Being called a 'fucking slut' at Tesco

[pourmeanother]

WTAF?

A few hours ago, I went to my local Tesco superstore with my 3 DC (3,5,7).

V v busy in car park. Circled the P&C parking slots a few times as always get free after a while. Sure enough, after just 1 min 2 spaces look like getting freed...

So - as per diagram (I know you luvs them 🤗) I was clearly waiting at the little junction with indicator on. Only for a few secs. No one behind me. Not bothering anyone.

Car come out of space I show in diagram I go into. Meanwhile, TwatMan approaches in car. All the while, my indicator is on. It's obvious what's going on.

He waits, as I do, while we wait for the car to come out of the space and as soon as the car has passed me, I nip left, do a turn and I'm in the space.

Bear in mind, car goes past TwatMan. He couldn't get past her. It was obvious for me to get in there first as I had space. And had been waiting.

So I did.

He got a space in the next second in a space v v near.

As he left his car , while I got out my 3 DC he shouted for my attention. 'Oy' 'Oy you'.

I ignored him, thinking, seriously, this twat cant be for real.

My 3 DC came out of the car and I looked over to him because he wasn't giving up.

He shouted, 'You went right in front of me then.'

(I didn't - he should have seen I was going to move at the same time as the other car)

Then - I couldn't believe this - he picked his little girl out of her car seat and screamed at me 'FUCKING SLUT'.

I was incredulous. Fight or flight. So I shouted back at him, 'Happy Christmas too, love'.

As I walked into the store with my 3 little DC , he walked next to me, carrying his little girl. I told him he needed help. He was acting like a psycho and I felt so sorry for his poor child.

I actually just dribbled stuff because I was shitting myself for me and the kids. Like I said, fight or flight. I could hear my voice was all over the place.

During my bits when I said 'poor poor child' and that I'd be calling the police if he carried on, he said I was 'all passive aggressive!

That set my blood cold. You can just imagine the home dynamic. Poor soul who has to live with him.

I can't tell you - he was totally horrendous.

I know IANBU.

I just needed to vent.

Poor child. She's gonna have to grow up with that as a father figure.

I didn't steal the parking space.

He didn't say I did that.

He said I drove too close in front of him.

There were 2 spaces.

I drove over the way, I got a space. No where nr his car. Another car went past him too.

He got a space. We could both see the 2 spaces.

I made my way when I could. He made his way when the other car cleared.

Both spaces were fine.

I still was a 'fucking slut.

In front of 4 infants.

That was kind of WIBU?

Sorry OP but you really cannot make an assumption about someone's home life based on one stressed encounter in a pre-Christmas car park, however much better that might make you feel about the situation. I have occasionally sworn in front of my children in stressful situations but I am not an abusive twat with an horrendous domestic life.

You can allow yourself to wallow in superiority by picturing the man's fictional home if you like, or you could chalk it up to festive parking stress and let it go.

'Slut' though?

You reckon that's not a term for a dad to be using without wonder or question?

He went up to her and called her a 'fucking slut'.
I've sworn in front of my children, but I've never gone up to a complete stranger and verbally abused them.
There really is no excuse for it.

I'd say he is an abusive twat.
I'd bet good money on it.

Yes yes yes you can make an assumption and no she was not "as bad"

WTF is wrong with people? Calling a woman a "fucking slut" is never acceptable. Ever, in any circumstance.

Comparable to missing out on a car parking space?!!!!

Some people have really low expectations of what is okay behaviour.

Which is pretty much where I got to.

Sitting at home here. I've got 3 little kids who - even in the worst circumstances- I cant imagine uttering the words 'fucking slut' to.

No matter how bad life got. It's just not a phrase I'd say.

And I saw the poor little mite looking back at me while her dad carried her into Tesco, calling me a 'fucking, passive aggressive fucking slut'.

I'm no psychologist but fairly sure that's bad news for the poor kid. In her home.

And I can't actually believe I have to spell that out.

I can’t believe the victim blaming on this thread. That choice of phrase doesn’t just fall from the mouth of a reasonable person, not matter how stressed they are. Those are the words of a bullying misogynist.

