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Original poster

WWYD teacher behaving inappropriately

166 replies

dontknowwhattodowiththisinfo · 22/12/2017 21:25

WWYD with this information.

I have been told that last night my daughters form tutor (male aged 28) was very drunk at a local nightclub. He was grinding against a 17YO girl l and shoved an 18YO man who told him he was embarrassing himself and to go home.

Would you report it to the school? If so who to and what would you say?

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 23/12/2017 12:05

I would say something, tbh. A 28 year old teacher of teenagers should not be out pursuing teenagers in his off duty hours. It doesn't feel right. The balance of power seems off.

I like the states in this regard. She might be the age of 'consent', but only up to 4 years older than she is if she's under 18, as in no one 22 or older should be pursuing her.

GreenTulips · 23/12/2017 12:05

Why? Maybe he knew her?

Waitingonasmile · 23/12/2017 12:06

I think your time would be better spent reporting the nightclub for allowing underage children in.

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/12/2017 12:07

A 28 year old teacher of teenagers should not be out pursuing teenagers in his off duty hours.

Bit of a leap to say that he was "pursuing" her

Anasnake · 23/12/2017 12:08

Who's not to say they didn't send their friend over to dance with him (as he doesn't know her) with the intention of filming it and causing trouble??

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 23/12/2017 12:10

I’m sure that they will be a clause in his contract not to put the school in disrepute. I’m a college lecturer and need to think about my behaviour so I think he does beedeeporting.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 23/12/2017 12:10

Reporting!

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 23/12/2017 12:15

Also no man should “assume” anybody’s age. If she is knocking round with his students that might be a good guess.

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/12/2017 12:22

Tomselleckhaskindeyes

I hadn't realised that dancing required proof of age.

mamamalt · 23/12/2017 12:27

It’s a bit grim but we all do things we regret when drunk. He was in a club to be fair where you would presume the age of everyone in there is at least 18.
He probably didn’t even register what he was being told if he was really pissed. It’s a tough time of year and he’s letting off steam and probably feeling horrendous and afraid for his career today.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 23/12/2017 12:31

He was drunk, came over to dance and got into a fracas with his pupils? I would be hidden behind a post or crawling commando To ebsure i’m not seen! Many of my friends work in different towns to which they live for this very reason. I have a friend who is a probation officer who often goes missing. You’ll be walking along with her and suddenly realise she isn’t there as she has ducked behind a car. Smile It all goes with the job and we are explicitly told this.

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/12/2017 12:39

Tomselleckhaskindeyes

According to some teenagers he was allegedly drunk, allegedly came over to dance and posters are making stuff up about a fracas.

TheLegendOfBeans · 23/12/2017 12:46

@BoneyBackJefferson

The OP states the guy shoved his 18yo pupil. In a nightclub. Probably when the drinks were in & the wits were out on both sides.

That’s quite “fracas-y” to me.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 23/12/2017 12:47

Well he could have come over said hello merry Christmas have a great night and then remove himself. He put himself in a position where he could be gossiped about. He has instantly put himself in a vulnerable position. Very stupid

BigChocFrenzy · 23/12/2017 12:51

Report to the school.
Partly to protect the teacher ....

This tale - whatever aftually happened - will be spread around to all the kids he'll be teaching next year, probably the whole school will be giggling
The loss of respect could make it very difficult for him to control his classes and actually teach.
Rumours will get exaggerated and spread to parents and to senior management - the worst circumstances for them to hear about it.

Report, so the school can investigate if this breached their code of conduct
It it's untrue, then it"s the best way to stop the situation deteriorating

If it's true, they need to pull him up sharply and warn about his conduct, before he gets into real trouble

  • if he pushed a pupil, who had probably been drinking
that pupil could have fallen over and required medical treatment - the consequences of even a minor injury would destroy the teacher's life.
MaisyPops · 23/12/2017 12:55

So man old enough to drink was drinking in a place where it is perfectly legal for him to drink. He was drinking in an establishment where people by law should not be serving alcohol to under 18s.
He may have acted like a bit of an idiot whilst drunk but thr only thing needing reporting (if reportinf everything is your thing) is that a nightclub is letting in large groups of under 18s.

I've bumped into students (current 6th form and former 6th form) on nights out. Current 6th form, they say hi, i say hi and tell them to enjoy their night but be sensible. On Monday they come to school and say 'enjoy your night miss'. I say yes. We move on. (If they were totally inebriated then I'd mention it to head of 6th as a 'worth checking they know how to remain safe' chat)
Former 6th formers have been known to offer to get ex teachers a thank you drink.

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/12/2017 12:57

TheLegendOfBeans

Fracas

"a noisy, disorderly disturbance or fight; riotous brawl; uproar." so no not a fracas.

The OP also wasn't there, and from what I can tell neither was her DD.

All the OP has is hearsay.

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/12/2017 12:59

Tomselleckhaskindeyes
Well he could have come over said hello merry Christmas have a great night and then remove himself. He put himself in a position where he could be gossiped about. He has instantly put himself in a vulnerable position. Very stupid

On the word of underage drinkers in a night club.

TheLegendOfBeans · 23/12/2017 13:00

Current 6th form, they say hi, i say hi and tell them to enjoy their night but be sensible. On Monday they come to school and say 'enjoy your night miss'. I say yes. We move on

That’s exactly what he should’ve done @Maisypops but he didn’t - he’s not committed an offence but he’s compromised his professional reputation by acting like a div.

I actually think the intentions of the OP are well meant - we all make mistakes but I can’t imagine what it must be like to have made such a twat of myself in front of my pupils

chickenowner · 23/12/2017 13:02

Teachers are allowed to go to nightclubs. They are allowed to get drunk. They are allowed to dance with people who are also at the nightclub.

He hasn't done anything wrong. (Unless something else happened that you haven't shared with us).

MaisyPops · 23/12/2017 13:07

TheLegendOfBeans
He's acted like a div. But acting like a div according to the hearsay of drunk teenagers isn't something to start reporting to school.

Even the dancing with someone in a club. It's a club. People can't claim it's awful because she is 17. If she is 17 and can't deal with clubs, don't pose as being 18.

He was a total div for getting involved in shoving someone. But again, fairly standard for a night club.

He's been an idiot. But it's not a safeguarding offence.

Eatalot · 23/12/2017 13:53

And the 16-18 year olds were perfectly sober enough not to exaggerate the behaviour? Half of them shouldn't have been there in the first place. Seems like they are desperate to spreqd gossip and ruin a young mans career. What awful children. You are being very unreasonable op.

MaisyPops · 23/12/2017 13:56

Eatalot
I agree. What sort of people decide to go shit stirring like like? Wait, 16/17 year olds who want to play being grown ups but still want high school drama to keep them entertained.

jellycat1 · 23/12/2017 14:10

Agree totally with Corbynsbuttflannel and also just really wanted to type her user name out Grin

jellycat1 · 23/12/2017 14:12

Oh hang on corbynsBUMflannel. I do apologise.