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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being called a 'fucking slut' at Tesco

164 replies

pourmeanother · 22/12/2017 16:40

WTAF?

A few hours ago, I went to my local Tesco superstore with my 3 DC (3,5,7).

V v busy in car park. Circled the P&C parking slots a few times as always get free after a while. Sure enough, after just 1 min 2 spaces look like getting freed...

So - as per diagram (I know you luvs them 🤗) I was clearly waiting at the little junction with indicator on. Only for a few secs. No one behind me. Not bothering anyone.

Car come out of space I show in diagram I go into. Meanwhile, TwatMan approaches in car. All the while, my indicator is on. It's obvious what's going on.

He waits, as I do, while we wait for the car to come out of the space and as soon as the car has passed me, I nip left, do a turn and I'm in the space.

Bear in mind, car goes past TwatMan. He couldn't get past her. It was obvious for me to get in there first as I had space. And had been waiting.

So I did.

He got a space in the next second in a space v v near.

As he left his car , while I got out my 3 DC he shouted for my attention. 'Oy' 'Oy you'.

I ignored him, thinking, seriously, this twat cant be for real.

My 3 DC came out of the car and I looked over to him because he wasn't giving up.

He shouted, 'You went right in front of me then.'

(I didn't - he should have seen I was going to move at the same time as the other car)

Then - I couldn't believe this - he picked his little girl out of her car seat and screamed at me 'FUCKING SLUT'.

I was incredulous. Fight or flight. So I shouted back at him, 'Happy Christmas too, love'.

As I walked into the store with my 3 little DC , he walked next to me, carrying his little girl. I told him he needed help. He was acting like a psycho and I felt so sorry for his poor child.

I actually just dribbled stuff because I was shitting myself for me and the kids. Like I said, fight or flight. I could hear my voice was all over the place.

During my bits when I said 'poor poor child' and that I'd be calling the police if he carried on, he said I was 'all passive aggressive!

That set my blood cold. You can just imagine the home dynamic. Poor soul who has to live with him.

I can't tell you - he was totally horrendous.

I know IANBU.

I just needed to vent.

Poor child. She's gonna have to grow up with that as a father figure.

Being called a 'fucking slut' at Tesco
OP posts:
1DAD2KIDS · 23/12/2017 09:22

Aside from analysing the factors that created the situation.

MsGameandWatching · 23/12/2017 09:23

Oh come on. Calling a woman a slut just isn't something a usually decent, good hearted fellow would do. A man using that kind of language has a certain mindset and no amount of Christmas stress or indeed any other kind of stress excuses it.

TheDowagerCuntess · 23/12/2017 09:27

Knock it off, 1DAD - only one type of person calls a woman a 'fucking slut' in front of both their children, for a non-indiscretion.

Liskee · 23/12/2017 09:31

Your sneaky space stealing action (all’s fair in love and car parks btw) shouldn’t result in being called a fucking slut. He needs to get some more situation appropriate insults tbh. But your response was totally right.

TheDowagerCuntess · 23/12/2017 09:32

How was it space stealing, when she was there first?

MsGameandWatching · 23/12/2017 09:44

It wasn't.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 23/12/2017 09:46

.He may not be normally the unpleasant person at home you have imagined

I think anyone who has the word "slut" as part of their vocabulary is unlikely to be a nice person.

Just thinking of what my husband would do if it had been him- probably at the point it happened mutter something like 'tosser". He would then find the other space and never dream of confronting the other person, let alone in this manner.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 23/12/2017 10:40

Men like that, OP, are just waiting for women to transgress so they can unleash their inner misogyny.

WeAllHaveWings · 23/12/2017 14:11

I really don't get that rules of the road don't apply in a car park. It might not be illegal, but if everyone decided to ignore the basic rules of the road in busy carparks there would be chaos and more accidents. If you are at a junction in a carpark you don't pull out onto the straight until it is clear. The OP clearly pulled out of a junction in the carpark when there was a car approaching from her right so she could "nip" into a space that she saw was hers not caring that she cut closely in front of him. She knew what she did was wrong as when he approached her saying "Oy you" she knew exactly what it was about.

She was wrong "nipping" about, cutting across a road from a junction in a pre Xmas busy carpark where there are other cars and pedestrians including children, not expecting this manoeuvre while probably distracted by your own children in the car. I can understand the other driver being a bit peeved at the poor driving and saying something to a driver doing this, but his abusive response to the OP was disproportionate and unacceptable.

MiniMum97 · 23/12/2017 17:49

How did she steal his space! She was there first! That’s the rule with spaces. First come, first served!

Hawthorn1000 · 23/12/2017 17:50

It wasn't 'his space' - this is a supermarket car park.

