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Original poster

WWYD teacher behaving inappropriately

166 replies

dontknowwhattodowiththisinfo · 22/12/2017 21:25

WWYD with this information.

I have been told that last night my daughters form tutor (male aged 28) was very drunk at a local nightclub. He was grinding against a 17YO girl l and shoved an 18YO man who told him he was embarrassing himself and to go home.

Would you report it to the school? If so who to and what would you say?

OP posts:
Tiddler7 · 22/12/2017 22:49

You missed the sarcasm in my post then?

Oh no Butchy, I didn't! I meant to be sarcastic too Blush But already started Xmas wine, so obviously didn't work Grin

idontlikealdi · 22/12/2017 22:59

I wouldn't trust what the 17yo said.

Argeles · 22/12/2017 23:18

Don’t interfere.

You could easily jeopardise and damage this man’s whole career and life.

He was very drunk. A lot of people when drunk do not behave as they usually would when sober, and cannot ‘obey’ instructions given by others to stop doing certain things.

Nothing illegal happened. If this man was sober and met a 16 or 17 year old whether knowing her age or not, he could legally have a relationship with her. If he was from any other profession, people would find the age gap a bit strange, but there wouldn’t be an outrage like if he was a Teacher. I hate this double standard. If she was his student, that would be different. And I say all of this as a former Secondary school Teacher (now SAHM).

Smurfy23 · 22/12/2017 23:22

He hasnt done anything wrong. Girl isnt his student.

Unlike the 16 and 17 year old children who should not have been there in the first place.

seven201 · 22/12/2017 23:23

I can't decide on this one. I'm a teacher so make sure i don't get drunk anywhere where I might bump into a student. At the start of the year we get it drummed into us about professional conduct, we have to log if we know personally or live very close to any students etc. He's been incredibly stupid. I think he's going to have a hard time next term as the rumours will be rife and probably have been massively exaggerated. He shoved a pupil too. That is possibly the worst bit. Also, he has a safeguarding duty so should be reporting their underage drinking to the safeguarding team. Bet he wishes he hadn't gone out that night!

Snotgobbler99 · 23/12/2017 02:07

This is none of your business. No law or teaching regulation has been broken, and you should tell your daughter and her friends that it's none of their business what their teacher does in a club for over 18's.

They were perfectly aware that the 17yr old shouldn't have been in the club and - as long as other clubbers were behaving within the law - they have no right to complain.
In fact, in getting her into the club, your daughter's friends colluded in breaking the law and put the 17yr old in the way of danger. They're the ones in the wrong and they should be left in no doubt that they bear a far greater responsibility for anything bad that might have happened to her.

You seem quite happy to contemplate ruining the career of someone who hasn't done anything wrong because your daughters friends were somehow offended. Would you be similarly happy if your daughter or her friends got thrown out of college for colluding in taking a 17yr old into a club with false ID?

My father was a lawyer and he knew that I was going out clubbing and drinking before I was eighteen. He didn't disapprove but his advice was simple. "If you want to play adult games, be prepared to take adult consequences. Don't expect me to come running if you get into trouble."

Tell them all to grow up a bit and not tell tales about something they brought upon themselves. If they can't cope with the kind of thing that happens all the time in clubs they shouldn't go clubbing.

DailyMaileatmyshit · 23/12/2017 02:31

She's not his student. She was in a night club. Totally reasonable to assume a woman in a night club is 18+.

Teachers have personal lives. He's allowed to 'grind' on women in night clubs if the woman consents.

He's done nothing illegal.

PumpkinSquash · 23/12/2017 02:53

WWYD with this information. I have been told that last night my daughters form tutor (male aged 28) was very drunk at a local nightclub. He was grinding against a 17YO girl l and shoved an 18YO man who told him he was embarrassing himself and to go home. Would you report it to the school? If so who to and what would you say?

As a mum to a teenager. I have not read the subsequent replies.
Male aged 28?(How do you even know, I have no clue of my teen's form teachers age!)
Age 17? How is that relevant unless is an actual student of his? (By which would be seen as still in their care)
Why would you report it? (Assuming everyone is over-age in this scenario, and in your analysis the 17 year old is the only one legally wrong and is the one needing to face the law for being in the pub underage in the first place!)

