I'm ok thank you (other than being rather inpatient to meet bump, I keep waking up every hour in the night lately so I'm shattered)
His dad came round to see us on new years eve which was an unexpected nice surprise. He was excited about meeting baby soon.
His ex is back from her trip with the kids now, he went there the other day for a few hours in the evening. He promised his phone was on loud and if I needed him he'd be right back. (We've heard that before though, remember Xmas day)
Before he left to go there I said "you do realise you need to sort things out now, we're 2 weeks maximum away from having the baby and this can't continue" he said he knows, he will talk to her about a formal contact arrangement where the children come here and get to know me properly, with their new sibling. Hes on to it he says. Didn't do it that day though did he. Sigh.
I still have no faith if I'm honest, no longer looking at it through rose tinted glasses, but bit my tongue and said ok if you say so. Didn't have the energy to argue about it and am sick of going around in circles that only ever end with him telling me what I want to hear to placate me at the time.
My mother asked him how his older children feel about having a new brother, he said the younger one doesn't really understand yet and the older one has been so excited about school they haven't really shown much of an interest. It's all about school right now he says. We asked suspiciously is he absolutely certain they've been spoken to about it properly, he claims they have.
He got back from his exes at about 9.00pm, his phone was buzzing by 10.30. It was her I presume. Nobody else every really texts him. He ignored the text and didn't type back, at least not whilst I was still awake.
She was also texting again last night late in the evening. No idea what she was saying due to his fort knocks phone lock you can't see the text messages, but you can see the name of the person who has sent some.
I think I would feel alot more secure about the situation, and our relationship, if he was more open with me. I'm not the sort to pry (at least not without damn good reason) but the fact he never talks to me about their conversations, arrangements etc does make me wonder more than I should. Only because of how messy things are. If everything was rosy I need never worry. I would appreciate more transparency and have said that all along, but with it never coming.. where do I draw the line so I don't come off as jealous and insecure? I've been tempted a few times to ask him what she needs at 10.30pm at night, but then I risk falling into the category of being nosy
"She always used to ask me who I'm texting" he moaned when we met. "I really hated that'
As a result? I never ask. Funny that isn't it. It's almost as if (like someone pointed out) I was being conditioned to turn the other cheek so I don't end up being "that" woman.
Who knows. Maybe he's just absolutely useless at enforcing boundaries and is trying to keep everybody sweet with as least drama as possible. Then again, maybe he's telling her everything she wants to hear.. Just like he is me!