Manners and common sense apply not the Road Traffic Act

It may not have been obvious that she was indicating to move into the space but I am not sure that there is an indicator that would do that job!

She pulled into a vacant space that she was opposite waiting to enter - the other guy might not (or obviously didn't) see it that way but there you go.

If the chap had been sitting with his indicator on waiting to pull in for the same time and then she pulled in front then that would have been bad manners on her part and he could have been irritated. That isn't what happened (as far as we are aware) but he was still more than irritated,

His behaviour was entirely unacceptable in those circumstances and she should have asked the store security for help and they may have felt that the police might have been asked to speak to this man due to the impact his behaviours have had on this woman and her children.

DagenhamRoundhouse · 23/12/2017 18:33

You get a better class of parker at Waitrose!

TheDowagerCuntess · 23/12/2017 18:50

It's first in, first served at car parks - whoever gets there first waits - and indicates their intention.

If twatman didn't see the OP indicating, that's his issue and he's allowed to be annoyed that he didn't see what was going on (seriously - would anyone posting on this thread honestly feel entitled to a park they had come to second, and that someone else had indicated they were intending to take?).

What he's not allowed to be is to feel in anyway entitled to the park, nor to abuse the other person.

Maireadplastic · 23/12/2017 19:39

Dagenham- you really don't. And as for how car drivers treat those of us deign to WALK (ugh, how plebby) through the car park into Waitrose.....

Alibobbob · 23/12/2017 19:46

OP I don’t think you did anything wrong. His behaviour was totally unacceptable and aggressive.

In the same situation I would be scared and intimidated. Be proud of yourself for sticking up for yourself and showing your children ow to deal with a bully. I bet your kids were scared.

Put it down to the CF having a bad day x

VintagePammy · 23/12/2017 23:18

Count to 14 girl there are plenty of idiotshites out there! Just think poor child will possibility marry the same idioshite her father is what a shame. I pity the poor mother that has to live with him! Poor girl.....

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 24/12/2017 01:16

I think the OP was a bad driver here. If I had seen her indicating I would have assumed she was turning left to continue going left - not that she was going to cut in front of a car going straight ahead.

So from that point of view it would have been perfectly fair for a driver of either sex, whilst in their car, to swear or be momentarily annoyed. I can imagine many/most (?) people thinking "ffs I could have driven into you"

It takes an exceptional degree of nastiness however to make your default in this situation "fucking slut".

Mrstwiddle · 24/12/2017 01:44

There's some complete arses around, this guy is one of them. Whenever I come across someone who behaves like a complete prat in public, I always think karma will get them in the end :)

juliesaway · 24/12/2017 02:04

Honestly the roughest folk crawl out from under their stones to go shopping this time of year. Feel for you OP. No one should be insulted like that in public with children around.

Reddlion · 24/12/2017 03:02

You are a woman alone. This doesn't surprise me happens to me regularly.
If you were a big hench man or two you think he would of been so annoyed?

So sorry abou4 this op but it is like the norm these days

Peppapigsucks · 24/12/2017 07:44

Unfortunately from your diagram it appears you ignored the UK highway code rule which is to always give way to the right. If I was waiting for that space I would have been in his position with my indicator on right so I can slightly see why he is annoyed. That said just because you made a slight error, doesn't give him the right to verbally abuse you, particularly in front of children! Clearly a classless individual. Best to ignore people like that and take the high road rather than end up in a slanging match. At Christmas tensions run high and it is so silly, I've seen near punch ups over spaces at our local supermarkets and we live in a supposedly nice area! Hmm In the words of Elsa "Let it go..'"

Be3Al2SiO36 · 24/12/2017 07:48

Don't worry about the parking issue.

Thing is the guy is a loser, it may take him some time to work it out, in fact he may not at all but he will go through life very frustrated for sure.

Crazyunicornlady · 24/12/2017 08:11

Our Tesco car park has road markings - in the position where OP stopped there would be give way lines. In that case she did push in.

pourmeanother · 24/12/2017 09:09

Thanks for all the responses! I've stopped thinking about it now and am chilled again.

I have to head back to Tesco again today though for a few last minute things.

Gulp.

I will take on board all advice about pushing in front of fellow shoppers.

If this had all been about getting the last bag of sprouts, not sure I'd have lived to tell the tale. Wink

OP posts:
5foot5 · 24/12/2017 09:43

Have a lovely Christmas OP and enjoy the rest of your day.
I have RTFT and I think you did NOTHING wrong in the car park and handled the situation as well as anyone could in the circumstances.

I am not sure how I would have reacted but probably the same. It does sound scary. And I agree that anyone behaving like that in front of children sounds like an absolute bullying arsehol.

Glad you are putting it behind you.[fsmike]