To not go? Just discovered I am an unwelcome guest :(

[greywhitebluepink]

My parents died when I was quite young and so I have been used to spending Christmas alone over the years. I am now married and pregnant but my husband works Christmas Day.

So someone at work made a massive fuss about this and I thought she was being nice. I don’t really like going to other people’s homes anyway on Christmas Day as you get in the way a bit and plus I have been very sick in this pregnancy but she was so insistent it would have been rude to say no, and she lives locally and I thought i could do with expanding my support network with being due a baby. So I said thank you and accepted.

So I text before to confirm arrangements and I got a text back not meant for me saying how she (the host) is so stressed at arranging Christmas dinner and then goes on to say something like ‘on top of that some woman I work with is insisting I feed her too.’

I just replied saying don’t think you meant that for me. She’s tried to ring me twice but I don’t want to talk to her.

Yeah but peony would you expect them to feel comfortable if they had heard you, after that ... as I don’t

No of course not. I think your text has hit just the right note.
I was agreeing with the pp that it was unlikely that she meant it personally and was just adding you to the general whinges.

That's easy for me to say, but yes, in your shoes I wouldn't be going either.

Oh dear. Of course don't go. Quickly nip out to the local shop and stock up on nice food and treat yourself to a day in front of the telly or netflicks is eead a book. Sounds like you've dodged a bullet. I hope it's not upset you too much. Christmas sucks xx

Or if horror is your thing all the mo hayder books are brilliant but they are quite gruesome though!

I also agree with others though about not having a big fall out with her as you have to work with her, but that doesn't mean she gets to treat you like crap.

Happy Christmas

Don't go. Make an apology and just say you're not up to it.

Why are some of you defending this person? There is no excusing her really unpleasant behaviour and to say she was just venting due to stress is ridiculous and feeble.
Don’t go, OP. Just ignore her and let her feel awful for what she wrote. The stupid woman has just scored an own goal.

She was clearly dabbling in competitive Christmassing with the other woman. Harmless enough, but as you say, you don't want mutual acquaintances to think that you elbowed your way to an invitation. That is what would grate on me.

Cheeky cow!!
Hope she's mortified

Spend the day yourself chilling and doing stuff you want to. Have you got food in?

She'll feel guilty forevermore about this. That's her punishment ;)

Completely agree be very gracious about it and smile sweetly when you see her.

I've just read The Gustav Sonata which was really good! Enjoy your kindle and a lazy day and switch off your phone.

Agree she was playing the martyr card but it still wasn't very nice.

The Sue Grafton series is good, starting with A for Alibi. You can read them in any order. A female private investigator solving cases in California. Quite addictive once you start reading them.

I wouldn't go, but I wouldn't take it too personally either. I bet she's portraying herself as a martyr for the drama. Let her sweat it out and just have a peaceful day at home pleasing nobody but yourself.

Make an APOLOGY?
Why on earth should the OP apologise for anything? The woman is the one who should apologise.

Hi love, that is horrible to read - but you know - she did invite you - and I bet she's doing the whole "attention-seeking-I'm-so-stressed-I've-got-so-much-to-do" thing.

You know how people can be - really hamming it up with people for the drama. I really, really doubt it's that you are actually unwelcome. Unless she's a complete weirdo

That's horrible, what a cow she is.

Get your feet up, eat some nice things, put tv on, have a nap.

Next year you'll have your little one to celebrate with.

Wishing you the very best x

If you like science fiction I highly recommend Wool by Hugh Howey

Second the person who suggested james patterson a friend gave me one of his books, totally hooked now scour charity shops for ones of his i havent read, one christmas i had the opposite happen to me, my son said that a friend of both myself and his would be on her own on christmas day so i said invite her, she turned up ate almost nothing and didnt say a word to any of us and she knows all of us well so that was the last time i invited anyone on spec

Had you got her some crocs or biscuits or anything as a thank you for hosting you?

If so - sit at home and scoff them. You will have a lovely restful day, and things will have calmed down by the time you see her again after your maternity leave.

Have a lovely, literary Christmas!

The Keeper of Lost Things is a nice feel good book. Also Paris for One - short stories so eddy to pick up and put down.

*CHOCS - not crocs, FFS!

I wouldn't wish crocs on Jeremy Hunt!

Oh dear! How hurtful that text must have been, OP. But I bet your colleague is mortified at having sent it to you by mistake. She was clearly just exaggerating for effect to the other friend and it's a massive faux pas to have sent it to you.

I totally understand that you'd prefer not to go now. I would feel the same. But I do also feel a bit sorry for the would-be hostess in her predicament! She knows she's buggered everything up. I would text her and say, something like "I'm so sorry but I would really prefer to stay home tomorrow. Please don't worry about the silly text, I know you didn't mean it, let's just pretend it never happened. Merry Christmas!"

Shoes everytime I see your name it takes me back to the Irvine Welsh late night thread . Shoes have soooouls.

But yeah agree.

Would like a food update from OP

The Roy Grace books by Peter James are brilliant, read them in order though

What a mean-spirited wretch she is, @greywhitebluepink. Well done on maintaining your cool with her.

As for your new Kindle, I recommend signing up to this for a daily newsletter of free/99p kindle titles. There is some dross but I have got hundreds of excellent books off it.

uk.kindofbook.com/

Enjoy your peaceful day tomorrow.

Wow! What a cow! Did she invite you repeatedly in front of others by chance? Playing the Queen of Sheba? Yes do pearls suggestion as then you have nothing to feel bad about and she can't say you went all huffy on her but she'll still feel awful as she should.

Get your favourite carry out or something from a shop still open plenty are.

Kindle is great because you can sample books for free, try the first few pages and see if you like, I've found new authors I like with that and free books. Lots of classics are free too.

You don't even need to go on Amazon just do a few searches of previously enjoyed books in the purchasing section and you'll start getting recommendations.

There's also recommendation sites like good reads, love reading