around! Nothing more tedious than wedding plans.

I think it's a lovely time to announce an engagement.
Family around to share the happiness, fabulous.
We've had a couple of Xmas engagements in the family.

My bro and SIL announced on Christmas Day. It added to the day. Having said that, it was nice that they phoned up to do it and we got 15 minutes of excited chat on the phone and then we got back to our day and they got back to their romantic engagement day.

It’s don’t thoughtless just like proposing on valentines or on your partners birthday.

Crap what do I buy then? Erm fuck it let’s get engaged simple.

To spend the whole day purely talking wedding chat when family have traveled from far away is just rude as well.

YABU. I think it is lovely, makes the day even more special for the whole family who should be happy for them instead of being sour pusses.

I don't think there's anything wrong with getting engaged on christmas day, but talking about it all day long seems as boring as hell. I would just say 'congratulations' and move on.

A Christmas Day proposal strikes me as unimaginative, but it's done so yes, some congratulations and get on with the day. But I don't think the friend is in any way wrong to be disappointed when the conversation did nothing but revolve around weddings. Boring.

Personally I don't like it and think that engagements should be done on a day that isn't significant (such as Christmas or Valentine's Day). I just think it takes away from it being the day you got engaged. It'll always be Christmas Day oh and the day we got engaged IMO.
But if others like it then fair enough. No problem with it being announced though.

Very tacky and look at me to get engaged at xmas

Making the whole day about her was highly inconsiderate. I’d be very upset too.

I think that her sister has happy and exciting news and that she is being unreasonable and rather self absorbed tbh.

If she feels that she didn’t get the time she needed with her parents she should arrange to visit them again soon or have them come to her for a visit.

Clearly everyone (except OPs friend) was enjoying the wedding talk or else it wouldn't have happened so SIBU.

Don't be such a ba humbug!

If that was my sister I’d be thrilled and excited. I can’t imagine being so mean as to care that it was on Xmas day, a day that’s all about spending with family.

They may not have even got engaged that day, maybe just chose to share it due to everyone being there,p.

Sometimes I think I live in a different universe to MN users. I’ve never thought someone is tacky for sharing something so huge with their family at a time when everyone is together.

I don't like engagements as Christmas or birthday presents to be honest.

It's almost as of the man is saying it's a gift for you to marry him and he gets nothing out of it iyswim.

Almost like saying 'you lucky thing, you get to marry ME, best present ever, am I right?'

I got engaged on my 21st. Was my best birthday ever pp I don't really care if you 'don't like it', thankfully I don't concern myself with what others think. Or what others do or don't do.

OP I think your friend is being a bit mean but it is understandable that she was annoyed after a day of it. It is more the talking about it though that is the issue and that was everyones fault that kept it going, not just the sister.

thankfully I don't concern myself with what others think. Or what others do or don't do.

Well this is a mn thread about what someone thinks about something someone did, that she would've preferred that they didn't do. If you are not concerned about this like that what are doing posting here .

I'm sorry I said something you didn't like. If you're happy fine, but I wouldn't be happy with a proposal as a present. Sorry maybe I should have put it that way in my previous post.

Why would you assume it was instead of a present? It might have been a spur of the moment 'I love you so' or a planned fun surprise. After you get married it doesn't really matter when you proposed anyway, I don't know anyone who does anything for an engagement anniversary so I can't see why it would be an issue having that memory at future Christmases.

I think the OP's friend is annoyed at the wrong thing. The issue wasn't the engagement it was the parents getting carried away with their excitement and forgetting that they have more than the one daughter.

I know it is quite normal in Anglo Saxons countries to get engaged on Christmas or on the woman's birthday. There are so many threads on MN where someone is dissappointed because her birthday has passed and she didn't get and engagement ring and she didn't get one at Christmas either. I don't get it at all.

I think it's a lovely time to get engaged. Not everyone gets together with their family regularly, so it's a lovely thing to be able to share the news in person. I was proposed to on a Tuesday night in October, in bed, but I think Christmas is a lovely time for it to happen.

Your friend is being very unreasonable.

Why is it lovely to hijack a family day though?

If a family only have one day a year to get together and have quality time it’s pretty fucking selfish tomdecode that the whole day needs to revolve around one single relatively full piece of news. A wedding just means the formalising and legal protection of living arrangements. I’d rather talk about what everyone has done all year, not what one person might possibly do in the vague future.

To decide not tomdecode.

Dull not full.

Proofreading isn’t my forte today.

Wow.

Im so glad my only sibling was more excited when I got engaged than OP's mate appears to have been about her sister getting engaged....

Sorry OP, but your mate sounds kind of moany and bitter. Her sister will do this literally once in her life, let her have her moment! Even if it is Christmas Day. If necessary, and your mate feels short changed on family catch up time then just arrange another family get together soon!

Incy because normal healthy families tend to be pretty happy to hear the news when their relatives get married/have kids/get into uni/get a job or promotion etc. Only on Mumsnet is a wedding considered to be as inconsequential as choosing a pair of underwear!

Would it be equally selfish to announce that you're pregnant at Christmas?

Very mixed opinions! Thanks all!
Half think an engagement on Christmas Day is a wonderful time to announce a joyful event and a chance to celebrate with the whole family, the other half think Christmas Day engagements are a self-indulgent, unimaginative, hogging the limelight cliche!

I (& my friend) agree with the latter but it's been interesting to hear both sides!