I can’t comment on the rights and wrongs of parking

But HWBU to call you names and swear at you

And YWBU to continue making comments inside the shop

Ahhh the diagram, he has right of way. However he got a space no need for the aggression and if he arrived whilst you were there he should have assumed you were waiting on the space plus you beat him on the baby front so you were more in need of the space from that POV . I'd have e nipped into the cafe for a brew in hope that I'd lose him.

We weren't inside the shop.

This was all outside for the space of prob 1 minute.

I took stock of the situation when I went in the shop and went to the front desk and asked if if I could have someone from security to come to my car with me quickly when we went home.

Whilst I said I gave some, I was really scared. Couldn't focus properly for the shop. Got what was needed (thankfully not too much) and got put as quickly as possible.

Lovely nice man came out quickly while I loaded up. Then I drove home.

I swear though- was looking in fear mirror a lot. I was scared.

Sorry lots of mistakes above. I've had a wine now.

This is all pretty silly.

I just wanted to tell someone what happened today. It wasn't nice. It scared me a bit and I wasn't ready for it. And you don't know what to do with that feeling sometimes. Proper shaking and hiding it from 3 kids who sort of can see what's happening.

They've completely forgotten about it now and I'm v close to after the next vino. 🍷

Thanks

He didn't have right of way as the car park is not a road, it is private property. So road markings are not legal road markings, more suggestions if you will.

BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER IF SHE DID A DANCE IN THE SPOT WHILE STRADDLING A BICYCLE, IT'S NEVER ACCEPTABLE TO CALL SOMEONE A FUCKING SLUT

Apologies, I think I may have got a little over invested.

It would have been much funnier if you'd replied " How did you know? "

People keep going on about right of way. There's no right of way in a car park.

Hugs he was unreasonable to be mad and down right inappropriate to even have said a word, let alone call you derogatory names. I think you have assumed correctly he has issues and took offence. Have another glass of wine and forget it.

These are the kinds of instances when I dust off my 'posh' voice. People like that deserve to be put in their place.

An assault takes place when X causes Y to "apprehend immediate and unlawful personal violence". The fact that he shouted at you and caused you to fear for your safety is sufficient for the offence to have been committed. If this had happened to my DW, I would be extremely disappointed if she did not call 101 and report the offence. Tesco will have CCTV (and possibly a number plate recognition system on the car park) which could be used to identify the person. This could very well end up with a caution or conviction, and would be well-deserved. It is very likely that he will continue to behave in this matter unless stopped.

I'm amazed by some of the posters here thinking that his behaviour was any shade of acceptable.

Oh OP I'm so angry for you! And I don't think you stole his place, you'd have been an awkward bugger to cross the junction, you were there waiting first. Thems the rules.

Why do men like this default to a sexist insult about promiscuity? Because the worst thing a woman can be called is someone who enjoys lots of sex. Wanker

So sorry OP. I also am shocked at the victim blaming on this thread. It's a car park space. For a supermarket. Hardly a life or death situation to call someone a 'fucking slut'. This right of way nonsense, seriously. If a poster had said that her husband had shouted this at her, there would be a chorus of 'LTB'. How is there any reason or excuse just because it's a random stranger.

I agree, forget the space claim, saying that to anyone is totally unacceptable in any circumstances.

Bearing in mind this isn't a public road, and we all know that normal rules unfortunately don't apply two days before Xmas when everyone is stressed, I don't think you Dan cute 'right if way'.

If you were there before him, that's that. You did the right thing in trying to keep it breezy but yes, you're right, he was a twat, regardless of 'right if way'.

There are better ways to deal with this sort of thing and that wasn't it!

I have to ask what's wrong with using the words passive aggressive in front of kids?

Calm down and forget about it, it's horrible out there in the shops right now tempers are really short. You'll probably never have to see his miserable face again

Happy Christmas.
Loathe it.
Why even pretend it is anything other than a hugely expensive stress fest.

Kids are in bed.

JohnHunter had me and made me weep.

I told DH about everything earlier and he's been v nice.

In the morning, this goes away. This is so fucking stupid.

I just needed to vent this shit away.

Thanks. 🍒