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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD teacher behaving inappropriately

166 replies

dontknowwhattodowiththisinfo · 22/12/2017 21:25

WWYD with this information.

I have been told that last night my daughters form tutor (male aged 28) was very drunk at a local nightclub. He was grinding against a 17YO girl l and shoved an 18YO man who told him he was embarrassing himself and to go home.

Would you report it to the school? If so who to and what would you say?

OP posts:
chocolateorangeowls · 22/12/2017 21:39

How do you know he is 28? Just out of interest.

Splinterz · 22/12/2017 21:40

What is inappropriate is bratty 16yo kids videoing teacher hoping to blackmail them.

SnowFairyDust · 22/12/2017 21:41

Not great but I'd keep out of it.

JeReviens · 22/12/2017 21:41

Oh put your notebook away and resist the urge to report everyone for everything ffs. What IS it with MN and reporting stuff? This scenario - if it happened - is precisely none of your business.

Mistressiggi · 22/12/2017 21:42

There’s a problem that you didn’t see what actually happened. From your OP I thought he was forcing himself against this girl but they were choosing to dance together. That said he was behaving unprofessionally by drinking in front of his students and coming on to a school-aged young woman. His professional body would be very unimpressed.

TheLegendOfBeans · 22/12/2017 21:43

When I was 17 a teacher at my school was in the same situation.

He was read the riot act by the head, threatened with suspension for bringing the name of the school into disrepute and basically told he was fucking lucky the lass he was sleazing was north of 16 (just) else dismissal would be the least of his worries.
He parted ways with the school and the city just under a year later.

Teachers are allowed to have a social life as much as anyone else but just as with anyone else who’s got a duty of care and position of responsibility as part of their profession there’s things you just don’t fecking do - really obvious things.

Northernparent68 · 22/12/2017 21:44

Why do n’t the 18 year olds mind their own business ? Do they really think a teacher is n’t allowed to get drunk, or try and pull in a nightclub.

sailorcherries · 22/12/2017 21:44

Adult in club assumes other people in club with him is an adult.

Runs in to pupils he teaches and they have a jolly good time making fun of him, trying to video him and intervening in his consenual dance.

The only thing wrong is when parents knowingly allow their underage child to go clubbing and then get annoyed at others thinking they are older.
And the behaviour of these pupils.

RedHelenB · 22/12/2017 21:44

Actually he is stepping out of line as she is under 18 and he was told this and as a teacher who will have attended safeguarding he would know this.

Original poster
dontknowwhattodowiththisinfo · 22/12/2017 21:44

Blackmail? That's a weird take on it.

These replies are a bit weird and harsh - I asked WWYD and rather than tell me you'd leave it, everything gone a bit aggro. Can we all take a deep breath? Ruined careers? Where's it coming from.

A silly man got drunk and behaved inappropriately with his students - showing off and acting a dick, it seems pretty pathetic to me, but his students were upset so I asked.

OP posts:
Violletta · 22/12/2017 21:44

what you should be doing is reporting the nightclub for serving under 18s

this! if you have to report someone/thing make sure you are reporting the right thing

if he is not her teacher, then its his own business

Original poster
dontknowwhattodowiththisinfo · 22/12/2017 21:46

TheLegendOfBeans - exactly what I think

OP posts:
sailorcherries · 22/12/2017 21:46

And he wasn't acting unprofessionally drinking in front of students, on his own time, in a place they legally shouldn't be.

sailorcherries · 22/12/2017 21:47

His students were so upset they filmed it? Hmm

MrsSthe3rd · 22/12/2017 21:47

Yes, report if you must. But report the right thing........seems like a few parents will get brought in to school off the back of this too.

rainbowunicorn · 22/12/2017 21:47

What utter nonsense OP and a few other idiots on this thread. A man was out having a good time dancing with a young woman who was enjoying his advances. What the fuck is there to report apart from a nightclub letting underage teenagers in. Keep your nose out, 17 is hardly a child for god sake. Not one single person that you might want to report him to would be remotely interested in a man out enjoying himself trying to pull a woman. It happens every weekend in bars and clubs up and down the country. Just because he is a teacher does not mean he should not be able to go out and enjoy himself. Only the cub is at fault in this entire scenario for allowing underage people in.

Witchend · 22/12/2017 21:48

Nightclubs round here are much stricter over age than they were when I was at school. Round here she'd not only have had to have fake ID, but also for the bouncers to look at her and not suspect she was under age, as they will turn away anyone they're suspicious of.
Dh is a street angel and one of the things they do often end up with is dealing with upset, usually girls, who have been refused entry due to looking/being under age.

JeReviens · 22/12/2017 21:49

If the students were so terribly traumatised I doubt they'd have been filming it. In fact - if they were that upset perhaps they're just not ready for night clubs yet?
You haven't said how they managed to be in the club given their ages anyway - how did that happen?

NovemberWitch · 22/12/2017 21:49

A mess for all of them, drunk teacher on his own turf rather than elsewhere, illegal underage nightclubbing and reporting hearsay as fact. Report everything, watch them all go down in flames.

Splinterz · 22/12/2017 21:50

So why were the Ikkle darling videoing the bloke then? or do they generally just video people?

Anasnake · 22/12/2017 21:51

How do you know they didn't set him up ?

CorbynsBumFlannel · 22/12/2017 21:51

Nothing to report. The girl wasn't his student and was over the age of consent. He could quite legally be in a relationship with a 16 yr old if he didn't teach them as distasteful as you might find the age gap.
The only people doing anything illegal here are those who are allowing under 18s into licenced premises at night. No doubt they are aware of this if there are loads of 16-18 yr olds who go there and they know they will be let in. I would report the venue in your situation.

Mumof56 · 22/12/2017 21:52

Drinking and nightclubbing are over 18 activities.

ButchyRestingFace · 22/12/2017 21:52

Totally reasonable for a drunk bloke to believe everyone in a nite club is over 18

This.

Was your offspring one of the underagers in the club, Dontknow?

rollingonariver · 22/12/2017 21:54

Being truthful it's the kind of thing we would embellish at that age (I'm only 20 now). I highly doubt it's true and even if it is it's not worth ruining a mans career over. As pps have said, it's not unreasonable for a person to assume someone is over 18 in a club and the age of consent is 16. He would lose his career and its not worth it.
The fact that you know his age exactly worries me because it seems you know way too much about each teacher. Parents like that we're always the ones we targeted to spread things, needless to say we didn't realise lives could be ruined.

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