Hello all
I'm back again, my little one was born a week ago. I went into slow labour in the night and DP was due to see his children the next morning. He wasn't going to go but I pushed him to as I knew we had a while to go and I wanted to bathe, prepare to go to the hospital and I didn't want his kids being let down as they were expecting him. I knew things would be changing now baby was on his way, or so I thought, so was fine with him going along one last time before having them here in future.
He went for an hour & half and came home in plenty of time, we went to the hospital and our son was born. We stayed in overnight then were preparing to go home, she text him asking if he's coming to see the kids again. She knew i had just given birth because he told her. She called him and he let her know, why? I'll never know as it was none of her business in the first place.
She got shitty with him, said he's putting their kids second to mine and his. Her sister then started texting him again telling him he's letting the children down, should be ashamed of himself, is a cunt etc. All of this whilst our son was barely a day old and through the threshold of our house.
To keep the peace I said why don't you just go round there tomorrow, see the kids and speak to her, tell her it's changing now because the babies here, and sort out a proper arrangement. He agreed. The next day came and he called her in the morning to sort out a time to go round. No answer. Then at 8.00pm that night she finally texts and says he can come round now. I was fuming. I genuinely believe she did it on purpose knowing the time would be disruptive as we have a newborn at home.
I saw red and told him enough is enough I'm not putting up with this anymore, I told him if he didn't come back with news that he had sorted it then he could F off and move back there. I told him i am no longer happy with him spending time there, now that we have a newborn, and I won't stand for it.
He went. 2 hours later came home telling me how he's put his foot down and told her he isn't continuing like this anymore and he's going to have the kids here. I asked what she said. He told me she agreed and said ok. I was dubious.
It was bullshit.
Fast forward a week, he hasn't seen his kids. Tonight I ask him why. I was concerned it had been longer than usual between him seeing them and was confused consideeing he had apparently sorted an arrangement for them to come here.
I say be honest, is she still telling you access has to be had around there. Yes he says. He gets visibly upset.
I asked him what it would take for him to see a solicitor. He said he doesn't know, he's worried about making her angry. "I would rather just suffer myself until the dust settles" he says. I took that as meaning he wasn't going to put up a fight about bringing them here. He said he doesn't want to battle with her.
I pointed out that it's not him suffering but his poor kids who would now be wondering why they haven't seen their dad.
I then felt momentarily guilty, had I not put my foot down and said I don't want him sitting there any more he would have seen them by now. However, I've already given enough Lee way this past year and I had my own baby to think about now. He was needed here. They are always welcome I tell him.
I then asked him if she's still being such an arse about contact, then why is she still on his phone texting if it's not about seeing the kids. I didn't think before I spoke so it may have then been obvious that I've been paying attention to his lock screen when he was asleep and could see her name. Oops.
He replies what? I repeat the question. He says she texts about general things, telling him about her dad's recent health situations and then said she's asked how me and baby are doing once?!
I said well I find it bloody ridiculous that somebody acting so poorly regarding child contact would think it's ok to engage in text tennis with the very person she's alienating. I said she can't have it both ways she either wants to be civil and get along and let you see your kids in the way you want to see them, or she doesn't - but can't expect to play bezzie mates via text in the mean time.
I'm just so annoyed with it all. Nothings changed. Nothing will. I'm reluctant to kick him out atm because in every sense other than this one he's been brilliant, he's hands on with the baby and I haven't had to lift a finger when he's been home from work, he will work a 12 hour shift then come home and watch baby until the afternoon so I can get some sleep. He preps meals for me. Does the washing. We would be lost without him at the moment to be fair.
That being said, I can't be doing with this crap anymore. There's too much bs flying around that I'm not oblivious to. Too many lies.