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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Flowers At Work?

174 replies

BlueNeighbourhood1 · 22/12/2017 09:35

Hello,

I've posted about this nightmare woman at work before and things had calmed down, I stayed out of her way, put my headphones in when the noise was too much and finally finished for Christmas on Tuesday.

Yesterday some flowers, chocolates and a card arrived for me at work from one of the sites I work with. My friend (who works with us both) text and emailed me pictures of everything and I saw it this morning, messaged her and said it's so lovely and I'd drop in and collect them today.

The other woman has taken the flowers home for herself! I'm so angry, friend has called this morning and said sorry as she was there but didn't stop her. She knew that as soon as I had seen the messages I'd come and collect them.

AIBU to be absolutely pissed off my gift has gone to someone else?!

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 28/12/2017 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 28/12/2017 13:28

Most of us come back on 2nd January - including her. My Manager isn't back until the 4th, so I've promised myself I'm going to keep it to myself and then see what comes of it when my manager completes her investigation.

Anyone saying it isn't that bad - I've had to email the branch the came from and lie to them and say how beautiful the flowers were and greatfully received, all because I don't want the department to look like we have thieves and people doing stuff like that in our small team. So now I'm in on the lying, I just think it's disgusting.

Tbf I think the shame of knowing her plan hasn't worked and that everyone on our site knows she's a thief and liar is enough for me. She won't be the centre of attention like she always wants anymore

OP posts:
LakieLady · 28/12/2017 14:13

I'm gobsmacked by this. Taking a gift clearly intended for, and addressed to, someone else is as bad as going through someone's desk or handbag and nicking stuff imo.

If I was her manager, I'd be asking HR if there were any compelling reasons not to fire her.

Late entrant for CF of the year, I reckon.

Aridane · 28/12/2017 14:22

Anyone saying it isn't that bad - I've had to email the branch the came from and LIE to them and say how beautiful the flowers were and greatfully received, all because I don't want the department to look like we have thieves and people doing stuff like that in our small team. So now I'm in on the lying, I just think it's disgusting.

Oh for goodness sake - you don't have to lie to the donor. Just say thank you so much for the flowers, how kind it was of to send them and all best wishes for 2018

DrKrogersfavouritepatient · 28/12/2017 14:45

I think you’re over reacting and are affected by your feelings about this woman.

One minute you’re horrified that anyone other than you opened your mail, then when you realise it was not CF it’s ok coz perishables?
Giving the flowers to receptionist was a pretty good idea as she didn’t know you were coming in to collect them
Better communication would make your whole team look a lot less shit tbyour friend should have said something to the cf about you
Coming in to collect them
Cf could have told your friend she was going to give them to receptionist or maybe your friend should have delivered the parcel straight to you (seeing as it’s so outrageous to have opened it)
The woman was cheeky but it’s become a big issue because of the cliquey and immature approach to teamwork that’s been
Allowed to develop

Iprefercoffeetotea · 28/12/2017 14:48

I'm not sure why the "friend" had to open the package anyway. I don't open colleagues' parcels/post under any circumstances unless they've left the company and it's obviously work-related.

Unless it looked like a flower box, eg from Bloom & Wild. But then why not just phone you and say it was there. You don't need to open it in that case.

I'm not keen on the behaviour of either of your colleagues.

nocoolnamesleft · 28/12/2017 15:03

You do seem to be overreacting a wee bit. Perhaps because of past history you haven't shared?

Would you have preferred to go back after Xmas, to find an unopened box of rotting flowers?

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 28/12/2017 15:29

I would've preferred to have been called or text beforehand and asked if she could have the flowers, rather than taking and distributing them as she sees fit. And I don't want things addressed to me to be opened by anyone, not my friend, not the other woman, nobody

OP posts:
KeepServingTheDrinks · 28/12/2017 15:45

Gobsmacked by your updates. I hope your manager resolves and that you update us

Ilovetolurk · 28/12/2017 15:52

As I said upthread boxes of flowers are usually distinctive. A certain height and shape and very light. If one came for my colleague to my work after they had finished for Christmas I might well open it to see what it was so I could let them know it had arrived for them

It’s what happened next that’s the cf element.

notapizzaeater · 28/12/2017 16:11

Did she give them the girl as a gift from your entire team or just from her ? Cheeky bugger !

Original poster
BlueNeighbourhood1 · 28/12/2017 16:17

Did she give them the girl as a gift from your entire team or just from her ?

My Manager explicitly asked the girl on reception if she had said it was from her or from our team and the girl on reception said she strongly implied the gift was from the woman herself and not the team. We all have regions we 'look after' and the site we are based at is one of the ones this woman looks after, so there's nothing unusual about her buying them a token gift for Christmas - I just think it was more making a huge point of going out to the supermarket to buy them and returning with a half eaten advent calendar (from one of our desks) and the flowers I was given as presents for them.

OP posts:
Redsippycup · 28/12/2017 19:34

Are you saying the advent calendar she gave the other person was also nicked from someone's desk?! Shock

Ragwort · 29/12/2017 20:54

I still think you are totally over reacting, yes, it's a shame you didn't get the flowers but really to take this matter to your manager is just extreme; do enjoy making a drama out of this whole thing?

And you have never clearly explained why you didn't just contact your colleague immediately after you realised she'd taken them and suggest you met to pick them up.

And have you even spoken to this colleague directly about the incident or are you just enjoying 'taking things further' Hmm?

elessar · 29/12/2017 21:36

I hope you're going to complain to your manager about your friend as well then, as you were so outraged by the box being opened.

It's not okay to just complain about the CF colleague when she's only half the issue.

ButteredScone · 29/12/2017 22:22

Your whole set up sounds a bit strange. Particularly the emphasis on the shame of your department.

Are you based in the UK? This sounds culturally different.

TeaAndToast85 · 29/12/2017 22:50

Definitely definitely definitely say you were planning to come in and collect them that afternoon

HuskyMcClusky · 29/12/2017 23:02

This all sounds very dramatic.

Have you even spoken directly to the colleague who took your flowers??

TeaAndToast85 · 29/12/2017 23:04

WHOOPS, thread has moved on! Soz. Definitely a late entrant for CF 2017 x

LavenderDoll · 29/12/2017 23:15

If you are grassing up the woman you don't like then what about the friend who opened your parcel
It all sounds very dramatic ... I can't see the big deal...

PurpleStarInCashmereSky · 30/12/2017 08:05

Who did she snitch the advent calendar from?

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret · 30/12/2017 09:20

I think it all sounds quite childish! Her 'crime' warrants a grumble and an eye roll to your 'friend' when you next see her, but that's it.

'CF' gave the flowers to the receptionist, maybe she felt she didn't need to say they are from the department, maybe she assumed the receptionist would realise? maybe the receptionist is buying into the drama (by feigning she thought it was from 'cf') as much as you and your friend?

You obviously don't like this woman, the fact that when you thought she had opened the parcel you wanted her hung drawn and quartered, but when you realised it was your pal it became a minor misdemeanour! maybe you have a point but the faux indignation and the 'taking things further' makes me thank goodness I don't work in an office if this is the type of nonsense that goes on.

DrKrogersfavouritepatient · 30/12/2017 09:59

agree with FGF

Bumblebee2302 · 07/01/2018 12:10

Any more news, OP?

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