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AIBU?

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Original poster

Being called a 'fucking slut' at Tesco

164 replies

pourmeanother · 22/12/2017 16:40

WTAF?

A few hours ago, I went to my local Tesco superstore with my 3 DC (3,5,7).

V v busy in car park. Circled the P&C parking slots a few times as always get free after a while. Sure enough, after just 1 min 2 spaces look like getting freed...

So - as per diagram (I know you luvs them 🤗) I was clearly waiting at the little junction with indicator on. Only for a few secs. No one behind me. Not bothering anyone.

Car come out of space I show in diagram I go into. Meanwhile, TwatMan approaches in car. All the while, my indicator is on. It's obvious what's going on.

He waits, as I do, while we wait for the car to come out of the space and as soon as the car has passed me, I nip left, do a turn and I'm in the space.

Bear in mind, car goes past TwatMan. He couldn't get past her. It was obvious for me to get in there first as I had space. And had been waiting.

So I did.

He got a space in the next second in a space v v near.

As he left his car , while I got out my 3 DC he shouted for my attention. 'Oy' 'Oy you'.

I ignored him, thinking, seriously, this twat cant be for real.

My 3 DC came out of the car and I looked over to him because he wasn't giving up.

He shouted, 'You went right in front of me then.'

(I didn't - he should have seen I was going to move at the same time as the other car)

Then - I couldn't believe this - he picked his little girl out of her car seat and screamed at me 'FUCKING SLUT'.

I was incredulous. Fight or flight. So I shouted back at him, 'Happy Christmas too, love'.

As I walked into the store with my 3 little DC , he walked next to me, carrying his little girl. I told him he needed help. He was acting like a psycho and I felt so sorry for his poor child.

I actually just dribbled stuff because I was shitting myself for me and the kids. Like I said, fight or flight. I could hear my voice was all over the place.

During my bits when I said 'poor poor child' and that I'd be calling the police if he carried on, he said I was 'all passive aggressive!

That set my blood cold. You can just imagine the home dynamic. Poor soul who has to live with him.

I can't tell you - he was totally horrendous.

I know IANBU.

I just needed to vent.

Poor child. She's gonna have to grow up with that as a father figure.

Being called a 'fucking slut' at Tesco
OP posts:
dinosaursandtea · 22/12/2017 17:30

The ‘poor poor child’ thing was too far, though. You should have just let it go then - he’s an arsehole but if he was really acting ‘psycho’ then talking back to him could have put you in a very unsafe position

classicchristmas · 22/12/2017 17:30

Oh you poor thing OP that is horrible it really is. I possibly would have replied, just the adrenaline sometimes makes you react.

I am laughing at your labelling of him as TWAT though, that did make it funny.

Hope you are ok now x

Lilmisskittykat · 22/12/2017 17:32

This is funny you acknowledge he had right of way but still think it was 'your space'? I take it that the laws of the road don't exist when it comes to a space or whilst driving in a car park ?

I can see His reaction was quite aggressive though but I guessed he was pissed

Original poster
pourmeanother · 22/12/2017 17:35

There were 2 visible spaces at the time of the incident. I saw that. He must have seen it too. Both in our eye line.

I took one - left one for him.

He took it straight away.

But I was still a 'fucking slut.

OP posts:
BumWad · 22/12/2017 17:38

Bollocks he had right of way.

It’s a Car park there’s no such thing Confused

youngnomore · 22/12/2017 17:38

There is no excuse to speaking to anyone like that. Especially when you’re around children. I’ve been in similar situation op. It’s awful and have cried when I got back home.

cathyclown · 22/12/2017 17:38

Sit down, have a lovely tea or coffee or whatever, and move on.

It is Christmas and the stressors are all around us now. Most especially in supermarket/shopping centre car parks.

Shit like this happens all the time. Do not let it get to you please. Life is far too short.

RedForFilth · 22/12/2017 17:43

Moral of this story op - next year go to Waitrose. Honestly you just don't get those horrible ignorant swearing individuals there.
I know I am massively generalising here but I have been going to Waitrose pre Christmas for years and have never seen or heard anything like you described.
Sorry but this isn't true for every Waitrose branch. I used to work in one in Yorkshire. We had a man call us fucking commoners because of our accents! Staff being called thick as fuck because we were out of stock of something, a man of around 50 screaming at a 16 year old girl in her face to the point where we had to threaten calling him with the police. There are more stories too, bottom line is you get cunts everywhere.

OP yes he was just awful, shameful actually. But you know you were in the wrong space wise and for continuing the exchange. That doesn't negate what he called you though.

Original poster
pourmeanother · 22/12/2017 17:43

Thank you - don't worry. I'm ok now. I was seriously shaky when doing shop in Tesco. Couldn't get out of there fast enough. (Not easy with 3 kids!!).

We've had a lovely afternoon in the kitchen making shortbread and listening to Xmas tunes.

