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Original poster

Being called a 'fucking slut' at Tesco

164 replies

pourmeanother · 22/12/2017 16:40

WTAF?

A few hours ago, I went to my local Tesco superstore with my 3 DC (3,5,7).

V v busy in car park. Circled the P&C parking slots a few times as always get free after a while. Sure enough, after just 1 min 2 spaces look like getting freed...

So - as per diagram (I know you luvs them 🤗) I was clearly waiting at the little junction with indicator on. Only for a few secs. No one behind me. Not bothering anyone.

Car come out of space I show in diagram I go into. Meanwhile, TwatMan approaches in car. All the while, my indicator is on. It's obvious what's going on.

He waits, as I do, while we wait for the car to come out of the space and as soon as the car has passed me, I nip left, do a turn and I'm in the space.

Bear in mind, car goes past TwatMan. He couldn't get past her. It was obvious for me to get in there first as I had space. And had been waiting.

So I did.

He got a space in the next second in a space v v near.

As he left his car , while I got out my 3 DC he shouted for my attention. 'Oy' 'Oy you'.

I ignored him, thinking, seriously, this twat cant be for real.

My 3 DC came out of the car and I looked over to him because he wasn't giving up.

He shouted, 'You went right in front of me then.'

(I didn't - he should have seen I was going to move at the same time as the other car)

Then - I couldn't believe this - he picked his little girl out of her car seat and screamed at me 'FUCKING SLUT'.

I was incredulous. Fight or flight. So I shouted back at him, 'Happy Christmas too, love'.

As I walked into the store with my 3 little DC , he walked next to me, carrying his little girl. I told him he needed help. He was acting like a psycho and I felt so sorry for his poor child.

I actually just dribbled stuff because I was shitting myself for me and the kids. Like I said, fight or flight. I could hear my voice was all over the place.

During my bits when I said 'poor poor child' and that I'd be calling the police if he carried on, he said I was 'all passive aggressive!

That set my blood cold. You can just imagine the home dynamic. Poor soul who has to live with him.

I can't tell you - he was totally horrendous.

I know IANBU.

I just needed to vent.

Poor child. She's gonna have to grow up with that as a father figure.

Being called a 'fucking slut' at Tesco
OP posts:
festivedinosaur · 22/12/2017 21:34

viviennemary 😳😱

festivedinosaur · 22/12/2017 21:35

@pourmeanother WineThanksGin

buttfacedmiscreant · 22/12/2017 22:46

again, astounded by the number of people who think there is a right of way on unmarked roads, let alone car parks.

Read the frigging highway code.

buttfacedmiscreant · 22/12/2017 22:52

As for the choice of phrase yeah, he may have been angry but even when provoked people don't tend to pick phrases that aren't in their regular vocabulary, e.g. I'd be much much more likely to call someone an 'arse' if they acted poorly than a 'bellend' or 'tosser' because bellend and tosser aren't really something I come across or say in my daily life. So in a stressful moment if I wanted to be extremely rude I'd probably say arsehole. Not that that is a nice word, but if he said slut it is probably in his vocabulary, even if he doesn't commonly use it.

TrojansAreSmegheads · 22/12/2017 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoAteAllthePercyPigs · 23/12/2017 03:31

I'm amazed at how many people are avoiding the main issue here. Which is that some men STILL think it's perfectly acceptable to use such casually abusive language towards women. Especially in front of small children! There are many ways in which he could have conveyed his frustration - a simple 'excuse me, did you know you took the space I was waiting for?' would have sufficed. OP apologies/explains = job done. No feelings are hurt.

I mean, i understand parking rage gets to is all at times. But to call someone a fucking slut is so incredibly off the scale inappropriate! Can't help feeling that arguing the semantics of the parking space is a bit of a 'chuck the dying cat in' way of avoiding the uncomfortable truth here. Have we learnt nothing post Weinstein??

WhoAteAllthePercyPigs · 23/12/2017 03:32

Apologies for the typos! Exhausted fingers whilst feeding a wriggly baby...

Oxcheeks · 23/12/2017 03:49

OP you should have approached security or customer services in the store to get him escorted off, no-one should be spoken to in that way

melj1213 · 23/12/2017 04:09

OP you should have approached security or customer services in the store to get him escorted off, no-one should be spoken to in that way

In my store there is no way we'd throw out a customer just because they had shouted one comment in the car park at another customer, especially if it occurred outside the building and wasn't actually seen/heard by any staff and therefore we couldn't verify what had happened.

I'd be sympathetic to them feeling upset and/or a bit shaken and would facilitate a staff member accompanying a customer to their car if they felt they needed it and obviously if it had escalated beyond shouted insults we would act (depending on what was said/if threats were made etc) but our staff are not referees - yes he was rude and insulting but the OP also continued the exchange and was passive aggressive in talking about the man's daughter as a poor child instead of just walking away and finding a staff member immediately.

