To not go? Just discovered I am an unwelcome guest :(

[greywhitebluepink]

My parents died when I was quite young and so I have been used to spending Christmas alone over the years. I am now married and pregnant but my husband works Christmas Day.

So someone at work made a massive fuss about this and I thought she was being nice. I don’t really like going to other people’s homes anyway on Christmas Day as you get in the way a bit and plus I have been very sick in this pregnancy but she was so insistent it would have been rude to say no, and she lives locally and I thought i could do with expanding my support network with being due a baby. So I said thank you and accepted.

So I text before to confirm arrangements and I got a text back not meant for me saying how she (the host) is so stressed at arranging Christmas dinner and then goes on to say something like ‘on top of that some woman I work with is insisting I feed her too.’

I just replied saying don’t think you meant that for me. She’s tried to ring me twice but I don’t want to talk to her.

Lianne moriarty has some great books.

Get take out!

Glad you're not going! if all yours shops have closed order yourself double takeaway and get one in the fridge for tomorrow and put your feet up x

Don't go and enjoy the day alone. There are lots of nice things you can do, have a lovely long bath, eat all your favourite foods, watch what you want on tv. You will relish this kind of alone time once baby is here so it's a good opportunity to make the most of some rest and relaxation.

She should hang her head in shame for that comment. Never quite get the stressing about Christmas dinner. I love cooking Christmas dinner for lots of people and would easily accommodate another person. Hope you managed to get a bit of nice food in for yourself. Think next year you will have your baby and hopefully DH home too. [Flowers]

I'd have been tempted to out-martyr her.
I'm so sorry, when you invited me I thought you were just being kind to your heavily pregnant colleague and didn't want her to be all on her own for Christmas. I didn't realise what a heavy burden it would be for you. The pelvic synthesis disfunction and piles have been flaring up all day, but if I leave now I might just be able to struggle to the Coop and see if there's a loaf of bread left to go with the tin of beans in my cupboard....
You are a much better person than me!
Have you read "The Secret History"?

Enjoy a day on your own. A corner shop or similar will still be open for some nice- ish food. Christmas next year will be very different enjoy the peace while it lasts!
My kids are with their dad tomorrow so much as I will miss them i am planning a long lie - in (never ever get one normally!) and then to read books/listen to music/watch movies.

Shoes everytime I see your name it takes me back to the Irvine Welsh late night thread grin. Shoes have soooouls.

Bullet - Ha ha - Yes that was a night wasn't it?! Silly trolls.

OP - I really wouldn't blame you if you didn't go, I don't think I would - but try not to see it as a personal thing. She probably likes a but of drama. Hope you have a lovely day

This is a fortuitous turn of events for you so at least you can completely do what you want. Asvregards to dealing with situation, several posters have given great advice.
Regarding your earlier post, you absolutely can have an alcoholic drink ( unless you have a "proper" reason, obvs) . There is plenty of evidence that drinking a small amount (100ml -120ml) will do the baby no harm. And if a glass of wine will help you mark the day then I would go for it. Savour the peace of this Christmas.. I remember well the last Christmas I spent before having my first child. It involved a lot of tea from a teapot I bought myself for my birthday the week before. It rocked 😀
Im sorry your parents died when you were young. My DCs' fathers are both dead and it's a uniquely poignant time. Weirdly enough both of the men present at my last xmas in 1999 are now both dead. (dh and dfriend). Im celebrating, quietly and with tea , just thankful to be around/thinking of people I know and love.
Happy Christmas.

Please don’t go, I wouldn’t even bother with letting her know just don’t turn up. I hope she puts a place at the table for you and your absence is glaringly obvious to everyone. Just ignore her for the rest of the holidays, she seems like a really horrible piece of work and a shit friend.

For books- how about re reading favourite stories from your childhood? I do that when I am tired or ill.
Or quite a few friends have enjoyed the Christmasaurus even though it’s a children’s book.

Our corner shop is open and our local pub opens tomorrow at 12 serving roast, last min x mas alone is doable, enjoy I prefer not to go to others for christmas too!!

Honestly? I think this is a good outcome... you won't have an awkward day, you can chill out in your PJs reading a book. When I think about my pre-baby days, this sounds perfection. See if you can get a quick food shop done and then enjoy...
Did she reply to your text?

Enjoy your day alone!

I hope you have a nice peaceful day tomorrow with a few choice nibbles, full control of the TV remote and some good reading choices.

I also hope you have a great New Year with your DH.

Try not to give this woman any more headroom - she isn't worth it.

Don’t text her, let her stew in her own unpleasantness. It could have been worse, you might not have received the text and would have been oblivious to the two faced cow.

jilly cooper - riders. ultimate feel good easy read. dated now, but i loved her books. perfect holiday read. and this would def happen to one of her characters!

I’d block her on your phone now too, and put her out of your mind. you owe her nothing.

I think your Christmas day will be a lot nicer than hers! She will have set her alarm for 5am to start stressing over the next 8 hours - grim.
On Kindle there are acres of free books - search Kindle Free. Also have a look at the magazine subscriptions bit, there's some real bargains to be had.

Pride and Prejudice us a great one for getting back into reading. Or as a PP mentioned the Sue Grafton books about the detective Kinsey Millhone - now there's a woman who would relish spending Xmas day alone.

I was just going to say the same as Weezol. Your Christmas is going to be so much better than hers. Everytime she thinks of you, tomorrow and for a long time to come, she will get that hot curl of mortification and shame. Merry Christmas to you. Hope you managed to get some nibbles.

I've bought myself a set of the Agatha Raisin mystery books (by M.C.Beaton) to help with the post-Christmas slump. They are great for when you don't want anything too heavy, but are quite absorbing and fairly light-hearted.

Screw her. Grab a cider and read Big Little Lies Lianne Moriarty. The series is good but the book was fab. Happy Xmas lovely x

That's horrible! Although like you, I'd be quite happy on my own as opposed to being with a family I didn't really know.

Hope you have a nice relaxing day filled with a good book! We Have Always Lived in a Castle is very good.

Lie in (whilst you can - you'll look back on lie ins and weep when your baby is here ). Chill out with television, chocolate and something like a takeaway curry, then enjoy seeing your DH when he gets home. Sounds great to me.

I would just ignore her. Nothing is as eloquent as silence!

A day at home with your Kindle sounds like bliss, I’d read a book in one sitting whilst eating constantly . Have you read The Poisonwood Bible? It’s not in the slightest bit Christmassy but completely absorbing.