To not go? Just discovered I am an unwelcome guest :(

[greywhitebluepink]

My parents died when I was quite young and so I have been used to spending Christmas alone over the years. I am now married and pregnant but my husband works Christmas Day.

So someone at work made a massive fuss about this and I thought she was being nice. I don’t really like going to other people’s homes anyway on Christmas Day as you get in the way a bit and plus I have been very sick in this pregnancy but she was so insistent it would have been rude to say no, and she lives locally and I thought i could do with expanding my support network with being due a baby. So I said thank you and accepted.

So I text before to confirm arrangements and I got a text back not meant for me saying how she (the host) is so stressed at arranging Christmas dinner and then goes on to say something like ‘on top of that some woman I work with is insisting I feed her too.’

I just replied saying don’t think you meant that for me. She’s tried to ring me twice but I don’t want to talk to her.

Ignore her and don't go.

What a cow.

for you x

Personally, I wouldn’t. I’d rather sit at home than face that awkwardness!

Don’t go! Have a lovely relaxing day on your own and have a Christmas Day with your DH another day!
Horrible woman!

She may be trying to play the martyr for the benefit of whoever the text was for, however, I wouldn’t go now. Even if she begged me to!

I wouldn’t go tbh, Now your just sit there thinking you don’t really want me here and you won’t enjoy yourself.

Have a relaxing day on your own, watch some films, eat whatever you’ve got in, nice bath etc

Is your dh home Boxing Day? Maybe the two of you could make a special meal or something then

If you don't want to talk to her now, leave it a couple of hours and see how you feel.

I definitely wouldn't be going. Rude bitch she is. I wouldn't give her the time of day after that. Except to point out that she very insistently invited you not the other way around.

Is there anyone else you can go to? If you even want to! You could put your feet up and watch what you want on tv all day and eat snacks

Aw that’s shit. Don’t go. And let her feel awkward and anxious until you see her again.

Don't go - how rude of her.

I’m sorry she’s such a dick.

Don’t go. She doesn’t deserve your company. Have a nice relaxing day alone & wait for her to squirm

I wouldn't answer her either. Leave her stewing. Definitely don't go.

She may have just been bigging herself up to whomever she's texting and not actually meant it, but that's awful and I would cancel. If it were me I'd take the call and be diplomatic but firm in my decision. Then you can be done with the mess. Otherwise you'll just have to have the chat later.

Oh OP. You poor thing. I definitely couldn't go after that. Pop down to your nearest shop, get yourself something nice in for tomorrow and enjoy a restful, quiet day. What kind of idiot insists on hosting someone when they don't actually want to? She's rude and unkind.

I don’t blame you, I wouldn’t want to talk to her either. Why extend an invitation if you begrudge it, the stupid woman?

Whatever the reason for her insisting you come when she can’t actually cope with it is not your problem and not your fault.

The thing is, the Christmas Day alone really doesn’t bother me, I mean, yes, it can be a bit much to get through but I’d rather just watch some telly and so on than spend it with someone else’s family in the nicest possible way. Thing is because of this stupid woman I haven’t got any nice food in!

Dh is off from the 29th, we are having new year together.

I wouldn't go. A day at home on your own watching telly and necking celebrations (if your sickness allows) sounds better than an awkward dinner with people you don't really know.

Then don't. She is probably acting all Millie Martyr because she is hand making crackers whilst assembling a gingerbread house and isn't getting the praise she feels she is due. I would text back and just say that you have made other plans for your Christmas day and hope she enjoys hers. She must be mortified. Hope you have some food in and have a lovely peaceful day at home.

I agree that she’s probably playing up the “poor me” element to the person that the text was intended for, so I wouldn’t take it personally.

That said, I wouldn’t go now either, no matter how apologetic she is.

Chin up OP, better to find out she’s a cowbag sooner rather than later.

Hope you have a lovely Christmas.

She sounds an utter twat. Don't go, you'll only feel awkward now. Just have a lovely restful day, put your feet up, watch films and eat your favourite food in peace.

She sounds unhinged. Who insists and insists on inviting someone then sends them a nasty message pretending it was meant for someone else? It sounds like she might get a kick out of it. Not only would I not go, but I'd keep well away from that crackpot in future too.

She sounds horrible. Definitely would guess she is trying to make herself sound more important and in demand than she really is to whoever the text was meant for. Silly woman.

Don’t go and enjoy your day.

Jesus. Obviously one of these awful people who run around insisting on doing everything then bitch about it to anyone who'll listen so they can be sure their massive and impressive contributions are duly recognised Boxset, pyjama day, and block her number til you're back at work.

I agree with the fact that she was biggingw herself up and actually she does want you to come. But it is a crazy thing to do, especially as you don’t even want to go anyway! I think your reply was spot on. If she calls again just say I appreciate the offer but I’d rather be at home. No hard feelings etc. Crazy lady

I wouldnt go. I have a relative who does this, offers to help people lol the time the next complains how much she has had to do to help XYZ. I think this lady wants to be a martyr and prob didn't mean what she said but I still wouldn't go.