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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WWYD teacher behaving inappropriately

166 replies

dontknowwhattodowiththisinfo · 22/12/2017 21:25

WWYD with this information.

I have been told that last night my daughters form tutor (male aged 28) was very drunk at a local nightclub. He was grinding against a 17YO girl l and shoved an 18YO man who told him he was embarrassing himself and to go home.

Would you report it to the school? If so who to and what would you say?

OP posts:

mirime · 22/12/2017 22:22

If the teacher does this sort of thing regularly he'll end up on social media and will probably be in trouble.

No, the school doesn't own him, but some jobs you do have to be a bit more careful about what you do in your own time. That certainly applies to social workers, I'd assume it applies to teachers as well.

And ROFL at everyone saying it's fine to assume everyone in a nightclub is 18 or over.

AlexanderHamilton · 22/12/2017 22:23

The even if they don't teach the child position of trust thing refers to the 16/17 year old being a pupil at his school/sports club etc even if not directly taught by them. It's about power & authority. As far as we know he's done nothing wrong.

MrsSthe3rd · 22/12/2017 22:24

Minor fisticuffs?! it was a push or shove.

VladmirsPoutine · 22/12/2017 22:24

@TheLegendOfBeans I think you're right on that. Absolutely.

sailorcherries · 22/12/2017 22:27

TheLegend due to birth dates there were people in my year over a year older than me and I was regularly friendly with people 2-3 years older during my teenage years.

My age has no bearings on my friends ages.

Imstickingwiththisone · 22/12/2017 22:27

Who gave you this information OP? It's basically gossip and as the genuine witnesses challenged the teacher at the time then I don't think they will lack the confidence to tell their own parents or report it directly.

Regardless of whether it is reported I can't see the teacher lasting long with rumours of his behaviour going round the school. I know I wouldn't have had a lot of respect for a teacher who behaved like that when I was at school and nor would my peers, he'll be torn to shreds.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 22/12/2017 22:27

The op doesn't say that the girl is at the same school or even still at school though. He's not in a position of trust to every 16-18yr old!

TheLegendOfBeans · 22/12/2017 22:28

Ah, I see how that reads Butchy

But no - I think it’s laughable there are folk on this thread saying the nightclub should be done for allowing underagers whilst this guy has obviously made a complete fucking tit of himself as well as tried to get off with a lass 9 years his junior....yet if their offspring were either the boy or girl in the situation would probably be calling for the guy’s head on a spike.

Nine years is a LARGE gap at that age, whether in relation to sex or (threat of) violence. It’s a different 9 year gap to say 36 and 45 if you see what I mean. The playing field isn’t level.

donquixotedelamancha · 22/12/2017 22:28

Ruined careers?

Yep. A colleague of mine has just left teaching because of completely unfounded (I'm in a position to know) rumours about her and a student and some crap treatment from management as a result.

This bloke was unwise while drunk; not unusual. He did nothing specifically wrong (though he's a twit), but a complaint to school and/or spreading rumours will make his life hell.

Margaritaanyone89 · 22/12/2017 22:29

How was she 17 in a club? He'd assume she was 18.

If it's not his pupil, no issue! Leave him be.

TheVanguardSix · 22/12/2017 22:31

What good would come of reporting?

ButchyRestingFace · 22/12/2017 22:32

Nine years is a LARGE gap at that age, whether in relation to sex or (threat of) violence. It’s a different 9 year gap to say 36 and 45 if you see what I mean. The playing field isn’t level.

Oh, I agree with that.

But it’s not obvious to me that he’s not something actually reportable. Being distasteful isn’t a reportable offence.

But yes, I obv think OP’s offspring is one of the underagers in the club. Which might make one loathe to report him to the school in any case.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 22/12/2017 22:32

The age gap is not something I'd be happy with. But if a 16yr old wanted to shag a 50 yr old it wouldn't be illegal.

MrsSthe3rd · 22/12/2017 22:32

Actually, I think the parents (who are knowingly) allowing their 16/17 year olds into nightclubs, should maybe think twice if they're underage kids are so upset by what they see.

Tiddler7 · 22/12/2017 22:33

But then OP would have to report their own child. fsad

Oh, yeah. Let's report someone else than. Who was legally and after working hours there

CorbynsBumFlannel · 22/12/2017 22:33

Maybe the teacher has reported the ops kid to the school for drinking underage...

ButchyRestingFace · 22/12/2017 22:34

Oh, yeah. Let's report someone else than. Who was legally and after working hours there fangry

You missed the sarcasm in my post then?

NovemberWitch · 22/12/2017 22:35

Beans, I was that teenager in the 70s, and my children are adults now. Oddly enough, I’d be more worried about the underage drink and drugs scenarios than one man dancing suggestively with a willing partner.

Maelstrop · 22/12/2017 22:35

He’s an idiot for going out clubbing and seeing his pupils there but not leaving. I wouldn’t dream of socialising with my students.

shakeyourcaboose · 22/12/2017 22:35

Dear MN please help me find a way to potentially ruin someone's life over hearsay, however any part that could implicate my darling child has done something wrong, well of course ignore that!

NovemberWitch · 22/12/2017 22:37

Exactly Maelstrop. I also don’t socialise with my guard down with parents either.

LondonLassInTheCountry · 22/12/2017 22:38

16/17 year olds shouldnt be in a night club.

And most men will think the females are over 18 and they are in an adult club.

Moanaohnana · 22/12/2017 22:40

How ridiculous. He could have taken her home and shagged her brains out and STILL not have done anything that is anyone's business but his/her own. You sound like a pearl clutching idiot.

DorisDangleberry · 22/12/2017 22:44

OP clearly it is important to you to try and ruin someone’s career based upon heresay and rumour. Why is that?

mirime · 22/12/2017 22:44

And most men will think the females are over 18 and they are in an adult club.

They're idiots then. And in this case the teacher knew there were under 18s there because some of them were his students.

Somebody should probably have a word with the teacher. If he carries on he's going to lose the respect of his students, and is just asking for trouble really. A quick Google suggests he could be at risk of being accused of bringing teaching into disrepute.

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