(Fuck 😁😁😁 auto thing called it shitbread. Which it probs is!!!! 😂😂😂)

OP posts:
HarrietSchulenberg · 22/12/2017 17:47

You can just imagine the home dynamic

Meaning you can be judgmental about an entire family based on one encounter with a bad tempered bloke at a stressful time of year? He doesn't sound an incredible example of parenthood but you didn't clothe yourself in righteous glory either by publicly commenting on his "poor, poor child". That IS passive aggressive, he was right on that one.

Anyway, it's over, so shove him to the back of your mind and get on with enjoying your Christmas.

Namechangetempissue · 22/12/2017 17:48

Best thing to do in these situations is get your phone out and say calmly that if he continues you will call the police. Usually shuts them right up. I wouldn't have entered into any further dialogue with him beyond that.

cathyclown · 22/12/2017 17:48

Glad you're ok OP.

Enjoy the shortbread. Love that stuff.

WeAllHaveWings · 22/12/2017 17:56

He had no right to be abusive, even though you did cut across in front of him.

KurriKurri · 22/12/2017 18:07

Supermarket car parks at this time of year are places of total insanity. I last went about 2 weeks ago and some arsehole reversed straight into the side of my car while I was driving down the aisle bit between the bays, he didn't even look just shot out. (And two other people did unbelievably crazy things while I was in the car park)
I haven't been back to the supermarket since and won't go until after Christmas - it is complete mayhem.

I think you probably did take 'his' space OP, but it's a bloody parking space and he got another one easily - shouting and swearing over a parking space ? People lose all sense of proportion at this time of year.

Original poster
pourmeanother · 22/12/2017 18:10

Yeah. The 'home dynamic'.

The 'home' that has the words;

'fucking';

'slut';

' passive aggressive'

being used in front of, I'd estimate, a little 2 yr old girl.

In a public space in front of anyone else.

Yeah. I'd assume the 'home dynamic' would be worse. Where he would really 'let go'.

Wouldn't you?

OP posts:
Original poster
pourmeanother · 22/12/2017 18:12

It left me fucking cold, tbh.

And I think that's why I posted.

I never had a feeling really about the parking. Whatevs .

OP posts:
specialsubject · 22/12/2017 18:14

'Stole the space'????

Are you the parent or the child?

Even if she did, a verbal assault is hardly justified.

TheHandmaidsTail · 22/12/2017 18:17

  1. It is always survival of the fittest in car parks
  2. Any spot is fair game 2 days before xmas, you snooze you lose
  3. Would he have had a go at a big hulking man, probably not.
  4. If he thinks calling women that in public is acceptable and his temper is that uncontrolled then ...Sad

Horrible experience for you and all dc.

kaytee87 · 22/12/2017 18:18

It was a horrible thing for him to shout at you. Some men are so aggressive and sadly some of them really dislike women.

One Sunday morning, my 60yo mother, myself and baby ds (under a year at this time) in his pram has gotten out of the car on our way to church when a van driven by some young boy racer came screeching past us narrowly missing the pram, did what looked like a hand break turn at the bottom of the car park and headed back towards us. I made a 'slow down' sign with my hand and indicated I had a pram.
The 2 young guys in the van screamed out the window 'fuck off you fucking prostitutes' before speeding away.
My poor Mum was really shaken, I was gobsmacked. This was a Sunday morning in a 'naice' area. I wonder if this kind of thing goes on all the time.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 22/12/2017 18:23

I don't get all this you stole "his" space
Did it have "Twats space" written there.

woodhill · 22/12/2017 18:27

Awful behaviour of man OP, so disproportionate and I'm sure he could see you waiting patiently.

Sounds a real charmer and why do men always make comments like this, so derogatory.

Hope you are ok OP.

Original poster
pourmeanother · 22/12/2017 18:30

I think that was it - it was just such an inappropriate thing to shout out at 1pm.

In front of my 3 kids and his own in his arms.

I know you had to be there but I really promise I'm not a cheeky fucker driver. I'm really quite timid as a rule. I'm not that confident.
I took the space thinking it was really quite obviously mine to take and nip in.

There was no way he could have got into it first.

He got the other free space which I saw and he must have too.

No harm done. We both had to get a space.

There was no fight for a space. The way he spoke was incredible.

Anyway

Happy Chrimbo. X

OP posts:
TheDowagerCuntess · 22/12/2017 18:34

It's a car park, not a road.

The OP got their first, and indicated her intention.

Either way, his reaction was incredible.

TheDowagerCuntess · 22/12/2017 18:44

When I say it's a car park, not a road, I just mean the usual rules don't - can't - really apply.

People are moving around, and inching in and out of spaces, and it has to work in a slightly different way - first come, first served - purely to ease congestion.

RomansRevenge · 22/12/2017 18:59

You sound equally as bad tbh.

If you had stolen my parking space I would’ve yelled at you too.