Mistressiggi · 23/12/2017 10:16

I’d hate to think any of my colleagues viewing the 17 year olds (or 18 year olds) in their class as being fanciable material. You shouldn’t teach if you can’t view that age range as simply being off-limits. There are plenty of women in their 20s - maybe they are not impressed with the man in the way this young woman was, knowing he was her mates’ teacher.

sashh · 23/12/2017 10:30

.A man was out having a good time dancing with a young woman who was enjoying his advances. What the fuck is there to report apart from a nightclub letting underage teenagers in. Keep your nose out, 17 is hardly a child for god sake. Not one single person that you might want to report him to would be remotely interested in a man out enjoying himself trying to pull a woman. It happens every weekend in bars and clubs up and down the country.

He is a teacher, most schools have guidance that if you run across students whilst socialising then you leave, unless the student is in danger / completely shitfaced when you can act like the adult in the situation and call parents.

17, legally, is a child. If it is a student you teach (realise the girl isn't) then it doesn't matter if they are 16,17,or 19 - you are in a position of responsibility.

He needs the riot act reading to him.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 23/12/2017 10:37

if the person worked in a supermarket, would you want to report it to the manager? Or a salesperson in a store? Or a post office worker, or any job?

spidey66 · 23/12/2017 10:44

I don't think her underage drinking is worth mentioning to the safeguarding team. Police/licensing department at the council at most, but social services won't be interested in that.

Did you guys never had a drink in a pub or club until you were 18? Really?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 23/12/2017 10:47

Butt out. She's 17. She's not his pupil.

Tinycitrus · 23/12/2017 10:51

What will you be reporting?
And who are you reporting to?
Police?
His employer?

Is it worth ruining someone’s reputation and career for this?

C0untDucku1a · 23/12/2017 10:57

Report the nightclub to the police for underage drinking. You even have video evidence.

Branleuse · 23/12/2017 11:21

dancing with someone isnt having a sexual relationship with them

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/12/2017 11:27

dontknowwhattodowiththisinfo

I would leave it.
Why? because the teacher seems to be the only one not doing anything wrong.

Besides I would love to know the actual story and not the 'we were all minding our own business, and being very mature' bull that these teenagers are putting forward.

Be3Al2SiO36 · 23/12/2017 11:28

A teacher is allowed a social life just like anyone, however because of their positions in society they have a higher duty of care than others.

The nightclub is culpable on different counts.

Some teacher's (and others) careers and lives have been ruined by wild allegations also.

I do not believe it is for you to do whatever information you have OP at best it will not be accurate.

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/12/2017 11:41

Be3Al2SiO36

They have a "higher duty" to those in their care, this 17 yr old has never been in the teachers care.

Although as some posters seem desperate to vilify the teacher, the most that he has done wrong is not report the 16 and 17 yr olds to the staff for being underage.

Putyourdamnshoeson · 23/12/2017 11:46

I can not believe the tone of this thread. WTF has happened to MN lately. He teaches 17 year olds. He is in a position of power. Whether or not she's his student, her approximate age will have been apparent to him & he was told. He was wrong and i would sugggeat that those present ought to report to the governors of the school.
This no doubt breaks a code of conduct.

Wineasaurous · 23/12/2017 11:49

A man and a woman danced together in a club?!
Oh the horror?! Won't someone think of the children?!

WeAllHaveWings · 23/12/2017 11:57

He is an adult in an adult only nightclub and it is reasonable for him to expect and behave like everyone else in the nightclub is an adult too.

Sounds like the 17 and some of the 18 years olds behaviour and telling tales on teacher is more suited to the playground than a nightclub.

I would not report to the school, I would advise my dd's friend that the man is not just a teacher and she or her friends are too young to be nightclubbing.

MrMeSeeks · 23/12/2017 11:58

The only thing wrong is your child and other 16/17 y/o being in a nightclub videotaping the teacher Hmm

MrMeSeeks · 23/12/2017 12:00

WTF has happened to MN lately. He teaches 17 year olds. He is in a position of power. Whether or not she's his student, her approximate age will have been apparent to him & he was told. He was wrong and i would sugggeat that those present ought to report to the governors of the school.
Yes, how dare he assume in a nightclub that the girl he's dancing with is over 18, it being a nightclub and all...

derektheladyhamster · 23/12/2017 12:04

It's a safeguarding issue and if it happened to a teacher in my school it should be reported to the safeguarding leader. They can decide what should happen next

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