This time of year brings out the worst in people in shops and I've been called worse things by customers than "fucking slut" over even more trivial things than a parking space in the last few days alone (and I can't wait for the annual Boxing Day insult bingo we do at work to survive the day) but I just try to brush it off and not engage with those angry people.

Cosmic123 · 23/12/2017 05:52

He sounds like a bit of a dick but from your diagram he definitely had right of way. Also, not excusing him but Christmas is a very stressful time for people and who knows what was going on in his life. He shouldn't have spoken to you like that but I don't think you can fully know what someone is like from one encounter. He shouldn't have spoken to you like that and it's not a good example to his daughter but if I'm honest I've probably done something similar when I was having a really shit day (maybe not as extreme as him). Sounds like a horrible experience for you and your kids. I hope you manage to forget about it now and have a nice Christmas.

bimbobaggins · 23/12/2017 06:05

He sounds like a wanker but “ set my blood cold” is a bit much.
It’s never worth getting into a spat over a parking space

1DAD2KIDS · 23/12/2017 06:13

He wasn't very pleasant to you and out of order what he said. It wasnt very nice for you or any of the children involved. Having said that he did have grounds to be annoyed at your driving actions. He may not be normally the unpleasant person at home you have imagined. Even the some of the most pleasant civl people can get get masivly over raged over offensence or near miss driving incidents. Road rage resulting from perceiving someone doing something incorrect or dangerous is common to all sorts of people. Then add the extra Christmas stress and stress of shopping. In my line of work we see far suicides over the Christmas period. Plus you don't know what is going on in his personal life at that time. Doing what you did may have been the straw that broke the camel's back.

MyNameIsJane · 23/12/2017 06:26

Melj1213 - I am very sorry that you have first hand and frequent experience of the nasty side of Christmas - OP, you too.

ethelfleda · 23/12/2017 06:26

For fucks sake. People on here are utter morons sometimes

Who gives a flying fuck who's space it was or who had right of way?? The bloke was an utter twat. Simple as that. I'm sure the OP has learned not to rely on mn for reassurance after this load of shite.

scurryfunge · 23/12/2017 06:36

Ethel, everyone has agreed his behaviour was unacceptable.

Mammylamb · 23/12/2017 06:38

Couple of days before Christmas, you stole someone's parking space. Yip, they're gonna be pissed off. Ok, calling you a slut was out of order but you really shouldn't have solen his space

Mustang27 · 23/12/2017 06:40

1dad2kids he called her "fucking slut" that's not acceptable ever. No matter how stressed you are due to Christmas or any time of the year.

He could have shouted 'you shouldn't have a licence' if he was appalled at her parking etiquette as that's really what it was he took umbrage against.

He was trying to intimidate that's never acceptable. I'm sure if it's his daughter in 30yrs time with her kids he'd be livid that someone spoke to her like that. Can't have it both ways 🤷‍♀️

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 23/12/2017 06:54

Some people have really low expectations of what is okay behaviour.

Let me correct that for you:

Some people have really low expectations of what is okay behaviour for men. Women’s behaviour however is scrutinised and pored over to find ways she might possibly have deserved what she got.

JohnHunter · 23/12/2017 07:40

For me his choice of words are less important than the fact that he made the OP fear for her safety and for the safety of her DCs. That can't ever be acceptable, even if he hadn't used that choice of words. The fact that she might or might not have pulled in front of him really should be irrelevant.

woodhill · 23/12/2017 08:20

I don't think Op stole his space, she was waiting patiently for person to move out.

TheDowagerCuntess · 23/12/2017 08:32

Sorry OP but you really cannot make an assumption about someone's home life based on one stressed encounter in a pre-Christmas car park, however much better that might make you feel about the situation.

FFS, of course she can. And in this instance, she'd be blatantly right.

TrojansAreSmegheads · 23/12/2017 09:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsGameandWatching · 23/12/2017 09:20

Christ on a bike, this thread! You did nothing wrong OP, nothing. You stood up for yourself, which was a perfectly natural and understandable reaction, you made him think about his disgusting hateful name calling and quite possibly shut down further bullying. I'd have said exactly what you said. I bet your heart was racing and your adrenaline triggered. Why on earth should you scuttle off ignoring what he said? You didn't escalate it, HE did and clearly your words brought him to his senses to a certain extent because the encounter ended. I'm not sure how else you could have handled it really.

1DAD2KIDS · 23/12/2017 09:20

Mustang27 what bit of I start my post off saying he was out of order. As scurryfunge said everyone has agreed his behaviour was unacceptable . My point was there are all sort of human factors that can cause people to act in a vile way and the reaction to the car park incident may not be indicative to the suggestion of this person's home life or attitude towards their partner (if indeed they have one) as OP has hinted at.

1DAD2KIDS · 23/12/2017 09:22

OP I think you Handled the situation well.